Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2022 Posted April 2, 2022 Im meeting someone new do i meet up in public place first or pirvate place to get down and dirty. Im new to all this but i really want to learn new things.
Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2022 Author Posted April 2, 2022 Depends how well you've gotten to know them and how comfortable you are and background. A lot will meet in public and go from there and its also recommended, a pub, few drinks or a coffee. However a few who feel if they know them well enough and both parties are at ease will go straight to a private meet. Really depends how you both feel and if you both feel safe. I would suggest public, as you state its someone new and that you're asking advice would imply a few concerns.
Nikki_Hexy Posted April 2, 2022 Posted April 2, 2022 There are some who like the sleezy feeling of just meeting up with a stranger and getting sexy, but if you are thinking of anything more in terms of BDSM or kink orientation. I would meet in a public setting, your local Starbucks or Costa or something. Talk and see if you both have similar interests, similar goals sexualy
Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2022 Author Posted April 2, 2022 I would definitely say only a public place for the first meet, anyone can be anything online even if you've been talking a while
Je**** Posted April 2, 2022 Posted April 2, 2022 Im personally concerned youre asking and i am praying i am reading it wrong. You want to meet someone new (first time) and where is best to get down and dirty? *If* this is what you mean i shall scream safety at you. This is a bdsm site, often confused with a sex site. People have a warped idea you just meet people and do the thing. It couldnt be further from the truth. You need to know you both click as people. That they are real. That you and they feel safe. Chemistry. Kink and sexual compatibility as well as personality. Il never encourage getting down and dirty with someone on first date.. Have i done it myself.. yes. And thats what made me realise how silly of me that was. But... If i wanted to go out to meet someone / people for sex and random fun.. id.probably meet someone at a bar and gage what theyre like as a person before od bring them home for that. But from online... people can be whoever they want to be.. then the hearts leading the mind even when it can be wrong. Sorry for my ramble. Basically dont meet first with a bdsm intent. It takes time and trust. A first shag.. do what you will but know the flags. Follow your intuition in both cases though. It should always come into account. Wishing you luck
Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2022 Author Posted April 2, 2022 I would personally meet up in a coffee shop or some place like that safety first 100%
ey**** Posted April 2, 2022 Posted April 2, 2022 I've done both where it is meeting first somewhere public or meeting straight away for play. (TBH as I do a lot of filming in most cases I would go straight to play - but - there's usually enough we can find about each other that gives more confidence) On another site there was a lady who claimed she'd had horror stories from male subs who had met people straight for play. Some of it did feel kinda suspect to me but - yeah - so.... the advice is usually given to women to meet public first and that's often as a safety thing so if you don't then connect or something 'doesn't feel right' you don't have to get into a potentially dangerous situation. sound. But the same should be true of men. The horror stories included someone who had met someone for consensual play and indulged in facesitting, passed out, and woke to find she had gone and he'd been robbed. But it doesn't even have to be that explicit - as there's so much else can go wrong through deliberate acts to inexperience to simply your styles of play being incompatible
Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2022 Author Posted April 2, 2022 When i said down and dirty it was bdsm not sex. She was offering me to sit in on dom/sub session to see if i enjoy it thank guys and girls x
Je**** Posted April 2, 2022 Posted April 2, 2022 8 minutes ago, Johnpiper69 said: When i said down and dirty it was bdsm not sex. She was offering me to sit in on dom/sub session to see if i enjoy it thank guys and girls x This gives me *** in my gut. But to each their own. Please be vigilant.
Ch**** Posted April 2, 2022 Posted April 2, 2022 Personally ive always played on the first meet, im at that point with them when we do. If someone is going to be dangerous they are going to be dangerous, if not on the first public coffee meet then maybe that first time alone after 3/4 coffee meets. It could be 1yr into a relationship, after 10 years of marriage ect. Do what ever YOU feel comfortable with. I always let someone know who and where i go, it might not save my life but they will catch the bugger.
Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2022 Author Posted April 2, 2022 Thanks everyone i went with a friend and it turned out a older couple just wanted to watch them have sex no bdsm i was hoping to see more than just sex
Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2022 Author Posted April 2, 2022 @Cheekysub247... First, your picture does not look like a mugshot. It's a good picture. Yes, it does show a playful person. If a man cannot see that... no comment.🤦♀️ I do have to say, some of your comments are very funny!😅 Back to subject. You got big balls!! Everything you said is correct, and @Copperknob said something similar about not knowing people on a different form. For me, I need few coffee meetings. I guess, I have small balls. My apologies to the men, ball size does not matter for me.😁
Ch**** Posted April 2, 2022 Posted April 2, 2022 @kiseu aww thanks, and i do like to keep as many things light hearted as possible, ive had people shoot me down for MY opinion or how I do things but hey.. each to their own, im sure they wouldnt like it if i said " no that's not how its done " 😂 All we can do is whats right for YOU 😊
Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2022 Author Posted April 2, 2022 I always meet first in public then plan to play at another date. It gives time to make sure both people really want to play. I am a Dom and do this to protect myself too.
sm**** Posted April 2, 2022 Posted April 2, 2022 Most have already suggested meet up in a public space, even if you have been communicating for some time, people can "be anyone" hiding behind the anonymity of online. Always think safety first, yours and theirs. If your traveling a distance, one tip, always have a backup plan i,e some place you can visit and spend time in, just in case they are a no show or you need to back out when meeting, seeing red flags etc Personally i would have a few public meets, to sus them and them you out a bit more. One convenient for them and the next for yourself. If possible try and find out if they are known by the community, have a safe call! with someone you trust, who knows exactly where and when you are meeting, and let them make a contact txt or call at a certain time to see if your all right. Anyone you meet should be ok with that and have a similar arrangement. If they get arsy that's a red flag to me. Safety is a must at all times. Local munches are a good place over time to get to know trusted people over time who migth be willing to help out for safety calls. Iv'e also been asked in the past to sit in the same public venue "cafe, coffee shop etc" and been on hand in case things get out of hand or not as friendly. Iv'e had similar meet ups where they have had the same, and told me afterwards. It's standard safety protocols in the scene or it used to be! I have no objection to this, as i started the first local munch here because a female friend was literally hospitalised on their first meet and had no safe call. As for wanting to play on your first meet, that is your call but id strongly suggest it's a no, iv'e seen people nice as pie and social ***s in the online community but hide a darker side in secret. Listen to your gutt, if they complain your not wanting to play on a first real meet, is this a person you want as a long term partner? or have you in a *** position. BTW it's not just the female side that can be in danger at meets, if seen it the other way around, locally, not as often but it does happen. Think Safety first for yourself and them.
Deleted Member Posted April 3, 2022 Author Posted April 3, 2022 I have gone straight to private but that was after months of talking via phone/video calls and running a background check online. Background checks are cheaper than a cup of coffee. Just an idea😉
Deleted Member Posted April 3, 2022 Author Posted April 3, 2022 7 hours ago, Honey_Cunt said: I have gone straight to private but that was after months of talking via phone/video calls and running a background check online. Background checks are cheaper than a cup of coffee. Just an idea😉 You should have gone with a better detective
Deleted Member Posted April 3, 2022 Author Posted April 3, 2022 4 hours ago, assholes_anonymous said: You should have gone with a better detective Who said I was talking about you?😂
Ky**** Posted April 4, 2022 Posted April 4, 2022 public place for first meet, preferably over coffee rather than alcohol, I find cafeterias near to major rail stations are good, or even meet at such places, then decide if you want to go somewhere else
Deleted Member Posted April 4, 2022 Author Posted April 4, 2022 I met someone the other day for the first time I had been chatting online for 8 weeks and we’ve video called during this time. We were pretty confident our first meet up would be fine but we both agreed a public meet in a bar first still, we had a few drinks chatted for a good few hours before we moved into private. A room we already had organised if we decided to go ahead with being more physical and kinky. Safe to say it was one of the best days of my life. 😈
Deleted Member Posted April 16, 2022 Author Posted April 16, 2022 Thank you everyone !! So many good posts here! These blogs are so important! I wish every new member would see them the first day they sign up. People need to know It actually takes a lot of work to Love someone no matter who we are. Even more care is need to reach the intensity people seek in Kink. If someone will not have a drink or coffee with you, so you can look them in the eye and feel out their character,......Well.... its probably not going to be an experience your friends on here would agree with. Its most probably a waste of your gifts as a person. .
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