What matters the most to you?

[Bearded_Carpet]

Simple: oral fixation

[Ra****]

Communicative. In relationships and dynamics communication is so damn important. Especially in D/s on either side of the slash communication is so important and necessary.

[Mr****]

Whimsey, life is more fun with people who find the smallest things mind-blowingly amazing and who can dance in the rain.

[Dr****]

Pictures on their profile …

[no****]

Genuine desire

[Ed****]

Honesty, with themselves and with me. Only then can they communicate transparently, only then can I give them what they desire.

[si****]

Emotional intimacy is top tier, unfortunately if it’s without the sexual compatibility it alone isn’t enough for me.

[Br****]

Compersion. If they can’t handle others having pleasure without them they aren’t getting into my polycule.

[at****]

a feral sexual appetite and solid sense of humor

[BlueGrace]

All of my partners are very intelligent, educated, well rounded, and open minded. I am a sapiosexual and intellect is extremely important to me. I cannot be with a partner that is dumb or content with ignorance.

[ar****]

I feel like "open minded" is often used as a synonym for "going along with my desires". And to me, that touches on ignoring (or requiring very low) personal boundaries.

I'm not kinky myself, and I only like nonperformant honest partners who communicate openly and willing to work through whatever feelings come up.

And "honest" here is not a synonym for monogamy. Monogamy is fine, but so is non-monogamy: just as long as they are honest (ethical) about their inner world. That's love to me, not being restrictive.

[Yaaaaaaay]

Honesty. 100%.
Whatever it is, just tell me the truth and let me decide if I want it in my life. I won’t judge you for it but the choice to keep it around is mine alone.
When someone is honest with me, especially when they know it might cost them or not go over well, that goes further than anything else. That kind of courage can actually change how I feel about the very thing they were afraid to share.
I don't know if its the fact that its so rare that makes it attractive or what but I'm instantly changing how I feel about them the moment they are honest.

[to****]

My comment may seem boring, but without question , kissing?

[Re****]

An equal division of honesty, perception, honor, common sense, passion, creativity, and adaptability.

[KnightOfCydonia]

For me it’s clarity. Open communication is absolutely essential in a lifestyle dynamic, you both need absolutely clarity on what you each want from the relationship, and I really feel you need to lay everything out honestly early on and create a structure that works. Authenticity is crucial for me; as a sub, I want my partner to be her authentic dominant self rather than having to water it down or second guess, which then allows me to lean into my submissive side with authenticity too. For that to work, you both need to know what the other needs, what they like and dislike, where boundaries are etc. Because when all that’s clear in black and white, everything that fits within that framework is explicitly okay and there isn’t this uncertainty about whether what you’re doing is okay/good for the other person. That’s a big cognitive load taken off both of you.

[Ia****]

To be open for anything. I don't want to be with a partner that's comfortable with being stagnant. Everyone & everything deserves to change, it what makes a caterpillar into a butterfly or a tadpole into a frog. Denying yourself the means to change is living in *** of turning into someone you don't know. But it's fine to change, change is natural. I don't want to be with a partner who lives in *** of becoming more or someone different is what I'm saying.