Sadomasochism vs. Masochism

[PL****]

I am a masochist, I love the way p@in feels. I like when leather impacts my skin and the fact that it distracts from the *** of my disabilities. I love when my skin gets red and swollen enough to be warm and tingly.

However, i do not know what a sadomasachist feels, their perspective, or their reasons for liking it and this to me is a mystery and a curiosity.

What do get out of being the one causing the impact or using different implements to create the type of p@ain your partner wants and desires?

[sp****]

For me I am what I call a service sadist. I enjoy giving the need feeling to the one needing the ***. I enjoy the warmth of the skin the art created on another from welts sratches bits the bruising is almost hypnotic watching the color come in and then building on it. I enjoy taking one into subspace and keeping them there as ling as possible, then the aftercare if desired. It’s not sexual but feels like it should be

[Fu****]

A mix of power and control. That you want it and I can make you beg me to provide it.
What "it" is very much a secondary concern.

So i dont get anything out of spanking you, I get a lot out of you needing me to spank you.

[PL****]

3 minutes ago, FuriouslyNick said:

A mix of power and control. That you want it and I can make you beg me to provide it.
What "it" is very much a secondary concern.

So i dont get anything out of spanking you, I get a lot out of you needing me to spank you.

So far this seems to be the response of individuals I have asked as well. However, ik there are sadists who enjoy giving *** not because a submissive wants it but because it is something they enjoy. This post was geared toward them, though I do appreciate your reply! Ty

[Sweetestsadist]

As much as it can take my sub away from thinking about anything else, it does the same for me. I get my frustrations out on their skin. Mental anguish that has bothered me, goes away after. I have a list of things that have made me angry in between sessions. I read them before a playdate. Gets my head in the right spot. I love the power of it too. It's something I'm in control of. I love that a man is ready for me to do what I wish, just to please me.

[jo****]

In my head, the term sadomasochism describes a type of play that is defined by the giving and receiving of *** and not an actual role. The person delivering that *** is the sadist. I know a couple of sadists, but I am not one. When I deliver ***, it is to provide that *** for my submissive. She is a masochist and derives her pleasure from that delivery. When my sadist friends deliver ***, it is the focus of their desire, regardless of the desires of their submissive (within their own consent dynamic).

[PL****]

6 hours ago, Sweetestsadist said:

As much as it can take my sub away from thinking about anything else, it does the same for me. I get my frustrations out on their skin. Mental anguish that has bothered me, goes away after. I have a list of things that have made me angry in between sessions. I read them before a playdate. Gets my head in the right spot. I love the power of it too. It's something I'm in control of. I love that a man is ready for me to do what I wish, just to please me.

This makes so much sense to me. I have a list of all the negatives that sits rent free in my brain, but when i receive that p@@in nbsp;the negatives slowly disappear. It is this thing where literally each impact, bite, scratch, pull, twist, etc. is like I've been punished and so I do not have to hang onto the feelings anymore. Ty for being so insightful!

[PL****]

2 hours ago, joesarciii said:

In my head, the term sadomasochism describes a type of play that is defined by the giving and receiving of *** and not an actual role. The person delivering that *** is the sadist. I know a couple of sadists, but I am not one. When I deliver ***, it is to provide that *** for my submissive. She is a masochist and derives her pleasure from that delivery. When my sadist friends deliver ***, it is the focus of their desire, regardless of the desires of their submissive (within their own consent dynamic).

TY for correcting my use of the terminology. I have fibromyalgia and at the time I wrote the post, I could not for the life of me remember the term sadist.

[sardonicus87]

10 hours ago, joesarciii said:

In my head, the term sadomasochism describes a type of play that is defined by the giving and receiving of *** and not an actual role. The person delivering that *** is the sadist. I know a couple of sadists, but I am not one. When I deliver ***, it is to provide that *** for my submissive. She is a masochist and derives her pleasure from that delivery. When my sadist friends deliver ***, it is the focus of their desire, regardless of the desires of their submissive (within their own consent dynamic).

Pretty much this. Though I am a sadist (not a sadomasochist), it's basically the non-D/s equivalent of a "switch", but for *** play. Sadism and masochism isn't, in itself, about dynamics... that's what D/s is. S&M by itself is just about ***. That's not to say power exchange dynamics can't also be a factor, but then you're not talking about sadists/masochists/sadomasochists but rather sadistic/masochistic/sadomasochistic doms/subs. A lot of people seem to not understand the difference, or treat everything in BDSM as if it's inherently "dom side" or "sub side", conflating D/s stuff with everything in BDSM. It's very "d/s centric/normative", which is rather annoying for people like me that don't care about roles or dynamics.

As far as I can tell, what few sadomasochists I have talked to, they "get the same thing out of it" as sadists when they're topping and the same as masochists when bottoming.

[PL****]

1 hour ago, sardonicus87 said:

Pretty much this. Though I am a sadist (not a sadomasochist), it's basically the non-D/s equivalent of a "switch", but for *** play. Sadism and masochism isn't, in itself, about dynamics... that's what D/s is. S&M by itself is just about ***. That's not to say power exchange dynamics can't also be a factor, but then you're not talking about sadists/masochists/sadomasochists but rather sadistic/masochistic/sadomasochistic doms/subs. A lot of people seem to not understand the difference, or treat everything in BDSM as if it's inherently "dom side" or "sub side", conflating D/s stuff with everything in BDSM. It's very "d/s centric/normative", which is rather annoying for people like me that don't care about roles or dynamics.

As far as I can tell, what few sadomasochists I have talked to, they "get the same thing out of it" as sadists when they're topping and the same as masochists when bottoming.

I was asking about what sadists got out of it and made a mistake in the terminology. My goal was to understand what a sadist dominant gets out of causing p@@in nbsp;to a masochist submissive.

[sardonicus87]

What we get out of it is pleasure, just that simple. We like the way it feels to cause ***. That's only slightly oversimplified, obviously the method of delivery matters too, just like because a masochist likes ***, that doesn't mean they enjoy stubbing their toe. Just like not all *** is the same, not all delivery is the same.

If it doesn't make sense, think about your own wording of masochism for you and how that sounds to non-masochists. "But *** hurts, how can that be pleasurable, how could someone like how it feels?".

Same thing for us, it's pleasurable for us to cause ***... what we get out of it just is pleasure. Asking us "but how" is like non-masos asking you "but how can you like it". Just do, that's it.