Desire for our male subs

[Se****]

Lets share a litlle.
Recently seen a post on here from a male perspective about their wish to be actively desired by a partner.
As a Domme I find it very obvious that my desire for person who submits in a play is essential to get an instense intimate connection for the scene we might share.
I want him to follow me with his gaze, all focused, reserved but desperate for a touch at the same time. Love to try a CFNM scenario for example where he would let me do things to him while I am wearing my office attire and he has nothing on.
Dommes, can you share a thing or two that physically or mentally excites your desire for your sub?
Also would be great to hear from the other side of the room, - submissive men, do you feel significantly different if a Domme states that she wants you here and now, or is being dismissed and unwanted a part of the excitement?

[Deleted Member]

It definitely helps the experience to be wanted, at least for me

[wa****]

Being a sissy and working with the Daddy Bear. Of course being submissive any positive attention is always good. But as any good gurl knows that Daddy Bear is done either for the time being, the dismissive attitude is necessary at times. I think it’s more of a senerio by senario descision.

[La****]

Similar with you actually!
I love to showcasing my sub/doll. So they could just be sitting quietly, looking good with the outfit I picked for them. Sitting in a very obedient manner while always have their attention on me. Looking with such admiration and also neediness for validation. You can sense the puppy eyes from afar.
And it always makes me feral internally when their body is very reactive with just a simple touch. You could tell they want more with the dense slow breathing and deep gaze they’d be given you. All of that while they need to hold themselves most of the time. Yum.

[ow****]

As a switch whenever I’m being dommed her dismissing me or craving me provides completely different senses of being turned on~ although I’m a sucker for attention so I may prefer the latter

[ch****]

As a Submissive. The most extreme emotional responses come from my Miss Walking away or denying me, then coming back and taking me like a wild ***. To be ignored or pushed to the side or denied attention, then to come back later and tell and show me how she desires me is intense and makes me want and to please my Goddess more than ever. The incredible intimacy of this dynamic is powerful and not soon forgotten by either and makes me and shall I say her, want more and more.

I miss that so much. My Miss of 32 years passed away and now I am searching for my new Mistress.

[Ki****]

I'm a switch who leans more submissive in these last few years. I can't find a Domme even though I have tried, searched, inquired, been so hopeful that I had finally found one, they turned out to be a fake, more or less a scam. Sadly a long with a few others. But I can tell you that for me personally, not only did everything you mentioned or talked about in your post was absolute dreams of mine (uggghh the CFNM example 🥴🥵🫪😵‍💫🫨🍆💦💦💦), but definitely would be significantly much more into her demanding she wants me there, and NOW 🥵🥴🍆. That my ideal type of domme. I wish I had a real domme, like you, that I could worship and be infatuated with. I'm starting to lose hope that will ever happen for me.

[woodyyvr]

I concur with the above so many scams fakes and others thst tease you along playing with your feelings and leave you just feeling hopeless. I want a Domme that wants me. Wants me there worshiping Her submitting to Her. Maybe its a lost cause to have eye contact anymore I dont know... being dismissed and alone doesnt do anyrhing for me perse but my experience level is also far to low to be considered for more than just myself.

[Ne****]

I've always found the sub domme dynamic mentally stimulating... I love when a Domme needs pleasing or entertaining & instructs / directs me as her instrument to achieve this goal... I love mental / verbal domination, degredation. To be ignored or shunned is frustrating for a sub and I lose interest pretty quickly if this is their approach. I personally think the Sub Domme lifestyle provides me with a purpose to exist... I think most Dommes realise they can monetize their skills which makes it hard to find ones doing it purely for their pleasure.... Being a virtual sub does nothing at all for me, I need the physical touch, taste, scent to stimulate me senses. I did do Cfnm in the form of a naked slave serving a Mistress & her friend tea & cake once & enjoyed the exhibitionism / *** aspect greatly....

[Le****]

Never had the chance to be a sub because I can't find a real Dom. It's either someone immediately asking for *** to even speak or someone that just doesn't have it in them and I end up being dominant without wanting it or trying.

