Should i take a step back?

[za****]

Ive been talking for the last week with a girl, i like her we go along quite well our messages are really long...like 4 paragraphs in one text alot of things we like to talk about. Now its been a week and she sent me a message today about how her day was and she opened up about having really good sex last night...now im thinking why is she sharing this? Is it cos i briefly mentioned about my cuck kink? It was her 1st time penetrative sex but from what i know she also did somethink quite kinky in a graveyard few weeks before. Is it even worth chasing her now? Or am i thinking too emotionally?

[de****]

Be bold tell her you’re feelings if she doesn’t feel the same way move on there are plenty of fish in the sea. If she agrees that her feelings are real than discussed with her the fact that you’re not OK with her having sex while you’re talking just be open and honest about things.

[po****]

She ain’t interested mate. She’s keeping you on a shoestring. I’m sorry if that sounds too blunt but it’s the truth from my own experiences

[ea****]

Honestly, you should ask her why she brought that up. Instead of trying to get direction from strangers. And i'm not trying to knock on you, bro. Just be direct, be honest, it's the best way forward.

[Do****]

Lots to unpack here. First thing is you guys have only been talking, she’s free and clear to go and do whatever with whomever, whenever. Same for you until you both progress things and establish boundaries.

Second: You gotta learn to communicate with her and speak to your boundaries. She’s not in the wrong here but your feelings of discomfort are also valid. A simple “hey while we’re still getting to know one another, if you decide to go on a date or proceed to do anything physical with someone else, I don’t want to be in the know, it’s not my business but also I don’t like hearing about it.” Communicate your feelings and tell her your boundaries so you aren’t made to feel shitty.

You guys have only been talking for a week. You aren’t exclusive, you aren’t anything. You’re only talking. To expect someone to not be talking or engaging with others after only a week of conversation is completely ridiculous and unrealistic. It’s safe to assume that never having met someone, never having gone on a date and talking for a week they’re going to be entertaining and talking to others. So should you!

In short, you have too many expectations on someone you’ve only talked to for a week my guy. You gotta learn and figure out how to communicate to progress forward

[Deleted Member]

It depends on what you are looking for. Are you looking for a girlfriend or just someone to hookup with? If she is sleeping with different guys right now, I don't think she is looking for something serious. Also if she told you about her sexual encounters she probably isnt interested in a serious relationship with you.

Unless there is more to this, I would say don't chase her it will only cause frustration and misery

[So****]

The kinky graveyard thing screams "I read this on a blog", though it could be real. Ask more questions

[ey****]

The answers to all of your questions can only be answered by her

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Have you clearly identified boundaries of your online situation? Have you identified what you are both looking for at all? If she has no foundation other than a verbal dialogue of things you both like and have in common then she will keep pursuing alternatives to get the physical needs met while you meet her emotional needs. My vote is to have a clear conversation about where you want this situation to go with her and if you're not on the same page make your decision accordingly. Without clear communication and boundaries no relationship - friend, kink, or vanilla - is able to survive. But this is my professional therapist voice talking and you can take that with whatever sincerity you wish. Good luck!

[Deleted Member]

lmfao jus forget it bro. If she’s smashing other guys and not tryn link w u… well

[Ba****]

You may wanna have a discussion about intentions, expectations and boundaries with her
I can’t tell you what she is thinking, just that most people don’t tend to share their intimate experiences directly with random strangers, so while it’s possible that your stated interest in cuckoldry may have been part of it i assume the multi paragraph back and forth of it all as a whole was the bigger factor
But you‘ll have to ask her to find out whether she told you to stimulate your imagination or if she just wanted to tell someone and thought you‘d listen

[FA****]

If your getting ghosted or she isn't giving you equal time, energy and attention then you say a minimum should talk to her and ask if they're l their is an issue or not. Second I met someone on here that made me change allot but she did this same thing where we went from talking allot then feeling like she didn't have any time by choice. I stuck around and I was in a relationship and so was she. The night I was ***d to make the choice I chose her and by the morning she left me. So beer careful out there, I was born to take *** and grow from not everyone is built that way. Don't let it effect especially the texting shit as healthy communication is very hard to find.

[FA****]

I ran head first, jumped blind then lost but the women I left wanted to work it so if they can't communicate or three level of communication isn't what your wanting, say something asking for it to be changed and if she doesn't them walk.

[Da****]

You’re thinking too emotionally, it’s normal but unrealistic to expect anything from someone you’ve spoke to for so little time.

She probably mentioned the sex assuming you would be into it, if you’ve mentioned the cuckholding kink?

But you’re not dating or exclusive or really serious right now just because there’s been a week of dopamine hits 😅

Commicate that you aren’t comfortable hearing about her sex life or advert the subject entirely ?

[T3****]

This is probably a great way to get her to block you.

[JW****]

Yes; she IS her own separate entity. A western citizen and an individual hopefully ensconced in a nation in which she has the ability to express every Liberty she is afforded.

Less unpacking than initially thought. Because -knowing the two of you have been chatting for a few days and presumably about some sort of possible future relation- she found it appropriate to share with you you really awesome things about her freedom to do what she wants like really satisfying sex with some other people.

