What is the one thing that makes a BDSM dynamic truly fulfilling for you?

[Co****]

For some, it’s the control. For others, it’s the surrender. Maybe it’s the anticipation of an instruction, the comfort of knowing someone else is taking the lead, or the ability to let your guard down with someone you trust enough to see the parts of you that the rest of the world never gets to see.

Doms, what makes you feel connected to your submissive? Is it their obedience, their trust, their attitude, their vulnerability, or the little ways they show you they’re thinking about you?

Subs, what makes you feel truly owned in the emotional sense? Is it consistency, attention, accountability, praise, structure, or knowing your Dom notices the little things without having to be asked?

[po****]

It’s the surrender. It’s the vulnerability and letting go. I was talking about it yesterday men who say subbing is weak or “for betas” have it all wrong. It takes a strong man (or woman) to turn themselves over to another person. I need to trust my domme and know their intentions are not the evil people assume. And it is experiencing fantasies I’ve bottled up for so long. And seeing the approval in her (or his face) at sessions end.

[Ri****]

I think for me personally it's knowing that they trust me so much that they can turn their brain off and follow my instructions :3

[Da****]

When she smiles after the play and still in the sun-zone and says “thank you Sir , I hope I was a good girl” .
Melts me …

[Ca****]

Influence. It can be incredibly powerful or playful. It’s an amazing question and it’s late. I could talk for hours… that’s why I’ll stop here…

[Ge****]

Good question.
I would say it’s the Natural Connection, when Both just be them selfs and completing euch others desire

[Si****]

It’s the connection for me! When your sub feels so safe that she falls asleep in your arms in minutes after aftercare. I’ve played casually with people and nothing beats a play session with a sub that you have a connection with.

[to****]

For me when my ex man used to put me into tight chastity, a leash and collar and handcuffed then I knew it was on and he was serious but I was owned but safe with him!

[Vo****]

Dom, I like making sure the subs feelings and trust are reciprocated.

[va****]

Sub and I love consistency And care it helps my trust and surrender so much more when there is mutual respect without discard.

[Sl****]

The person, that’s it. Having the right person that I am compatible with outside of kink.

All of the other stuff can be worked out until we find a ground we are both satisfied with.

The kink is secondary, as long as she has got the same appetite and stamina and wants to explore it’s all good.

[pb****]

Absolutely the surrender of it all

[pleasuredomnewbie]

I think ultimately it's about people finding ways to experience transcendent pleasure. Some find it easier to get there when taking control of the situation and others find it easier to get there when allowing others to take the wheel. Either way I think both sides of the dynamic are on different journeys to the same destination.

Since I am able to get there more easily when I take control, I feel I can become connected to people who want someone else to guide them. While I do have limits I generally don't mind if the connection needs me to go a little outside my comfort zone. It's fun to help people experience things they never realized their bodies were capable of.

I am often suspicious of the motives of people who are in it for any other reason.