But if I could I'd like her to show or tell me she wants me, treat me like an obedient dog

[Ki****]

The last three comments have nailed the frustrating world of being sub leaning male in this lifestyle today. You guys not only elaborated on what I was trying to get accross in my message, but also thought of/ mentioned so much I had forgot to say. It is comforting in a way to know that I'm not alone in this, but also discouraging in another way because if it's like this across the board, then are my ***s correct in the chances of finding an actual real Domme, especially one who hasn't already found her sub/ s, just as rare, if not even more so than I've ***ed?

[ey****]

I guess, I'm in a position where I end up doing a lot of play for one reason or another. And yes there is an active difference between someone who is looking forward to it, versus someone where it's "Just" play.   

I have found that there are Dommes I know look forward to things who are still themselves on a style of being reserved about initiating arranging things. Perhaps there would be an excitement if there was suddenly a ping or phone or inbox which was "Blacksheep, it's been too long - when you available to get your ass to me" but it's simply not their style and that's fine

[Se****]

10 hours ago, Lady_King said:

Similar with you actually!
I love to showcasing my sub/doll. So they could just be sitting quietly, looking good with the outfit I picked for them. Sitting in a very obedient manner while always have their attention on me. Looking with such admiration and also neediness for validation. You can sense the puppy eyes from afar.
And it always makes me feral internally when their body is very reactive with just a simple touch. You could tell they want more with the dense slow breathing and deep gaze they’d be given you. All of that while they need to hold themselves most of the time. Yum.

Feeling feral is a great description! I love the idea of having a man as an obedient toy to myself, as long as I can feel he consents to it and desperately wants more. It ignites some primal joy and desire. Also a collar on a favorite pet, mmm😎

[FL****]

Yeah, I think that’s my biggest kink. I wanna be actually wanted and it’s next to impossible in today’s society because you don’t have to validate a dude. You can just go online and get another one every day. And many of you choose to do that because it seems like connection is lost. Everybody says they want this connection but then soon as they get it they’re like ok now I wanna see if I can get another connection and move up or move over or move wherever never happy with where they’re at I think that’s what I desire most is someone that’s actually content and happy with what they have and I have and what we can build

[ey****]

2 minutes ago, FLACman said:

it’s next to impossible in today’s society because you don’t have to validate a dude. You can just go online and get another one every day. And many of you choose to do that because it seems like connection is lost.

Reality is nothing has ultimately changed.   

We go back 40, 50, 60, years more and people got together more through necessity.  Women couldn't have a bank account without their husbands consent, so no husband = no bank whilst men often needed to be seen as being a "family man" for jobs and careers - so a lot of relationships built not through desire but through a "you'll do" and most relationships lasted when it became a "you will HAVE to do" - it's why a lot of the whole boomer comics are based around men sitting in the pub instead of going home to the wife, whilst complainings about "Her indoors" 

People didn't stay together cos they were madly in love and lust - but cos there wasn't really a lot of options

So cos of that, yeah, women don't have to settle for "you'll do" and don't need to continue any form of engagement with someone they're uncertain with, especially if they do seem to be hitting it off better with someone else.  Mind, we have to be honest... the same applies to guys.   Those who message out to multiple people are already playing the field, and all it takes is for more than one to reply and you/they have to at some point make a choice.

The main thing of course on 'connection' is that... a lot of men trick themselves into think there's a connection that doesn't exist. When the other person goes "you know what, this isn't working" and stops the convo, goes onto someone else, whatever - they never felt the connection - it existed purely in the other persons mind.   The connection was merely the other persons projection

The main issue of course, is relying on validation anyway.  Though, in a world where women don't have to settle for any random loser, someone even wanting to spend time with you at all has to be a form of validation, no?

[la****]

I’ve served my mistress for 3 years now in a live in situation , we have seperate everything but when we both at home I’ll hear her say thins to me n I know to get undressed n ou collars on! I love when I’m being told to get into a position she wants me in! Coz then I know whst she’s guna do to me

[Sa****]

I Love that. When my submissive & I are are finally together, I will be arranging the scenes, prepping the toys & what he wears etc. Also I will be getting the playlist ready, switching up songs depending on the mood

[FL****]

27 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Reality is nothing has ultimately changed.   

