Desire for our male subs

[Valaya]

21 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

it's not as rare as it seems.  It's just in the instances which exist, folk see the end product and not the time, work and sacrifice that goes with it.

Folk, particularly male subs, want the end product whilst underestimating the time, work and sacrifice they'll need to put in - and then find a way to somehow blame it on the Dommes for not giving them what they want. Which, ironically, goes against FLR and TPE.

The reason a lot of women/Dommes are often resistant to FLR/TPE/etc is it often is presented to them, or plays out, as being more work/responsibility for less/little reward.  More would be interested if it actually benefited them.  Part of the reason is there's a lot of stuff men do as standard, and take for granted they find difficult in letting go of.  Everything from control of the TV remote to final authority on household decisions.  It's not the Dommes that are the rarity in this equation. 

100% agree with this. It is precisely this

[woodyyvr]

8 hours ago, Valaya said:

100% agree with this. It is precisely this

I realized after I posted that your situation if it being your husband of many years obviously helps.
As an outsider and single person looking in I am at a much more disadvantaged starting point.
I am so so new to all of this and learning but making somewhat uneducated posts like this but realizing and learning from them is part if it.

[woodyyvr]

Yesterday at 03:30 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

it's not as rare as it seems.  It's just in the instances which exist, folk see the end product and not the time, work and sacrifice that goes with it.

Folk, particularly male subs, want the end product whilst underestimating the time, work and sacrifice they'll need to put in - and then find a way to somehow blame it on the Dommes for not giving them what they want. Which, ironically, goes against FLR and TPE.

The reason a lot of women/Dommes are often resistant to FLR/TPE/etc is it often is presented to them, or plays out, as being more work/responsibility for less/little reward.  More would be interested if it actually benefited them.  Part of the reason is there's a lot of stuff men do as standard, and take for granted they find difficult in letting go of.  Everything from control of the TV remote to final authority on household decisions.  It's not the Dommes that are the rarity in this equation. 

Yes your response makes sense very much makes sense and after posting I realized her starting point of her husband gave her an advantage etc. Thank you for your well thought out response I am so new and late coming into this I need to try and be less impatient :)

[ey****]

5 hours ago, woodyyvr said:

 

Yes your response makes sense very much makes sense and after posting I realized her starting point of her husband gave her an advantage etc. Thank you for your well thought out response I am so new and late coming into this I need to try and be less impatient

there's bits kinda interesting... and some of this is slightly off-topic, but it does have an overall point. But, if you're a single guy and you see a married couple that look kinda smitten, you might think "wow, that's the kinda relationship I want!" and we kinda all know how this works - that you might meet someone, date, move in, so on.   And it'd be absurd to just go to someone we're chatting to in a bar, or messaging online in a first or early message "I want to move in and get married" even if it might be something we'd want long term; but many fall flat applying this same logic in kink. I want to be owned, I want a FLR, I want a TPE, etc.  

Of course, perhaps many feel/*** that they might get 6 months into a relationship and raise they want these things and be told "no" and wonder what to do with themselves .   Though, ironically, if it's a no that can't be respected, the guy wasn't ready for TPE/FLR/Femdom/ownership/etc anyway.   

I guess to be more on topic. I guess a lot in desire is also a mindset.  When I was younger I worked in a bar, and at the time Ricky Martin was doing well in the charts, and there was a semi regular guy who had a similar look.  I remember overhearing a lady in the bar, who was also somewhat regular who had noticed him a few times as they were both regular, "ooh, he can shake my pepperpot any time" which I possibly remember as it being such an odd thing to say. But hey ho. And I know guys do this to women a lot in bars, look at someone and be "ooh, hello...." and I can get the notion of wanting to be someone someone looks at and goes "ooh, hello..." though I find a lot, outside of a bar situation and all that goes with it a lot of our admirers are often quite quiet about it (even if we'd like them to be more vocal, especially if we have our own esteem issues that we pin on validation rather than anything more meaningful) I find mind, with behaviours brings more desire - showing you're the type of person people want to be around