ko**** Posted 9 hours ago Does anyone else hyperfixate on people on like dating apps? Like can only think of one person that you really want? Well I do. And I just wanted to know if other people do as well. -------------------------- How do you manage and should you try and stop (or limit)
Eu**** Posted 6 hours ago this subject can become complex of course but let's see if i can help you at least reach to a understanding of some kind. Can you describe the last 3 times it happened?
ko**** Posted 6 hours ago Author 1 minute ago, EugenIsThriving said: this subject can become complex of course but let's see if i can help you at least reach to a understanding of some kind. Can you describe the last 3 times it happened? Only once for now
ld**** Posted 6 hours ago yeah, I do. As well, but I go back-and-forth between the apps because I’m looking for someone and there’s just a lot of scammers. I looked at your profile kookie. And yeah, there are guys out there like what you’re looking for submissive dudes who will be a home husband, if you’re the provider. I’m not saying I am cause that’s not me. I’m just saying I’ve seen it. You might also want to join Fetlife there’s a lot more submissive men on there.
Eu**** Posted 6 hours ago 8 minutes ago, kookiepookie said: Only once for now and what is the concern then? what do you think it would happen?
ko**** Posted 6 hours ago Author 1 minute ago, ldub_ladylvr said: yeah, I do. As well, but I go back-and-forth between the apps because I’m looking for someone and there’s just a lot of scammers. I looked at your profile kookie. And yeah, there are guys out there like what you’re looking for submissive dudes who will be a home husband, if you’re the provider. I’m not saying I am cause that’s not me. I’m just saying I’ve seen it. You might also want to join Fetlife there’s a lot more submissive men on there. Thank you so much!
je**** Posted 6 hours ago I get so little interest from others that if I hyper fixated on just one I’d never match anyone
Wo**** Posted 6 hours ago Depends I feel like I hold multiple conversations cause you gotta weed people out. No point in fixating your time and energy into a bad match aye?
Ju**** Posted 6 hours ago Can't say that I do at least not here. Of course I won't consider this a dating app but I understand the general idea of your question I haven't been on a dating app and a long time
No**** Posted 6 hours ago Definitely tend to hyperfixate on one person if something with them clicks just right... I'll still talk to other people and might be interested in them too, but the hyperfixation on that one person can get pretty intense sometimes
Si**** Posted 6 hours ago I'm struggling with this right now and honestly the best thing you can do is just take some space from said app. Delete it for a few hours or so and try and distract yourself. It doesn't work the best but it's better than spamming them or constantly thinking about them to the point that you overly-obsess.
No**** Posted 6 hours ago 31 minutes ago, PuppiMutt said: I don't think that's very healthy 😅 For me, it's mostly an ADHD-thing, so it's not really like I consciously obsess over that person... more like a song you got stuck in your head and can't get out no matter what you try, so you have to listen to it on repeat until you brain has had enough of it lol
bl**** Posted 5 hours ago What is the reason you are fixated on this one person? Is it that you want to date her or is he/she your ex or is it because you like their face / body etc. what’s the reason?
Le**** Posted 5 hours ago Ugh limerence can be a bitch, been there! What helps me in managing it is finding some other aspect of life to hyperfocus on. Hobbies, going out, journaling, etc. Also limiting how much you interact with your limerant object helps bunches!
wi**** Posted 4 hours ago I think adoring someone is one thing. Thinking about them all the time.. sure new connections are exciting. Adhd obsession that is a tricky one. I dont mind being obsessed about when the attraction is there. But to consider it a hyperfixation which is defined as a intense, prolonged focus. often to the exclusion of basic needs and daily responsibilities. Thats dangerous. Too close to "it takes the lotion from the basket" type. No judgements but women ive talked to are scared of men behaving in that way. U might want to delete the app and meditate or something.
Ne**** Posted 4 hours ago I mean, hyperfixation is my part of my personality. I’m also an otome gamer, so my expectations have skyrocketed drastically and I’m still trying to maintain it, since there’s no one that can compare to my favorite fictional men.
ge**** Posted 4 hours ago On an app... No. Not healthy. Put it down. Unrequited where it is not being nurtured as a mutual obsession... No. Again, put it doen and do not allow yourself to obsess. On a real person, developing and carefully building intentional and aware degress of mutual obsession is arguably the very best part of the practice. You must understand that obsession is a vulnerability and vulnerability must come with trust and trust has to be built and nurtured and co-developed. This is why bdsm and the lifestyle is referred to as a practice. It is not a material thing that you have or don't have. Similarly a dom or a sub is not a thing that you have or don't have (although sometimes we will use ownership language as part of the fantasy). Rather, a d/s relationship is something that you practice and the stronger your practice, the safer the space that you have established, the stronger forms of fixation and obsession you can experience... and similarly when you are out of practice you have to again start from where you are and operate from there and build up again from there (not from where you previously were with that person). Like many elements of the practice, caution must be quite seriously exercised in all of this because while elements of psychological dependency and power can be deeply fulfilling, exciting and powerful, they can also be emotionally devastating and they can also be ***d (as if we havent all heard of someone going crazy over a lover because they became obsessed... indeed there are plenty of cases where people can even commit *** over a lover). In the practice, you must learn how to go completely into the space while also preserving a superposition of yourself that watches from the outside and will preserve your sense of self no matter what. The other person may be ***d to withdraw for any reason (this you cannot control absolutely no matter what), the other person may fail in the practice and may begin to *** even without realizing it (again something you cannot control or every fully guarantee) and so you must always be prepared to safely exit the space or be ejected from the space and accept and endure that ***/trauma of doing so if/when it occurs. Again, this is where strength, courage, and rigor within the practice will allow you to go deeper. Proceed with great care, intention, and caution.
wi**** Posted 4 hours ago 5 minutes ago, gentleman_in_nyc said: On an app... No. Not healthy. Put it down. Unrequited where it is not being nurtured as a mutual obsession... No. Again, put it doen and do not allow yourself to obsess. On a real person, developing and carefully building intentional and aware degress of mutual obsession is arguably the very best part of the practice. You must understand that obsession is a vulnerability and vulnerability must come with trust and trust has to be built and nurtured and co-developed. This is why bdsm and the lifestyle is referred to as a practice. It is not a material thing that you have or don't have. Similarly a dom or a sub is not a thing that you have or don't have (although sometimes we will use ownership language as part of the fantasy). Rather, a d/s relationship is something that you practice and the stronger your practice, the safer the space that you have established, the stronger forms of fixation and obsession you can experience... and similarly when you are out of practice you have to again start from where you are and operate from there and build up again from there (not from where you previously were with that person). Like many elements of the practice, caution must be quite seriously exercised in all of this because while elements of psychological dependency and power can be deeply fulfilling, exciting and powerful, they can also be emotionally devastating and they can also be ***d (as if we havent all heard of someone going crazy over a lover because they became obsessed... indeed there are plenty of cases where people can even commit *** over a lover). In the practice, you must learn how to go completely into the space while also preserving a superposition of yourself that watches from the outside and will preserve your sense of self no matter what. The other person may be ***d to withdraw for any reason (this you cannot control absolutely no matter what), the other person may fail in the practice and may begin to *** even without realizing it (again something you cannot control or every fully guarantee) and so you must always be prepared to safely exit the space or be ejected from the space and accept and endure that ***/trauma of doing so if/when it occurs. Again, this is where strength, courage, and rigor within the practice will allow you to go deeper. Proceed with great care, intention, and caution. 100 percent agree well put
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