We go back 40, 50, 60, years more and people got together more through necessity.  Women couldn't have a bank account without their husbands consent, so no husband = no bank whilst men often needed to be seen as being a "family man" for jobs and careers - so a lot of relationships built not through desire but through a "you'll do" and most relationships lasted when it became a "you will HAVE to do" - it's why a lot of the whole boomer comics are based around men sitting in the pub instead of going home to the wife, whilst complainings about "Her indoors" 

People didn't stay together cos they were madly in love and lust - but cos there wasn't really a lot of options

So cos of that, yeah, women don't have to settle for "you'll do" and don't need to continue any form of engagement with someone they're uncertain with, especially if they do seem to be hitting it off better with someone else.  Mind, we have to be honest... the same applies to guys.   Those who message out to multiple people are already playing the field, and all it takes is for more than one to reply and you/they have to at some point make a choice.

The main thing of course on 'connection' is that... a lot of men trick themselves into think there's a connection that doesn't exist. When the other person goes "you know what, this isn't working" and stops the convo, goes onto someone else, whatever - they never felt the connection - it existed purely in the other persons mind.   The connection was merely the other persons projection

The main issue of course, is relying on validation anyway.  Though, in a world where women don't have to settle for any random loser, someone even wanting to spend time with you at all has to be a form of validation, no?

You understand what I’m saying obviously however you don’t get the damage obviously you’re seeing it as in. Oh that’s great. They get to have their happiness one of the most unhappy people I know who has never settled and never will find happiness, their mother’s quote to them was “ whatever makes you happy” and that’s exactly what they do at the expense of others and everything else constantly looking for the next best thing when you can’t appreciate what you have and you’re constantly searching, which is what you have today because even if they’re not sending the DM‘s they’re getting them and they’re looking whether they wanna admit it or not. They’re looking if they like the guy or think he looks cuter mysterious they’re going to look what kind of world are we living in? I mean we’re gonna have to live in a world where we are just gonna accept that we’re gonna eventually get cheated on her left because we’re gonna get sick or be the lesser person. Something’s gonna happen to us. We’re gonna have a week time we’re gonna have a family member die. We’re not gonna be able to handle a bill sometimes those types of things happen to us all the time and we’re constantly being left because of them all the time. This tells me that when given an option to make decisions on their own completely, they will choose their feelings over anything family whatever it may be that’s not good decision-making basis that’s not adult decision-making basis, but that’s how most of them actually make decisions based on their feelings and what they desire and what at the time they will blow up 20 3040 years of marriage because they have a feeling 90% of the time they regret it the feminine movement and the way you’re viewing their freedoms isn’t freeing them. It’s not doing any good for them. They’re not happy. They’re on more antidepressants now than ever. They are not happy. Why because they’re completely focused on the next big thing they can’t ever fucking be satisfied you cannot appreciate what you have therefore, you can’t be satisfied therefore you can’t be happy happiness love all of that comes from Service and sacrifice. Those are the investments you put into something to appreciate it if you don’t have that you will not have happiness so you’ve got a lot of women with a lot of options and you think they’re happy and free while they’re free but they’re not happy and that’s just the truth even the ones in the lifestyle out here running around having a ball all the time go home and sit alone online they’re having the time of their life. I’ve talk to many of them when they get home.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, FLACman said:

 

