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Seem to get ignored - Is it just me?

St****

By St****
in New to BDSM, Kink & Fetish?

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St****

St****

Posted

Hi Im just posting a message to see if its just me or does anyone else seem to get blanked/ignored or ghosted in here ?
As it just destroys my already low confidence levels.

Chastity_Pup_Gabbia

Chastity_Pup_Gabbia

Posted
It's not just you. I've been ghosted some of the times. I just try not to let it bother me as if someone don't get back to you then they are probably not worth it.
There are times however where the person maybe busy with rl situations like work, family etc. Do probably wouldn't get back as quick. But I'm assuming the ones who ghost go on for months. If that is the case just think it's their loss and move on with keeping yourself happy.
St****

St****

Posted
  • Author
I do get that hun. And I also know my profile isn’t the best at selling me as a person but I’m very withdrawn and rubbish at writing profiles and lack confidence in myself.
Ky****

Ky****

Posted

sometimes it just takes time, some ppl can be off site for a while or have so many messages it takes a while

DominantGent__

DominantGent__

Posted
Yes, ppl can be rude. Ghosting is just low. Keep at it.

Deleted Member

Posted

It's one of the main reasons I can't be bothered with messaging anyone anymore

Charms

Charms

Posted

I'm so angry right now. I understand now why people don't read pms.

 

Yet again I got a pm . Not even saying hi. That I can deal with but no I got yet another rude 1. This 1 just told me he wants to fuck me in the ass.

 

I wonder how many women deal with it. Eatlyer in the night I got 1 who told me my profile made him think I was saying to him tie me up.fuk me an spank me an he wanted to own my ass

 

In fact my profile says I'm collard an owned.  I'm here to make freinds and I'm willing to chat but nothing sexual 

Ky****

Ky****

Posted

not sure charms, they do get scammers introing with similar messages and of course I get occasional pm s like that, but whether that counts I don't know, physically I'm still male, well apart from my cute little titties lol, even though mentally I'm identifying as female and ,despite advertising to be treated as such, I still get messages from gay/curious men who want to suck me and have me fuck them- guess it comes down to read our profiles

Ky****

Ky****

Posted
12 minutes ago, Strapon-me said:

Lets start sending em out lol

a friend on another site used to deal with them by redirecting to me, when she got the reply that's disgusting they're not gay she'd reply and if they read her profile they'd know what they'd asked wasn't her either, sauce for goose as well as gander lol

Deleted Member

Posted
Don't take it personally man. I'm only here a few days, and of all the women I've liked or messaged. Is seems like most profiles here aren't active ones. Either fake or not in use anymore.
ey****

ey****

Posted

A couple of tips, if I may.

You've been on the site on and off for years - but still don't have a written profile.

The first thing anyone sees on your profile is the BDSM test, which, honestly, nobody really cares about.

I can see your message stats and your send/receive ratio is pretty good especially over time 

I can't really judge on the quality of your messages - but a message that isn't responded to is usually either an "I'm not interested" or, well, may be an inactive profile.

For ghosting - as well as a whole bunch of reasons why someone might end up away from the site : sometimes conversations run it's course.  If you've been left on 'read' was there something reasonable left with the other person to respond to? Do you have enough rapport to follow up?

But, sadly, most conversations will end without the results you hoped for.

In a way, tying with another thread.  Patience is a virtue, that it is going to take time to find folk you really connect with.  But also your own continued improvement, which can include your own communication skills.

 

 

St****

St****

Posted
  • Author
I get that Blacksheep as for my profile I never know what to put or where to even start on these things it never comes across right
NorthernGinger

NorthernGinger

Posted
(edited)

It would help if you had pictures of your face. People generally would prefer to see your face so they know who they're talking too. I understand that might be hard for people to show their face but ultimately that will only hinder any datimg, connection within the bdsm world due to how intimate and hands on, physical it is in general. 

Edited by aqvilla
ey****

ey****

Posted
9 minutes ago, Strapon-me said:

I get that Blacksheep as for my profile I never know what to put or where to even start on these things it never comes across right

So, a good profile isn't going to massively change your fortunes, but a bad profile certainly can go against you.  And, well, you've been on the site for a while so there has been time to learn and experiment.  

There are a lot of guides on the internet about writing profiles, obviously a lot of these are rooted in vanilla dating - but a lot of stuff is transferable.  

 

Ju****

Ju****

Posted

Ok so this is my 2 cents..

