When do you stop trying?

[Ti****]

Communication is a two-way street. I'm all out of sympathy.

[Nylon-Nellie]

You have to think of yourself, no ifs or buts. Since the connection is lost, no point in trying to reconnect no matter how much you want it back.

I had the connection online, we took it offline and it went pear shape within hours of parting company and I had no warning whatsoever until I chased him for answers as to why the connection was lost. Took me a very long time to get back to where I am today.

You need to deal with it move on, no good grasping at straws.

[Th****]

So much can be sorted out with very clear and direct communication. Have you asked them directly what they want? Have you told them directly what you want? 

[ey****]

23 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

So much can be sorted out with very clear and direct communication. Have you asked them directly what they want? Have you told them directly what you want? 

I feel this is a good point also.  If you feel things are getting stagnant but aren't sure whether to give up.  Don't try to prod into small talk or beat around, like just outright ask.

I think one of the things about the whole "connection" thing - like... especially online people often trick themselves into thinking there is something there that isn't.  They get a little dopamine hit when the other person replies and confuse it for something else.  There was no connection. You just enjoyed the interactions.  This doesn't mean it was mutual.  There was no lost connection, cos there wasn't one there.

If it seems someone is not replying often enough, or is hard work, or isn't giving the responses you'd like.   It might actually be they actually have a life and aren't available online chronically.  It also might be that they don't particularly feel a connection but are interested enough to give somewhat of a response.

You don't have to wait for them to no longer respond.

[Daddy4You01]

I still dream often of my lost other. I feel that I will never truly let go of her. I still love her with all of my heart. My heart still skips a beat every time I think of her. I remember fondly the little things. The smell of her perfume, the way she looked at me as if I was the only man in the world, the way she made even the most mundane trip to the grocery store an adventure. I pray that somewhere in the ether there are versions of us still happily together. Dreaming of the *** we once named and still very much in love. She is my soul mate and my twin flame. And without her I will forever feel that a piece of me is gone.

So the short answer is never. The long answer is that this love I’m describing was a once in a lifetime love for me. And perhaps true healing can never occur in this life. Perhaps I will have to wait for the next life and/or whenever this mirror of a soul is allowed to enter my orbit once more. The only thing I can do in the present is try to forgive myself and be ready if EVER I get one more chance to set things right.

[to****]

Not trying to sound like a jerk.. but my grandfather once told me to “sh*t in one hand, hope/wish in the other, and let me know which one fills up first.”

Again, not saying this to be mean or anything.. but he was right. We all know which one is going to fill up first.

Don’t let hope for something that is likely never going to happen destroy you.. far better to move on with your life.. at least in my humble opinion.

[Th****]

43 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I feel this is a good point also.  If you feel things are getting stagnant but aren't sure whether to give up.  Don't try to prod into small talk or beat around, like just outright ask.

I think one of the things about the whole "connection" thing - like... especially online people often trick themselves into thinking there is something there that isn't.  They get a little dopamine hit when the other person replies and confuse it for something else.  There was no connection. You just enjoyed the interactions.  This doesn't mean it was mutual.  There was no lost connection, cos there wasn't one there.

If it seems someone is not replying often enough, or is hard work, or isn't giving the responses you'd like.   It might actually be they actually have a life and aren't available online chronically.  It also might be that they don't particularly feel a connection but are interested enough to give somewhat of a response.

You don't have to wait for them to no longer respond.

The OP is also pretty vague. Are they talking about someone they've actually met in person and have had some type of actual relationship? Have they just interacted a bit online? So many variables. 

[Pi****]

The first one? Or probably whichever one you notice first

[Mr****]

1 hour ago, tongue4u2use said:

Not trying to sound like a jerk.. but my grandfather once told me to “sh*t in one hand, hope/wish in the other, and let me know which one fills up first.”

Again, not saying this to be mean or anything.. but he was right. We all know which one is going to fill up first.

Don’t let hope for something that is likely never going to happen destroy you.. far better to move on with your life.. at least in my humble opinion.

Don’t know you’re grandfather but I love his/this quote. God bless em.

[bu****]

Weird the author deleted their profile

[ey****]

34 minutes ago, burnttoast213 said:

Weird the author deleted their profile

Maybe he decided to stop trying

Or didn't get the answers he wanted....

[ey****]

1 hour ago, ThaliaV said:

The OP is also pretty vague. Are they talking about someone they've actually met in person and have had some type of actual relationship? Have they just interacted a bit online? So many variables. 

This is often a big issue on here.  Partially, of course, cos online comms can be hard

But on the other, like - there's a lot of valid frustrations and problems I agree with. But then we also get (particularly) guys when someone they've been chatting to online, for under a week, has blown them off. And it sucks, but you aint lost the love of your life.

 

[va****]

I reach out and communicate whatever it is that comes to mind that I have learned with gratitude and if there’s no response, then take what you got from it into the next encounter. Things can pick back up at any time just don’t let that be something that hooks be beneath the surface.

[va****]

Get picky. Know what you want to experience for your growth. Open to everything attached to nothing.

[va****]

And one more thing experiences don’t have to repeat themselves or be redone. Gratitude for what it was while it lasted and more than that what you learned about yourself can help you let it go.

[va****]

Be full from you first it stops the chase.

[dw****]

When it initially ended

[ch****]

Shi poetry twin

[TheRigger]

On a scale of *** to gain, when the *** overcomes the gain, is it worth going through the ***.
Another consideration how much rent free space can your mind handle - look after your mental health.
A relationship is built on all contributing, if one in the relationship is not responding while the other is, time to revaluate - is it time to move on.
You got a lot to offer someone else who will appreciate you more

[Xl****]

This really hit home.... Im living this moment also, id love to talk sometime.

[do****]

when things stop feeling organic the vibe is off. stay good. stay respectful. don't burn bridges. focus and grow. Things may just go full circle.

[as****]

It's telling that most of the comments (of which are broadly supportive) are guys.

And whether they met in person or not. Feelings are feelings. Everyone is different. I suspect this deleted profile has high emotional intelligence and thus able to feel emotionally full from words alone; although sadly unfortunately it didn't last.

Why delete their profile... because they probably needed a clean break away from here.

[Cl****]

˙ᵕ˙

Edited 17 hours ago by ClaireBear21

[Cl****]

Reach out and explain your needs aren’t being met. If they continue to not be met… you just can’t continue a connection with a wall. They’re giving you nothing…. Nothing to even like? So ask yourself why do you like them anyways? What qualities are they actually bringing to the table? Commutation is bare minimum and if they can’t do that then why waste your time. It’s hard to rebuild once that trust gone and besides it’s their loss and someone else gain. We hang on to the “idea” of it rather than what we’re actually receiving, once you figure out that their efforts are so poor you end up finding them unattractive anyways. 🤭

[to****]

The person who made the thread liked peoples’ comments that advised them to let go and move on. I believe he/she wrote a message here saying something to the effect of “thanks, I really needed to hear that.” in regards to the big long post by LaLaLausemädchen up towards the beginning of the thread (specifically about the very last finally choosing yourself part), and then deleted.

Pretty sure they’re gonna be just fine.