JC**** Posted Monday at 11:06 PM Newer* consistent to what I want but at the same time giving my partner what they want even if it's slow it's in my control
Chainedsilk Posted Monday at 11:17 PM For me, it’s consistency, communication, emotional intelligence, and trust built over time. I need to feel seen as a whole person, not just as someone willing to submit. Someone who asks questions, listens to the answers, respects boundaries without making them feel like an inconvenience, follows through on what they say, and communicates clearly before, during, and after. I also need depth and care. Intensity alone doesn’t make me feel safe enough to surrender. Knowing I can be ***, say no, change my mind, ask for reassurance, or have a hard conversation without being punished for it matters far more. I’m naturally inclined to follow, but that part of me comes out most strongly when I feel genuinely safe, wanted, understood, and cared for. Submission, for me, is something that grows from trust. It isn’t something a title automatically earns.
po**** Posted Wednesday at 12:29 AM What makes me feel safe is someone who truly sees me. Someone who is curious, and takes time to learn me before they ever make a move. I think patience and curiosity are needed to dom. Alot of people Ive met hear Im a sub and try to automatically have sex, or tell me what to do. It makes me feel they are weak. It doesn't feel dominant at all. Im not sure if Im making sense, but that's my two cents on it🧚🏾♀️☺️. I love this question, and discussion btw.
fe**** Posted Wednesday at 04:42 AM The guy I’m seeing was and is patient with me. Also, he was PERSISTENT lol. He didn’t mention anything sexual when we started talking unlike other guys🙄. I brung up sexual stuff first.
Br**** Posted Wednesday at 09:59 AM I dont know but feeling unsafe is quite thrilling. I'm built different I guess.
Chainedsilk Posted yesterday at 12:39 AM 14 hours ago, BrittneySpear said: I dont know but feeling unsafe is quite thrilling. I'm built different I guess. No, not at all. Feeling unsafe with someone I genuinely want to submit to can be incredibly thrilling. It’s adrenaline-pumping, freeing, and lets me surrender control in a way I normally don’t. I think the key is that the feeling of danger can be hot when the person themselves feels safe. That’s what lets me actually let go. So no, I don’t think you’re built different. I think some of us just like our trust with a little edge to it. 😏
Ti**** Posted 10 hours ago Exploring Sub, I look at: - Consistency (non sporadic Communication) - Persistence (with Patience) - Non-Judgmental / Openness - Reassurance (for my Insecurities) - Praise as I learn - Guidance 1st (punishment 2nd or 3rd…) - Clear Rules (no mid protocol switching) - Build Up to Extreme Play Sessions. Overall, building up. Foundation, Walls, Roof before even exploring the interior design options.
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