What is your ritual?

[xR****]

Title says it all! For doms and subs;

What is your ritual before a scene? What really gets you into the headspace you need? What distractions do you need to close out?

I am pretty limited experience, but for me I like to be on my knees. Hands on my knees, hair pulled back out of my face. Either looking at the floor or with my eyes closed (until my dom says otherwise) and I repeat my mantra out loud. 🥰

What is yours?

[to****]

I like to have a coffee and cigarette and have the man I'm with order me to my knees to do my job then hopefully he'll pull my hair *** me to orally service him while smacking me in the face with his manhood

[ne****]

I dont have any at the moment. Being switchy I'd probably want one for each dom and sub. Any hints or tips?

[xR****]

2 minutes ago, nekopulse said:

I dont have any at the moment. Being switchy I'd probably want one for each dom and sub. Any hints or tips?

I can give mine. For example, I close the door, get on my knees, look at the floor and my mantra is
"My dom is my world.
My job is to surrender.
My purpose is to submit.
My role is to feel. " 🥰

[ex****]

I take a pregame bathroom visit like it’s before a swim meet, then T-pose when finished, which helps me to absorb all of the latent energy made available by my all of my ancestors watching in the spirit realm.

[Ri****]

I think ritual is very important and is a great question. From a Dom perspective, my outline is more or less:
The environment preparation
The collaring
The set up
At this point if I am using rope, I would set my rig here.
The scene
De-rig and aftercare.
I dont think I missed any part here, and of course I may include or chose to omit things other people do. Any questions or critiques are welcome.

[jo****]

This is an excellent question. My “rituals”are simple but consistent. Ooening hug. No less than 20 seconds embraced. Clothes off at the door. Take time to ensure that they are folded and placed carefully. Short body inspection; touching, feathering and appreciating. Cuffs and collar placed. Then she undresses me.

After that, clothes left behind, we go to the playroom.

[xR****]

I love all of these answers! I wish I could relate to the collaring during the prep phase. Something heavy and solid, something tangible, would really help get into that headspace. And the inspection! Oh my! Never got that far, my experience is so limited. 😫 Keep them coming, please!

[wa****]

1 hour ago, MomNerd said:

Usually starts with a smoke out sess. Then a makeout sess with lots of touching. Then usually I just present myself ass up and legs spread lol kinda like a puppy ready for play. Plus I cum multiple time throughout so I’m in complete bless opening myself up to my partner to have their way with me.

Sounds perfect too me

[wa****]

Just now, wavewarrior said:

Sounds perfect too me

Nothing better than having that connection between each other

[rp****]

I’m a sub and I just get in my head repeatedly saying yes mommy yes mommy

[sp****]

A nice cup of tea before anything

[Mi****]

It starts with a long hug, a full two minutes, nothing said. Same idea as joesarciii's twenty seconds, I just find the longer version does more work.

Then she lays out the toys while I shower. That matters more than it sounds. It gives her something to do with the waiting, and I come back into the room in a different mode than the one I left in.

When I'm out she turns the lights down and kneels at the foot of the bed, head bowed, collar held up in both hands, and asks to be collared. Putting it on I say the same words every time, under the protection of this collar, I do you no harm. You mentioned wanting something heavy and tangible for that phase, and that's exactly what it does here, the weight arriving plus the same sentence every single time.

Then, and this is the distractions half of your question, I leave her kneeling and walk the room. Lock the door, check the curtains, straighten the bed. She watches me seal the place off while she's already collared and down there. It isn't admin, it's her seeing the outside get shut out before anything starts.

Last thing before we begin she answers four questions out loud, who's in charge, what her task is, what her safewords are with her mouth free, and what her signal is when she's gagged and bound. Red and yellow for the first, a dog trainer for the second. Then we start

Holy yapperoni 🤣🤣

[Fo****]

I’m always in my dom headspace. I’m always looking for ways to please my sub even without a scene, which is why my hard limits reflect things I would never do to a person no matter the situation. My soft limits tend to be things I can view as “trolling” or messing with someone which I do regularly so I’m willing to do those with proper boundaries and the understanding I do not mean a single word of it.

[xR****]

5 hours ago, MisterLove69 said:

It starts with a long hug, a full two minutes, nothing said. Same idea as joesarciii's twenty seconds, I just find the longer version does more work.

Then she lays out the toys while I shower. That matters more than it sounds. It gives her something to do with the waiting, and I come back into the room in a different mode than the one I left in.

When I'm out she turns the lights down and kneels at the foot of the bed, head bowed, collar held up in both hands, and asks to be collared. Putting it on I say the same words every time, under the protection of this collar, I do you no harm. You mentioned wanting something heavy and tangible for that phase, and that's exactly what it does here, the weight arriving plus the same sentence every single time.

Then, and this is the distractions half of your question, I leave her kneeling and walk the room. Lock the door, check the curtains, straighten the bed. She watches me seal the place off while she's already collared and down there. It isn't admin, it's her seeing the outside get shut out before anything starts.