You understand what I’m saying obviously however you don’t get the damage obviously you’re seeing it as in. Oh that’s great. They get to have their happiness one of the most unhappy people I know who has never settled and never will find happiness, their mother’s quote to them was “ whatever makes you happy” and that’s exactly what they do at the expense of others and everything else constantly looking for the next best thing when you can’t appreciate what you have and you’re constantly searching, which is what you have today because even if they’re not sending the DM‘s they’re getting them and they’re looking whether they wanna admit it or not. They’re looking if they like the guy or think he looks cuter mysterious they’re going to look what kind of world are we living in? I mean we’re gonna have to live in a world where we are just gonna accept that we’re gonna eventually get cheated on her left because we’re gonna get sick or be the lesser person. Something’s gonna happen to us. We’re gonna have a week time we’re gonna have a family member die. We’re not gonna be able to handle a bill sometimes those types of things happen to us all the time and we’re constantly being left because of them all the time. This tells me that when given an option to make decisions on their own completely, they will choose their feelings over anything family whatever it may be that’s not good decision-making basis that’s not adult decision-making basis, but that’s how most of them actually make decisions based on their feelings and what they desire and what at the time they will blow up 20 3040 years of marriage because they have a feeling 90% of the time they regret it the feminine movement and the way you’re viewing their freedoms isn’t freeing them. It’s not doing any good for them. They’re not happy. They’re on more antidepressants now than ever. They are not happy. Why because they’re completely focused on the next big thing they can’t ever fucking be satisfied you cannot appreciate what you have therefore, you can’t be satisfied therefore you can’t be happy happiness love all of that comes from Service and sacrifice. Those are the investments you put into something to appreciate it if you don’t have that you will not have happiness so you’ve got a lot of women with a lot of options and you think they’re happy and free while they’re free but they’re not happy and that’s just the truth even the ones in the lifestyle out here running around having a ball all the time go home and sit alone online they’re having the time of their life. I’ve talk to many of them when they get home.

You're doing a lot of projecting. You're also making up scenarios in your head and then getting mad about them.

Though in the 'whatever makes you happy' - that's apt. Does the other person make you happy? If not, why are you with them?  Do you make the other person happy...?  OK, so what do you think will happen...?

 

[Zu****]

As a submissive man I appreactie both sides of I want you here now and denial. Just because the domme wants me doesn’t turn anything away. More about being commanded than anything else yknow. More of hey we’re gonna do this scene I really want to do if at anytime you uncomfortable let me know. Idk use me for what you want. I won’t be scared to say my limits

[So****]

As a submissive man, I think I'm far more enamored with a show of desire, though I believe that has far more to do with my personal experiences. I suppose it's different for everyone, on a case by case basis. If I confide in a Domme that I hypothetically suffered abandonment, neglect, and years of physical *** as a child, I hope that Domme I'm confiding in provides warmth, comfort, and a presence that actually makes me feel welcome

[aa****]

Having it drawn out is part of the excitement but knowing a powerful woman in control wants me makes the surrender and vulnerability all the more easy to surrender to someone. Bonus on the office attire, that is such a turn on

[Valaya]

Domme in TPE FLR- I find the pleasure in seeing my sub experience the fantasy he has been dreaming about come to fulfillment. I appreciate the vulnerability, trust and support my sub offers me with direct, clear communication.

[woodyyvr]

35 minutes ago, Valaya said:

Domme in TPE FLR- I find the pleasure in seeing my sub experience the fantasy he has been dreaming about come to fulfillment. I appreciate the vulnerability, trust and support my sub offers me with direct, clear communication.

This exactly why is this so rare so hard to find? Ok this may take time of course and I am more than with that but I dont think the average Domme reallnis ok with that :(

[ey****]

4 hours ago, woodyyvr said:

 

This exactly why is this so rare so hard to find? Ok this may take time of course and I am more than with that but I dont think the average Domme reallnis ok with that

it's not as rare as it seems.  It's just in the instances which exist, folk see the end product and not the time, work and sacrifice that goes with it.

Folk, particularly male subs, want the end product whilst underestimating the time, work and sacrifice they'll need to put in - and then find a way to somehow blame it on the Dommes for not giving them what they want. Which, ironically, goes against FLR and TPE.

The reason a lot of women/Dommes are often resistant to FLR/TPE/etc is it often is presented to them, or plays out, as being more work/responsibility for less/little reward.  More would be interested if it actually benefited them.  Part of the reason is there's a lot of stuff men do as standard, and take for granted they find difficult in letting go of.  Everything from control of the TV remote to final authority on household decisions.  It's not the Dommes that are the rarity in this equation.