Head trauma

[Fe****]

A few years ago I was attacked with a hammer. I sustained minor injuries around my temple and bruising around my skull. The over all *** was 4/10 in my experience, but the damage changed me. Some things are easier, like making fast decisions and judgments. A lot of things are just off or slower. Most days I either find myself in a borderline euphoria, the air around me feels like warm honey and the colors seem to have a golden hue, or tint to them. On other days though moving my neck feels like grinding stones, my lower back *** keeps me nearly bedbound and my depression and anxiety are off the charts. I still enjoy kink, but i feel like I can't provide the experience that a submissive partner deserves, due to my brain.
I am honestly curious if anyone else has experienced anything like this.

[ai****]

I actually relate to this a lot, although my experiences come more from psychological trauma rather than a physical brain ***. I feel like trauma has completely changed the way my brain works and how I experience things. I go through periods where I feel almost euphoric or manic, become extremely impulsive, and deliberately put myself in dangerous situations, sometimes even recreating situations similar to my past trauma. It’s almost like I’m drawn to the very things that have hurt me, even when I know how badly they could end. Then there are periods where I can barely get out of bed, isolate myself, and feel completely disconnected from everything. It’s like constantly switching between wanting to experience everything, even the dangerous things, and wanting to experience absolutely nothing.
I also relate to what you said about kink and feeling like your brain gets in the way of being the partner you want to be. I have a complicated relationship with ***, intimacy, and feeling safe, and sometimes it’s difficult to separate what I genuinely enjoy from what I’ve learned to associate with comfort because of my past.
I know our circumstances aren’t exactly the same, but I wanted to share because I understand how isolating it can feel when your own mind seems to work against you. I hope you know that struggling with these things doesn’t mean you’re incapable of giving someone a meaningful experience or connection. You deserve that same patience and understanding from a partner, too. I really hope you’re able to find some relief and people who understand you. ❤️

[Diesellover]

Have you looked into Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. It can often be triggered after a head ***. Triggers inflammation could it’s gene turned on or viral triggered could be many things. Coffee with dr Stewart has a lot of interesting info on it.

[en****]

I've also had head trauma, but it sounds like our symptoms are vastly different. I struggle to remember details, like names and specific details, as well as occasionally forgetting hours of time on any given day. It's definitely rough, and depression has definitely been worse since then. Very cliche answer, but therapy has definitely helped for the emotional/mental aspect.

[Sy****]

A few years ago my younger brother punched me 20 times in the head wearing large rings (the cop said they were an equivalent of brass knuckles). It damaged my frontal lobe and gave me one hell of a concussion. I do feel a lot different than I used to. I'm more cautious about things, I am quicker and making decisions and judgments but I do lose track of timing and days seem to all blend together. Therapy does help a lot. I also know what it's like to have a bad back cuz my spine and hips are crooked and I have a bunch of pinched nerves in my neck. I did a lot of physical therapy and it seemed to help.

[chains07]

I can tell you having three massive STEMI heart attacks changed my entire existence. I went from being like an energy Volcano , never stopping , working, fixing, working out etc to now heavier, depressed , unable to walk some days from
The heart damage. Some days i just lie in bed uncomfortable, not wanting to live like this , emotions going from none to astronomical. I'm 63. And a genetic anomaly did this along with my wife's cheating. Best advice i can give not that you asked for advice is too find the spot in your thoughts that take you towards peace. At my lowest, where my BNP was off charts, I pushed ahead , always was a fighter I'll die fighting. But ultimately i found that spot in my soul where I was me. Yes I'm disabled yes i weaker now, no longer freakishly strong. But I'm resilient. My place was the sounds of the beach.... waves crashing, seagulls cawing. I remembered my youth which was awful except when i was with my Pop crabbing or at the beach. They give me a year. They don't know me and the same for you. You take your time, you take one moment at a time and find inner strength and peace. Be blessed

[Fe****]

I really appreciate everyone's comments.

[chains07]

Ya know , nobody really knows what another person suffers thru. When i find out a fellow person is suffering , it breaks my heart because i am very empathetic. I had a real real rough life and had no choice as a kid to become very hardened. But when i know someone is down. I just wanna help them
You ever need an ear. Don't hesitate.

[po****]

I'm so sorry for what happened to you

[BO****]

Paul Pelosi, is that you? 😂

[Te****]

Plenty of ill and disabled people do kink, so I wouldn't say that illness is necessarily the end of kink (or sex). An ill or disabled partner would probably understand you very well, and might even feel safer with you than with an able-bodied person. On the principle that like knows like, and that your experience has (hopefully) given you more understanding and empathy towards them, too. It's the able-bodied people being blind to others' ailments and not taking them seriously that are worse (because they either forget, are too blinkered by their own good health or even belittle the other person's health issues) and with whom things can get very dangerous very quickly. Imagine if you're a girl with a, say, neck *** and some new guy suddenly starts choking you without asking (because, hey, everyone does choking in porn these days! All girls like it, right?)... happens all the time.

So I bet that you might have, as strange as it seems, an advantage (or at least an assumed advantage) of maybe being more aware of potential injuries/risks during sex than the average guy? That's exactly what a sub needs.