Ice breaker

[sw****]

DID WE BECOME BEST FRIENDS JUST NOW!!???I'will follow you through the mists of Avalon...

[Nimrod]

I'm still a little confused about your predicament, I'm missing a lot of context.

you should start with "the Five W's";

Where did you see her?

Was it a restaurant? or entertainment complex or public bus stop?

Who was she with?

Worst time to hit on a woman is when they are with close family members and

stressed about it. Or having her dog walk her or with her boyfriend / husband.

What was she doing?

Did she look as though she was waiting on a date or overly anxious?

Why was she there?

Was she in a rush to get somewhere?

What was she wearing?

Was her attire showing off any of her body (pushup bra, naughty lingerie, short cut mini skirt, booty shorts) was her hair, chest, legs, thighs or feet accentuated?

Did she have any erotic piercings she was showing off?

 

This is what I may have tried in your situation.

1.  Strike up a conversation by starting with a basic compliment, (i.e. I really like those shoes!) and use small talk topics like ( what she's doing, whose she with) talk a bit about yourself to make her feel like it isn't an interrogation.

No one likes being interrogated,  so you should let her do a portion of the talking, chemistry plays a critical role when dating and (subsequently) getting laid,

If you value your health then you'll consider that factor even before you leave the house.

Keeping your shots up-to-date and using condoms during coitus are just as important as brushing your teeth and wearing deodorant, some partners like a light

musk on their partner but not all of them are crazy about someone who hasn't even bothered to take a shower in 3 weeks.

 

2. Flirt a little with her personal space, does she shy away or does her body language become defensive at all?

Women are by default aware of their personal space (unfortunately that's the world in which we live), so if she feels safe enough to spend a few moments of her time

chatting with you about herself or any other topic it's a safe bet there's a reason for it.

If she doesn't become defensive it means she's not feeling threatened, that's an opportunity to close the gap, maybe tell a stupid joke or discuss something you may have in common, some people like to talk about themselves or topics that they have a vested interest in.

DO NOT misinterpret this as a sign of mutual interest. If she is interested in you she will find a way to make it known to you.

If she seems relaxed with your courting her personal space see if you can find an opportunity to lightly touch her elbow forearm. If she pulls away, back off immediately.

Defensive body language can come in a few forms; arms crossed over chest, shoulders tensed or hunched, one foot positioned on the back-heel as though to pivot away

to escape, a scowl or frown as you engage her in conversation.

Don't make the mistake of overplaying your hand when you hear no for the first time, once is enough, if she changers her mind, she'll seek you out.

 

3. Lower your voice from time to time make her sub-consciously lean-in to hear you as if sharing a secret.

If your familiar with the venue - lean in a bit as if telling her a secret and maybe recommend an menu item as an excuse to enter her personal space.

Is she smiling a lot ?

Are her eyes fixed on any part of your body eyes, lips, chest, hips, legs?

Has her breathing become shorter?

Is her posture relaxed (sticking her chest or hips our flirtatiously)?

Is she trying to find a way into your personal space or an escape route?

Has she taken a genuine interest what your saying or is she simply being polite?

If she hasn't pulled away or become defensive or tried to flat out run away screaming, then it's likely she doesn't want to and your chances of getting laid just improved.

This tactic takes all of 2-3 minutes to confirm and is fairly basic and even though there's still a chance she may still turn you down, it's better to get a "yes" rather than a "maybe" and a "maybe" rather than a "no".

 

4. Assess everything you know about this woman and add it up to a binary 1 or 0 (yes or no) answer.

Everyone loves sex in all shapes, sizes and forms, but there's nothing wrong with playing it safe, even when it's a fling... and especially when it's with a fling.

At this point your familiar with her personal space and we've discussed good common sense, but now you'll need to use all of your senses, including your gut instinct.

If it doesn't seem or feel right to you, there's usually a cause for that, even if your can't figure it out, your subconscious may have detected a lie or some other red flag you won't

pick up on until much later on and the worst thing you can do is ignore your own doubts about this.

here are some more questions you'll need to ask yourself;

Does she take care of her hygiene?

what condition are teeth in?

can you smell her breath?

There's a difference between halitosis and gum disease or a rotting tooth.

Proper oral care is important especially where oral sex is a factor.

Is her makeup a cheap knock off?

Fashion moguls may contest that wearing inexpensive makeup should constitute a crime, but identifying possible bruises it may be covering up, may indicate one.

What condition are her clothes in? 

Is she hiding track marks on her arms or lacerations on her wrists?

Are her nails cracked, split or in poor condition?

At some point, if things go your way, you may find them inside of you so bare that in mind.

The last thing you want, when getting laid are dirty fingernails either massaging your prostate or vaginal walls, no regrets should be a motto.

Is she menstruating?

Your bound to find out one way or another, but if it's sexual responsibility that isn't on her list of priorities,  it should definitely be on yours.

Does she have bruises or scratches?

Though there's nothing wrong with rough sex as long as it's consensual, sometimes you may come across situations that may indicate *** or assault or other issues at home.

If there's a problem at home it's usually a good indicator that it may very well affect you and your personal safety.

 

5. Seal the deal.

This part is easy if she's into you she'll find a way to let you know, however if she want's you to make the first move, you should be able to identify your cue.

Sometimes her idling; playing with her hair, shuffling her feet, showing she doesn't want to leave but she may be anxious to have you suggest an alternative, are good indicators for you to wrap it up and deliver your killer one-liner. This is the part where you deliver the "mic drop" and let her know that "there's an emergency and it's in your pants ".

