I don't orgasam from penetration

[Chap87]

Because I don't orgasam from penetration I get my enjoyment elsewhere, I get great enjoyment out of giving pleasure in different forms and be satisfied sometimes without cumming at all.
To find someone that understands this is difficult because naturally a woman sees your attraction to them by cumming during sex no matter how many orgasms you have handed out.
I enjoy cumming most from a 69 position, what are peoples thoughts on this?
Would some sex but not being the focus be an issue?
Would you enjoy being pleasured through different means without sex penetration?

[LIxdrsr]

I get that, I actually enjoy the act more, in my case, using dildos and plugs, I enjoy that more than the final payoff. The overall feeling and maybe the anticipation.

[Lexaas]

The biggest and most important lesson I have ever learned from satisfaction during "sexual activity", is that you should always communicate with your partner.
If you can clearly communicate your needs to your lover and they still doubt you, I would suggest they are not the best fit for you.
I know from personal experience that finding lovers in the first place is difficult, but I would rather not have sex than have it with someone who does not understand my needs.

I have basically just reworded what you already said, but I hope this at least affirms your thoughts?

[Hezzair]

As I have aged and had more partners, I have learned to not take things so personally. I have also learned that everyone's body works differently, so what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for everyone. Just because most cishet women get satisfaction from having a male partner finish in them, that doesn't mean all do. Just like you don't find the most pleasure finishing that way.
When you find partners that click with you, they understand that it is more important that everyone is having a good time, not *how* that good time takes place.

[PL****]

I was in a relationship with a man for 17 years who reached an orgasm a total of 8 times. Not because he didn't enjoy the orgasm but because he enjoyed the journey far more. At first I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong. I was so sure I was being good, fitting all his needs wants and desires, but later in the relationship I asked one day, Why can't I make you orgasm? Turns out he made a choice not to. He loved our sessions, loved seeing me pleased, it is was drove his pleasure. It was difficult at first, because I was sooo different. However as I asked more questions I began to understand that it wasn't I was doing wrong or wasn't good enough, it was simply his thing...we all have our yums this was his.

[ri****]

I've been extremely fortunate to have 2 partners that understood that I suffered with ED and were able to work around it Plus the fact I'm 72 doesn't help either, I learned that I'm more interested in their Physical Satisfaction then my own I love watching them Orgasm, even Squirting,The noises they make and the body cotortions bring me as much satisfaction as I need I've made some Little and Major Adjustments like including Bringing Adult Toys to the Party So this has worked for us Maybe it can work for you

[DaveBlake]

I suffered injuries from getting rear-ended in an auto accident. These injuries make getting and keeping an erection challenging at best. It takes very intense stimulation to bring me to orgasm, and that doesn't happen during oral or vaginal sex. I can use a vacuum masturbation device to cum. So, I have learned to derive great pleasure in pleasing my partner, and her orgasms are very satisfying to me. I don't need to cum to have great sex.

[Pa****]

I understand what you are saying, i too derive great pleasure and happiness giving as much pleasure as possible. It heightens my pleasure when i do finish, and when I don't i still feel like i accomplished my main goal.

[Mo****]

Whatever brings us satisfactory is the main thing. The rest is no matter… who’s here to judge? We’re all different and let’s do things make US only happy

[To****]

For me personally I like long play sessions. Orgasm isn't the be-all and end-all. Enjoying time together, exploring, playing is all part of being mentally and sexually mature.
And I love 69! 😍

[me****]

Plenty of ways to have fun. Enjoy exploring. It makes it so much more to enjoy. In every way. Plenty of fantasies but most are too shy to act on them.

[Tr****]

I get most pleasure from pleasing her,,, not orgasm pleasure, but most enjoyable, I'm happy to not cum if I know she has and has enjoyed it, using whatever method that might be, penetration isn't always required

[BI****]

4 minutes ago, TrySubAndDom69 said:

I get most pleasure from pleasing her,,, not orgasm pleasure, but most enjoyable, I'm happy to not cum if I know she has and has enjoyed it, using whatever method that might be, penetration isn't always required

I agree 100^

[ea****]

Toys are my friend. Not my enemy

[Fu****]

Women struggling to orgasm from penetrative sex is pretty normal in my experience.
Some basically always do, some its hit and miss, some never do.
😝 never fails

[Fu****]

1 minute ago, FuriouslyNick said:

Women struggling to orgasm from penetrative sex is pretty normal in my experience.
Some basically always do, some its hit and miss, some never do.
😝 never fails

Oh you are a man, yeah thats outside my experience, but not something ive come across personally

[ey****]

two spin off thoughts

1) Sex in general is more than PiV.   I know for a lot of men this is where it starts and ends (apart from maybe foreplay) but PiV isn't the all about sex

2) Like, funnily enough this is where a lot of the very idea around fetishes came from in the first place - that people couldn't get aroused and/or orgasm without specific circumstances or stimuli. (though, 69 being a sexual activity would rule it out being a fetish) 

[Mr****]

Tl;dr last paragraph.

This could be any number of things, given the psychological links between libido, sex drive, and physical prowess.

I'd suspect you enjoy when your interactions feel egalitarian—like you and your partner *may* have a dynamic but that the physical parts of it don't. Might also be a cognitive means to keep your heart out of the "hard work" zone, which can be bad for both staying erect or for sufficient trigger of climax. These things in mind: try having your partner ride you with a lot of kissing.

Alternatively, you could simply deeply admire oral or manual stimulation from partners more than vaginal (every skill is unique); so, by proxy, you already understand yourself more than you think.

A lot of women greatly prefer clit play or labial teases (to say absolutely nothing of how the entire female body is basically one big ero-zone), and many have either deep concerns about or deep stress surrounding penetration. In my experience (I am a sample size of 1, YMMV, [insert disclaimer here]...) think a vagina-possessing person's enjoyment of penetration is 1:1 linked to their enjoyment of *you" as a value-booster in their lives. I'd worry less about your current concern.