She feels very comfortable with you, doesn't she? Well, it's good she does things in the spirit of full disclosure.

yeah. she has done nothing wrong. but I think that modernity coupled with echo chamberism have combined for women in uniquely disturbing behavioral ways.

maybe I'm wrong but unless we are all living in the fictional future as portrayed in that great movie Logan's Run, it just doesn't sit well with me. I'm trying to imagine myself as a woman who's been chatting with you or someone else for a few days now. and the next day I think I'm going to have another conversation with some man I feel like I like. and in our conversation that next day, he starts telling me about some girl who knocked his Sox off with her incredible sex.

What?!?

is this guy even reading the room that were both in? what makes this even worse in my mind is that this guy is oblivious to the fact that he has to actually set his inbox up with so many filters because he gets so many girls writing to him that I was even lucky to talk to him. do you know why? because he doesn't really have a good job he's someone I find attractive kind of but she's really not a knockout he was telling me about some graveyard sex last week and meanwhile I'm an average chick I got a job I live okay and I'm a decent person. but really this guy was like you only guy who even would enter into a conversation with me in the last two weeks. my pictures look okay. I didn't write anything crazy in my freaking profile and here I am trying to figure out why me you know maybe a five or six with makeup on but not ugly can only have one conversation that I thought was going well with a guy who talked about graveyard sex and then this morning is talking to me about some chick who has two vaginas or something. where am I going along in my life?

I think some previous comments just mentioned something about learning how to communicate with her better. you might have sounded to us like a little bit reticent in your approach or now I'm sure about how you are handling it which is a totally typical thing for me to do. okay what am I doing wrong how can I fix what my grab a wrench tighten it up get a level make sure all the springs work fix it because that's what I do when in reality you probably communicating with her just fine. but she is somehow entered the chamber of obliviousness and stretched perspective.

I'm not going to yuck somebody else's yum in the suggestion box department and so as a person of responsibility and accountability I recommend that you review your communication palette.

and is my humble opinion that you you take that improved palette and apply it to something else. again I could be wrong but man the woman has two vaginas? how can I compete with his mind and what he thinks he's worth?

[fe****]

First let's start off with you have only been talking for a week, through text only from what I gathered. That's not something someone commits to being exclusive with you're just a conversation at this point. Either push forward to meeting in person and seeing if the chemistry is just as good or better in person, or accept the fact that as long as you're still just talking. Until you make a move to take it to another level of something more serious she's going to see other people, which also means you could do the same.

[ja****]

I know that it's 100% of the women and unfortunately way too many of the sad men who are going to take the woman's side in this, but I think it's absolutely f**king gross when a woman who you're talking to who knows you're interested tells you she's getting laid. It's incredibly in poor taste at the very least

[al****]

This is also a fetish dating app man, so just remember you’re only just messaging right now and nothing between you and her are in stone. Obviously it’s hitting you differently, but to so many more men & women that on here this can be considered a normal conversation.

[mo****]

At least she’s being honest with you and you should be honest with her about what you feel. And your limits( if you were to have an intimate relationship.) I find it’s always a touchy subject when being in an open relationship. Takes a special type of person to be ok with letting there partner sleep with other people.

I’ve had a couple open relationships and I’m the kind of person who doesn’t wanna hear about the amazing sex they had last night. So ask no questions. Hear no lies.

F**k this is a loaded topic and I’m rambling. I’m just gonna say. Boundaries. Honestly loyalty and respect. Are the foundation of a good relationship. In my opinion. Just don’t get caught in the friends zone.

[ja****]

1 hour ago, alilxcitement said:

This is also a fetish dating app man, so just remember you’re only just messaging right now and nothing between you and her are in stone. Obviously it’s hitting you differently, but to so many more men & women that on here this can be considered a normal conversation.

Sure but here's the problem with that attitude, it's a fetish site until a guy accidentally says something that's 1% offensive to a woman and suddenly she's screeching about how she didn't consent to his comment or some BS

[Ro****]

Do you trust her and does she trusynuoun

[We****]

Sounds like a conversation about boundaries and intentions needs to be had.

[ey****]

9 hours ago, norfolk86424 said:

lmfao jus forget it bro. If she’s smashing other guys and not tryn link w u… well

Under normally circumstances I *might* agree, though it depends on context of messaging and relationships - like a difference between made it clear wants to meet and seems like there's time for everyone except them, and like, if the conversation is genuinely enjoyable then why actually push out a potential friend?

However...  the OP mentioned in his post, and to her, that he has a cuck kink.

Now, I aint saying this means she behaved perfectly, especially depending on what prior discussions there were.  But... (a) she might not have even had sex the night before, and simply mentioning she had in line with his kink. (or might have had, and, similar) (b) Actually, on reflection on this - our OP might find he doesn't have a cuck kink after all.     Cos, if he had a cuck kink, then this lady he is talking to is absolutely perfect for him.  

So maybe he might need to re-evaluate

[Al****]

You're in the friend zone .ate