Maybe not so forward but let her know that you'd like to see if she's up for a fun evening.. but maybe leave out the bit where you tell her there's a sex swing in the back room

This is where consent comes into play and where the parameters of good safe sex practices ensure you have a worry-free time.

All the preliminary assessments, requirements and tedious inquiry culminates in an enjoyable experience, it may seem daunting when you look over the above steps. but

they are there for a reason. The steps can be mixed all you want, but by the end of the 3 minutes ( 5 to 8 if your inexperienced with socializing and picking up on social cues),

you should have a good idea on the binary question "Yes or No", the trick is to be able to answer the questions for yourself as well.

 

[va****]

GOD DAM Nimrod that is one solid analysis lol

[Gh****]

oh dammmm

[Ri****]

Damn

[DundeeSM]

I’d love to know , as I’m terrible at starting off that kinda conversation. As I really need to grow a pair sometimes 🙈 x

[Du****]

Such a weird question

[sj****]

So let me clear something up. I definitely am not trying to be a creep or predatory! I’m new at this, I wanted honest advice and I appreciate everyone’s comments. I would definitely make conversation and feel out the situation before saying hey, want to f***? Lol 😝

[La****]

Not really a weird question. Men are generally more direct in their approach

[Deleted Member]

this is a great question! I’ve been thinking and I think the best way is to be direct.

[Go****]

Here is *** for a taxi, this night was amazing… oh sorry, I always running ahead.

[ey****]

I think a lot depends on the overall context

Like whether this is someone on the street (I don't think there's ever a good way) or if like... if it's someone in a fetish event or any other form of socialable circle - "Hey, I've seen you a few times but we've never actually spoke - I'm __________ " is a very good icebreaker.

[au****]

İt's hard

[ma****]

Easy can I get help then most people just jusdge on looks and I find it hard to be me :( any help would be appreciated

[KC****]

If someone finds the perfect answer, let me know. 😘

[So****]

Maybe bring up a movie or book and see how she reacts (or if she doesn't recognize it you can briefly explain it).
If her response is some version of "ew, gross" or "why would anyone go along with that." Then it is a rejection of Secretary or Kushiel's dart, not you.
If she is interested then you laughingly ask "would you ever do something like that?"

[Do****]

1) be physically attractive.

2) Approach them like your selling something. And my “something” I mean yourself, ie, bait them into conversation.

Smash 20 min later 😆

[Tw****]

It helps to be at least somewhat attractive be able to open a connection with something you may have noticed quick as you saw them maybe an like an I❤️dogs window decal on her car in a parking lot and saying something like “I like that sticker because I do to and I can be one too so it makes gettin a pretty girls like you that does to easy” you’re definitely getting a smile lil blush playful eye roll and a head shake but most importantly the door open too and then you can even jump right in there with the BDSM and say “you laugh but I’d put I’d collar you and keep you as my pet in a heartbeat…” Less than a minute you went 0 to 100 real quick and if she doesn’t come off as being offended you probably have some BDSM enjoyment ahead between the two of you and if she does or gives no reaction at all hope is not lost you can still spin damage control with quick “Jus kiddin I guess 50 shades of Grey wasn’t your cup of tea and you’re more of a vanilla latte kind of girl… and I was just being a flirt cause your cute but maybe you’d like to get a coffee with me sometime” She might not even catch the vanilla reference at all but you’ll know if she does and right there if she gives you the digits you’re getting the coffee date and keep it at coffee don’t offer dinner n a movie because you’ve already locked in your entrance into the topic of discussion for coffee when you order for her and ask if she still wants her the same old vanilla latte or perhaps did some reading since you last spoke lol now is when you’ll know for sure if she’s not catching the reference to the particular flavor and you can go on into explaining what that is and start to question and find out if she may or may not have kinks or at least be curious and maybe wanting to possibly experiment with the right person. Just tread lightly use word play don’t be gross… women truly love quick wit and a guy who has away with words and can use them like that it shows you’re intelligent and have a sense of humor. Don’t rush it if she’s showing openings with something like ever been cuffed stuffed spanked and spit on before? or you won’t ever get to that point maybe go with a reference to being a bad girl and having to get some cuffs or I did notice you had a nice ass may I could give it a little spank some time… those 2 things are probably the best leads because not all women are up for flogging or bondage but most do like a nice firm slap on the ass or open to having their hands tied. Stick to a go with the flow and playing off their reaction if they’re are taking the hints. If they aren’t then again you can point it out like the vanilla reference and explain then just ask if they ever or if they would just get it out of the way there if not you’ll have to constantly explain yourself and that’s a good way to not waste your time or start to set up an intro session and get to some play. Main things are be confident be easy and don’t be vulgar or you could be wearing he vanilla latte as she stomps off lol Vulgar works better on first intro for a shock value joke… in the grocery store at the deli… lean in and say “if you like cold cuts you should really try my hot salami sometime” rt there her reaction is gonna tell if you’re never going for even coffee or maybe if you tell her she can come get a free sample back at your place or even the back of the store some definitely fun and probably kinky sex if not she’s the one who’s ready to be trained from day 1. Either way a closed mouth don’t get fed and the worst they can say is not but you won’t ever know if you don’t ask and I do realize some find what I just mentioned easier than others especially by category ie a Dom like myself gets a thrill out of it and that I’m sure fits with the whole primal hunter prey stuff and a submissive guy is probably very shy and finds coming up with a way to politely ask to be waked on or pegged very hard lol and to that I can only say there comes a time where you just gotta do what ya gotta do or you won’t do nothin…🤷🏻‍♂️ I’ll close with saying I’m sure walking the malls as a *** on weekends asking cute girls for beeper numbers helps me now and also probably paid off more now than it did 25yrs ago lmao HappyHumpDay🐫folks 😜