 

I seen this and my heart sank a little. I am aware that you have private messaged me (simply and only about the dino thing, nothing rude or insulting). I NEVER really ever reply to messages of any kind now a days. It is very rare I do. I am aware I have probably seemed rude, (I don't know if you mean me or people in general but I know it happens a lot all over this site). I am sorry if my lack of response caused any kick to confidence or upset. This is just how I am 99% of the time on here and it is nothing personal. This is just a rule I set myself, to only chat personally to those I know and those of interest where there's a rapport established. 

 

As Charms mentioned above the horrible messages, I get a lot of that too and people just thinking i'm an object and over time it simply gores a "I can't be bothered to reply even to good ones." kind of mindset.

Now that is not an excuse from me but a very fed up reality. This is much why I prefer to get chatting to people in the Lobby and if a friendship or interest arises then I would take it privately.

 

On the flip side, I have also made the effort to make a first move, compliment or talk to someone first and been blanked, blocked ignored etc. Heck I was having a nice chat with a guy for a week or two and I went on my trip to England and he no thanks'd the conversation and I thought I was talking to a decent human being but seens it was probably one tracked for him and he got bored. So i always *** replying to people too I guess incase the likes of that keep happening.

 

But please do update your profile and put in what you are after and try to find some confidence and keep it up. You will connect with someone just right for you and you'll know when that happens. Never give up! Never blame yourself and I wish you all the best of luck for things to come!

 

 

Sirram2

Sirram2

Posted

I totally  understand your  position. I too have stopped pm people  . The reason  is that very one you send to  automatically  thinks something  nasty as to your reasons. That why  when nice   kind guys tend to  keep hidden . When they do  they are made out to be nasty and a bad guy. I know this from personal experience  that i was   accused  of something  i wasnt. Just remember not all pms are bad , you have to see the good in people too. 

St****

St****

Posted
  • Author
38 minutes ago, JenniferTP said:

Ok so this is my 2 cents..

 

I seen this and my heart sank a little. I am aware that you have private messaged me (simply and only about the dino thing, nothing rude or insulting). I NEVER really ever reply to messages of any kind now a days. It is very rare I do. I am aware I have probably seemed rude, (I don't know if you mean me or people in general but I know it happens a lot all over this site). I am sorry if my lack of response caused any kick to confidence or upset. This is just how I am 99% of the time on here and it is nothing personal. This is just a rule I set myself, to only chat personally to those I know and those of interest where there's a rapport established. 

 

As Charms mentioned above the horrible messages, I get a lot of that too and people just thinking i'm an object and over time it simply gores a "I can't be bothered to reply even to good ones." kind of mindset.

Now that is not an excuse from me but a very fed up reality. This is much why I prefer to get chatting to people in the Lobby and if a friendship or interest arises then I would take it privately.

 

On the flip side, I have also made the effort to make a first move, compliment or talk to someone first and been blanked, blocked ignored etc. Heck I was having a nice chat with a guy for a week or two and I went on my trip to England and he no thanks'd the conversation and I thought I was talking to a decent human being but seens it was probably one tracked for him and he got bored. So i always *** replying to people too I guess incase the likes of that keep happening.

 

But please do update your profile and put in what you are after and try to find some confidence and keep it up. You will connect with someone just right for you and you'll know when that happens. Never give up! Never blame yourself and I wish you all the best of luck for things to come!

 

 

Hi Jennifer no it wasnt aimed at you at any personal level and I apologise for making you feel bad it was just an at ppl in general Intend to get that am I invisible feeling now and again so was just asking in general or is it just me getting blanked on here.
Will how ever take what ppl have said to heart and try to reword my profile my only major flaw is I cant put up face pics due to my real world job

Ju****

Ju****

Posted
3 minutes ago, Strapon-me said:

Hi Jennifer no it wasnt aimed at you at any personal level and I apologise for making you feel bad it was just an at ppl in general Intend to get that am I invisible feeling now and again so was just asking in general or is it just me getting blanked on here.
Will how ever take what ppl have said to heart and try to reword my profile my only major flaw is I cant put up face pics due to my real world job

No no you didnt make me feel bad its just how i am and i felt for a moment that i may have affected someone by just not replying but that is just me for me.

 

try to slowly work on your confidence and be yourself. the right person who could come along will take u for u and when they do u can share personals like photos. 

they do help a profile but i get that not every can put them up either 

 

wishing you lots of luck and best wishes.

Sirram2

Sirram2

Posted

Had  more scammer attempts  . isnt it time that Ip addresses were banned  permanently

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