paypig/findom

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, OhBuddha said:

So, findom; You're just basically a prostitute aren't you.

OhBuddha have you thought about maybe getting some counselling lovely? You seem to have a lot of anger and hurt coming out. It doesn't have to be that way 🙂

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, swphoenix said:

OhBuddha have you thought about maybe getting some counselling lovely? You seem to have a lot of anger and hurt coming out. It doesn't have to be that way 🙂

It bothers me; the worrying thing is, so open to ***. It's ok, I get that you are mocking me with your comment about counselling. That's cool, I realise my comments are there to be made fun of. 

To be sure though, inside what I say is a very serious point. As someone who has suffered *** and bullying from a very young age, I am very much aware of what it is to be *** and used. 

A crucial point I feel, is this. How many '***' and 'dominatrix', stop when the pit is nearly empty. 

When you suffer from depression and anxiety from ***, it's gives you great insight into the human condition.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, OhBuddha said:

A crucial point I feel, is this. How many '***' and 'dominatrix', stop when the pit is nearly empty. 

As a general rule - in these set ups it is a paid service.  This means, like any other service - be it a local bar, netflix or whatever - when you stop paying you no longer get the service : it is also your responsibility, of course, to make sure you stick to appropriate budgets.

Obviously this is something which can seem kinda cold, a relationship which ends when the *** isn't there - but you at least know the situation.  The amount of marriages or long term relationships which break down when one or both partners encounter financial difficulties is staggering

But there are those who if they do have any form of long term relationship or engagements with a sub/client who runs into a financial rut then while they don't/can't play for free - they also don't cut them off either - largely repaying loyalty while also kinda expecting that things will resume when the other person emerges from the rut.  Cos, like, unlikely netflix they may well have sub/clients they like.

Being derogatory, or bitter, towards this does nothing to help your own position.   If this isn't a route you want to go down you simply don't go down - but someone doing any form of financial arrangement probably wouldn't play with you, or have a relationship with you, at all if they had any other job.

And honestly, the amount of people in a relationship where their partner is their Dominant but they can't "play" very much due to work, commitments, fatigue, etc. I think people in general need to be realistic on what relationships look like

[Deleted Member]

35 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

As a general rule - in these set ups it is a paid service.  This means, like any other service - be it a local bar, netflix or whatever - when you stop paying you no longer get the service : it is also your responsibility, of course, to make sure you stick to appropriate budgets.

Obviously this is something which can seem kinda cold, a relationship which ends when the *** isn't there - but you at least know the situation.  The amount of marriages or long term relationships which break down when one or both partners encounter financial difficulties is staggering

But there are those who if they do have any form of long term relationship or engagements with a sub/client who runs into a financial rut then while they don't/can't play for free - they also don't cut them off either - largely repaying loyalty while also kinda expecting that things will resume when the other person emerges from the rut.  Cos, like, unlikely netflix they may well have sub/clients they like.

Being derogatory, or bitter, towards this does nothing to help your own position.   If this isn't a route you want to go down you simply don't go down - but someone doing any form of financial arrangement probably wouldn't play with you, or have a relationship with you, at all if they had any other job.

And honestly, the amount of people in a relationship where their partner is their Dominant but they can't "play" very much due to work, commitments, fatigue, etc. I think people in general need to be realistic on what relationships look like

I pretty much disagree with most of what you say. I am looking at it from the mental health point of view. Very many men who suffer from mental health disorders, do not have full control of their actions. Cannot control their *** or just genuinely struggle with financial matters. 

Mental is an incredibly deep and diverse problem. Sufferers can be easily manipulated and used. Being "derogatory or bitter" for me, is a very natural reaction for something that can be twisted and corrupted for someone's base ends.

 

[ey****]

Obviously, of course, I am sympathetic to anyone who struggles with their mental health.  But, here goes.

1) anyone whose mental health is so bad they cannot control their actions SHOULD NOT be looking for a kink relationship or engaging in kink AT ALL.  

I'm sorry if that sounds brutal, and this doesn't apply to everyone with MH problems - but if this is impairing judgement it leads the person to be a danger to themselves or others and seeking professional help and support for this should be a priority ahead of seeking out kink relationships.

2) As above, even outside of any Fin/Pro/etc arrangement a lot of relationships fail due to financial matters and so this is again something where support should be sought

3) Equally, anyone who is reckless with *** is just as likely to squander or "be taken advantage of" to anyone from mates in the pub to almost any other industry - so why single out this one?

[Deleted Member]

Yesterday at 09:19 AM, OhBuddha said:

It bothers me; the worrying thing is, so open to ***. It's ok, I get that you are mocking me with your comment about counselling. That's cool, I realise my comments are there to be made fun of. 

To be sure though, inside what I say is a very serious point. As someone who has suffered *** and bullying from a very young age, I am very much aware of what it is to be *** and used. 

A crucial point I feel, is this. How many '***' and 'dominatrix', stop when the pit is nearly empty. 

When you suffer from depression and anxiety from ***, it's gives you great insight into the human condition.

The fact that you see this as mocking is precisely why I suggest counselling. I have yet to meet someone in the kink pool who doesn't have some kind of trauma, depression and anxiety. We are all alike in that way. Counselling as really helped me and, my last sub when I suggested he go. It's not easy to tear yourself apart and look at the ugly bits. But it is immensely beneficial for those who put the effort it. Its much easier to sit on the Internet taking cheap digs at people and calling suggestions mocking. And I get counselling isn't cheap, emotionally or on the pocket. But it's well worth it.