Last thing before we begin she answers four questions out loud, who's in charge, what her task is, what her safewords are with her mouth free, and what her signal is when she's gagged and bound. Red and yellow for the first, a dog trainer for the second. Then we start

Holy yapperoni 🤣🤣

😵‍💫🥵 Shutting the world out helps so much, at least to me. I like that my dom is my world and nothing else matters. The stress goes away, the frustration. Anything outside of the moment doesn't exist. I love that so much!

[ne****]

I have no experience being in a relationship with these distinct dynamics.
I always choose to create equity with women. Which, I noticed, confuses many women. So communicating boundaries becomes exhaustive groundwork sometimes.
The idea of designating sun/dom roles as a method of role playing. This I find, has exciting potential with women.
My inner child always enjoys role play.

[an****]

My ritual is obsessive preparation.

I script the scene, stage it, deep clean, set the room, stereo/music, prep aftercare, and have backup plans (including non-play options) before my partner ever walks through the door.

Whether it's my massage room, bedroom, or even my car, the environment is very intentional. Nothing kills headspace faster than, 'hang on, where did I put xyz'. I monitor time, especially if it's late, I don't like having people on the road at night.

If I'm doing my job right, she never sees the work, and it's a lot of work, but worth it.

[Aj****]

I've been a dom for 4 years and didn't realize the importance of a pre-play ritual until about 2 years ago.

I always eat something light 30 minutes before. I first set the scene and clean if I need to, I then prep the toys/bondage. Once the actual labor is done, I quietly sit with myself in a dark space and internalize who I am, who my play partner is, and most importantly the kind of experience they are seeking to have. I align inner-self with the Dom heads pace, I open my eyes, and I begin.

[ne****]

It's interesting to read about preparation and mindfulness. To be a successful Dom. I enjoy learning about everything.
I Thank everyone who contributes to this thread .

[da****]

This is A wonderful thread

[Lo****]

I prepare the playroom while he prepares something light to eat and drink for our aftercare-time.
Then he prepares himself, gets clean in- and outside, puts everything on/in, I layed out for him and waits kneeling with collar in his hands on his designated place.

[sp****]

July 27, MisterLove69 said:

It starts with a long hug, a full two minutes, nothing said. Same idea as joesarciii's twenty seconds, I just find the longer version does more work.

Then she lays out the toys while I shower. That matters more than it sounds. It gives her something to do with the waiting, and I come back into the room in a different mode than the one I left in.

When I'm out she turns the lights down and kneels at the foot of the bed, head bowed, collar held up in both hands, and asks to be collared. Putting it on I say the same words every time, under the protection of this collar, I do you no harm. You mentioned wanting something heavy and tangible for that phase, and that's exactly what it does here, the weight arriving plus the same sentence every single time.

Then, and this is the distractions half of your question, I leave her kneeling and walk the room. Lock the door, check the curtains, straighten the bed. She watches me seal the place off while she's already collared and down there. It isn't admin, it's her seeing the outside get shut out before anything starts.

Last thing before we begin she answers four questions out loud, who's in charge, what her task is, what her safewords are with her mouth free, and what her signal is when she's gagged and bound. Red and yellow for the first, a dog trainer for the second. Then we start

Holy yapperoni 🤣🤣

That’s amazing 🤩

[sp****]

I’ve never really thought about this and this has put it into so much perspective and I really have enjoyed reading others preparation and realized I was settling for bare minimum. So, thank you for teaching me my wants and needs are important and vice versa and that I need to also get into the habit of communicating more on both needs not just my own either ❤️🥰

[xR****]

27 minutes ago, spruce-grove22066 said:

I’ve never really thought about this and this has put it into so much perspective and I really have enjoyed reading others preparation and realized I was settling for bare minimum. So, thank you for teaching me my wants and needs are important and vice versa and that I need to also get into the habit of communicating more on both needs not just my own either ❤️🥰

That was the whole point of me presenting this discussion. Ritual is mind-blowingly important. Preparation is vital..getting in the mood and the headspace is mandatory for a scene to work. And communication is paramount! Without trust and communication this dynamic does NOT work.

Communication can be boring. It can be mundane. It isn't the least bit sexy. But, you know what? Do it anyway and your scenes get that much more intense! Even though I am a newbie, I learned this super quick. 🥰

[Go****]

I think that really depends on the partner.

Personally my own ritual would be to spend the day before working out and doing lots of yoga, maybe spend a few hours in the forest and meditate a bit. I also take the time to shape my ropes out and oil them and prepare a bag of gear for whatever adventure may be on the menu.

And if it’s a new partner I always like to have a nice romantic dinner so we can discuss things at length in a comfortable environment.

But as for a ritual right before a scene with someone; that’s something I’d have to play on a case by case basis.

Probably some candles and a conversation/clarification of limits and safe words and all that, maybe some candles or music to make that feel smooth and comfortable.

Very individual is different and I think that ritual needs to be something that the players in a scene create together.