The "Women Outnumber Men" Myth: Let us Talk Ratios

[si****]

6 hours ago, PenelopeGarcia said:

I see a lot of guys on here. While I can’t speak to the guys’ perspective, I’ll say that more times than not I won’t engage for the following reasons: I see no effort in their appearance/hygiene, I’m hit with disrespect immediately in the first few messages, & or they have nothing on their profile except a single blurry picture or they have 10 thousand plus words on their profile.

Same! 💯

[do****]

Mostly hanging back I get put off for months some time because of particularly forward messages. I say I’m my intro everything I don’t want and yet people come to my DMs doing all of it.

[Lo****]

I don't think dating apps are a great metric for single/looking numbers. Some people prefer finding others in person or have an easier time finding people irl. It also depends on the area.

[An****]

Most men are married or in a committed relationship.

[hu****]

This definitely has a large helping of survivorship bias. Men are more likely to be outspoken about it because women are told they should be ashamed and disgusted of sex/kink. Men on the other hand are praised and congratulated for being open and flaunting those experiences

[Mi****]

Been on the app 2 days and can tell you it is like 60%-70% dudes. I do feel that it has something to do with a lot females being afraid to post or get on due to the *** of being talked about or thought of in a negative way bc of their kink

[fe****]

And then most the woman it shows me are submissive. Hard to find a dominant woman in your area.

[bt****]

80/20 rule… always

[ey****]

On 10/31/2026 at 7:23 PM, TheRideOfYourLife said:

I keep hearing the idea that women outnumber men in the kink community, but getting on these types of apps lately, it feels like a total misconception. Every time I browse or look at new threads, it seems to be overwhelmingly men.

So I have never ever heard the idea of women outnumbering men.   I frequently hear about men bitching and moaning that men outnumber women, with unverified and hyperinflated stats, or info out of context.  But never heard the other way round.

But

I don't know what people don't understand.   Apps, websites, forums, etc. especially those where women have a negative experience - are NOT the entire kink community. Merely a facet of it.  

Actually getting out and about sees much more closer numbers - and is less open to dispute, you can see who is fake/real/whatever cos they're there - in the flesh (but still won't automatically drop their pants for you)