[Deleted Member]

20 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Obviously, of course, I am sympathetic to anyone who struggles with their mental health.  But, here goes.

1) anyone whose mental health is so bad they cannot control their actions SHOULD NOT be looking for a kink relationship or engaging in kink AT ALL.  

I'm sorry if that sounds brutal, and this doesn't apply to everyone with MH problems - but if this is impairing judgement it leads the person to be a danger to themselves or others and seeking professional help and support for this should be a priority ahead of seeking out kink relationships.

2) As above, even outside of any Fin/Pro/etc arrangement a lot of relationships fail due to financial matters and so this is again something where support should be sought

3) Equally, anyone who is reckless with *** is just as likely to squander or "be taken advantage of" to anyone from mates in the pub to almost any other industry - so why single out this one?

Yeah I would second this. The reason I am taking a break from subs at the moment is precisely that. After a very intense May my depression and anxiety have relapsed with a vengeance, so (having been here before) I am seeking the help that gets me back on track and taking a step back from kink. I have told my play mate my situation and generally am open with anyone else who I talk to. I can't have decent play dates when my head isn't working and it's no for on my play partners either. This time round I'm already improving because I realised quickly I jave to address it. No one else can do it for me.

[Deleted Member]

Should say not fair on my play mates...

[Deleted Member]

I personally don't like findom either for the record. But I have pro domme friends, who live their job and are providing a service. Is findom any different? Each to their own.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, swphoenix said:

The fact that you see this as mocking is precisely why I suggest counselling. I have yet to meet someone in the kink pool who doesn't have some kind of trauma, depression and anxiety. We are all alike in that way. Counselling as really helped me and, my last sub when I suggested he go. It's not easy to tear yourself apart and look at the ugly bits. But it is immensely beneficial for those who put the effort it. Its much easier to sit on the Internet taking cheap digs at people and calling suggestions mocking. And I get counselling isn't cheap, emotionally or on the pocket. But it's well worth it.

I have group therapy and one to one counselling. It was not a cheap dig! It was a candid observation. 

[Deleted Member]

23 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Obviously, of course, I am sympathetic to anyone who struggles with their mental health.  But, here goes.

1) anyone whose mental health is so bad they cannot control their actions SHOULD NOT be looking for a kink relationship or engaging in kink AT ALL.  

I'm sorry if that sounds brutal, and this doesn't apply to everyone with MH problems - but if this is impairing judgement it leads the person to be a danger to themselves or others and seeking professional help and support for this should be a priority ahead of seeking out kink relationships.

2) As above, even outside of any Fin/Pro/etc arrangement a lot of relationships fail due to financial matters and so this is again something where support should be sought

3) Equally, anyone who is reckless with *** is just as likely to squander or "be taken advantage of" to anyone from mates in the pub to almost any other industry - so why single out this one?

Who died and made you God!! Who are you to pass judgement over anything that wants to do. You have no right to say what a person can or cannot do. Your ignorance is only matched by your lack of empathy. There are shed loads on here who have many mental health issues. I am very sure that most of them cannot take adequate control of their actions. That is why they use this site and do the things they do. You tell them they should not be looking at a kink relationship!! You are really up your own backside. Your narcissism and self delusion astound me. 

[ey****]

14 minutes ago, OhBuddha said:

Who died and made you God!! Who are you to pass judgement over anything that wants to do. You have no right to say what a person can or cannot do. Your ignorance is only matched by your lack of empathy. There are shed loads on here who have many mental health issues. I am very sure that most of them cannot take adequate control of their actions. That is why they use this site and do the things they do. You tell them they should not be looking at a kink relationship!! You are really up your own backside. Your narcissism and self delusion astound me. 

I'm sorry you feel this way but it is important you understand what I am saying and why I am saying this.

Now, of course, mental health is very common - and so there are a lot of people in kink who struggle to different degrees.    

However, if you are a submissive who is struggling with mental health to the point it is affecting your judgement and actions this runs a massive risk.  For example, you might go along with something your Dominant says for *** of losing them, or because you think you have to, or because your Dominant is manipulating you - none of these are healthy.  

If you are a Dominant struggling with mental health to the point it affects your judgement and actions - well, hopefully this doesn't need explanation of why this is bad.

--

If we look at physical health. You wouldn't try to run a marathon with a broken leg.  But, there are other physical injuries where you would be perfectly able to take part.

--

The other problem with mental health and relationships is - of course, plenty of people with MH issues do and should seek out relationships - but - if you are looking for a relationship in order to 'help' your mental health this comes with the problem that failing to find a relationship can make things worse - or - if you do find a relationship then this creates a toxic codependency 

What I am saying - if your MH is so bad it is affecting control and judgement, then this is something someone should work on themselves; either on their own or with a trained mental health professional - otherwise things really aren't going to be the best for them.

[na****]

Omg i need more tips

[Deleted Member]

May 20, someliro said:

I've recently seen the term ethical finding. That's a kind of findom I can understand. The draining until they have racked up debt or don't have enough for expenses, I can't.

My thoughts exactly.

[Go****]

March 3, 2022, Deleted profile said:

Good luck with that. Many dont consider that real bdsm

It’s literally in the name… bDsm (domination) .. financial DOMINATION .. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[Di****]

What does Findom Scene consist of

[Deleted Member]

Being dominated isn't always sexual. It's about being controlled in every way if you ask me. I use findom all the time when I'm being dominant . Being a Dom it's important to know I'm in control in every aspect.