Training kit?

[Deleted Member]

Hello. I hope this is the right place to ask this question. I am new to the lifestyle. I have wanted to participate for the longest time. I have started talking to several mistresses and the conversation has been good on both sides. All of them have agreed to take me on as a sub. But every single one then says I need to purchase a training kit to prove I am serious about this. These kits are expensive. They are close to a thousand dollars. Is this how it is done? It seems weird that a Mistress has no equipment. And I want to help because it should not fall completely on her for the session. Then the question becomes where I send the *** if I agreed to purchase the kit. It is with a trusted seller known by them and I have to send the *** through an app like Zelle. That is not the best scenario for me to spend that kind of ***. There is also the concern if this isn't for me after all. What happens if I have one session and I say no. I have a $1000 worth of equipment. Obviously the inverse is true. If I love it then I don't mind spending that ***. I am just wondering if this is the norm and this is how it is done before I agree to do it. Thank you so much for the help.

 

Shyguy

[Za****]

This is a SCAM no true Domme would ask for payment unless they’re a Pro Domme. In which case payment would be made for the actual session, not to buy a ‘training kit’. I honestly suggest you research this kink before trying to find a Domme!

[Me****]

What the hell is in this kit?
As a general rule, even though I have over 2.5 tonnes of sex toys, if these girls can’t do a proper job of dominating you without “equipment” then they probs aren’t worth the *** they are costing dude.

[ey****]

In short - this is a scam

The kits don't exist - you buy from the shop and nothing arrives, it's a fake shop.  The reason some fall for it is that it seems legit and the thought that, "Oh, even if this doesn't work out I will *have* the kit"

You won't, it's a scam.

---

On another spin.

One of the problems a lot of guys don't get round in their head is they have this idea of what a Mistress will look like as if she already has a full wardrobe, lots of toys, possibly even a home dungeon.   But if so, how did she pay for it all? Has she really spent thousands of pounds/dollars to play with strangers on the internet?

The ladies I know who do own a lot of stuff some work professionally (so this is when any form of pay-for-play comes in) or are very selective who they would play with or even disclose some of this to.

The reality is that ladies you meet might not have a lot of stuff, and they certainly wouldn't have bespoke subs for wouldbe subs they've not met.

But you can research reputable sellers and buy any toys, clothes, etc. you might want so that you own things.

[PeggableFucker]

Anyone who asks you for *** in any shape or form (gift cards etc...) or asks you to sign up to a shady website for any reason is definitely NOT a Dominant worthy of the name but most likely not even a woman.
Don't be an easy prey.
And don't hesitate to report them. They DO eject scammers here.

[Ch****]

Defo scam, they normally send a link to a site that looks very real but its all fake, they take the *** and run, ive seen others post about this too.
Most people buy their own stuff, but its a gradual build. Ive built up a collection over the years and most people i meet normally have a collection too, being new i suggest you think about what you are interested in and buy for you to keep, from sites you know and trust.
For instance the first things i got were a ball gag, some rope, tape, handcuffs, butt plug and clamps.
Once you have been with someone you know and trust of course they might suggest you buy something you both might want to use in play, but again you buy and keep, or they buy and they keep ect.

[ge****]

Scam scam scam - run away run away!!
.
Seriously the "Mistress" you are talking to is out for one thing and one thing only, and it's not your submission - "she" isn't a Mistress either, and there's a good chance "she" may not even be a woman, the *only* thing she is interested in is your *** and then laughing all the way to the bank at having suckered another victim.
.
They prey on guys like you who are desperate to get a taste of what they crave.
.
If you're happy to spend *** on getting the experience you crave, then my advice to you would be to seek out a reputable professional Domme in your area, one who you can check and verify ahead of meeting, one who will ask all the right questions about your experience, what you hope to get from it and more besides - and it won't cost you anywhere near $1000 - not sure of prices where you are but here in the UK you're looking at around £100 ($130) for an hour.
.
Obviously you may not want to pay for the experience, and if so, then you're back in the pool of trying to make connections with others through sites like this - just be sure to put your guard up against anything that seems too good to be true.

[ey****]

2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

it won't cost you anywhere near $1000 - not sure of prices where you are but here in the UK you're looking at around £100 ($130) for an hour.

The US tends to be a bit higher - the average is closer to $300ph in the US but there's a lot of factors drive this price up - usually how much she has to give to the 'house' she works from

The UK - it can be regional but there's very few as low as £100ph and some I can think of who are, that's for their time only and the person booking would be expected to cover anything like premises on top of that, and also travel.  So a lady I used to see was £100ph and I would usually book a premises on a day or overnight rate and use it for other things, then see her - she would also take £20 for travel : so a 3 hour session with her was £300 + dungeon (£200 for an overnight) + £20 travel was £520 so equivalent to around £170ph

A lot is regional but North-West you're looking circa £150ph.  Midlands circa £175ph. London £200ph+ 

But this is usually inclusive of travel and dungeon hire.  
Ironically, dungeons are more expensive to hire in Manchester (£50ph) than London (typically £40ph but block discounts sometimes available.  Say, 8 hours for £300).  

[ge****]

14 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

The US tends to be a bit higher - the average is closer to $300ph in the US but there's a lot of factors drive this price up - usually how much she has to give to the 'house' she works from

The UK - it can be regional but there's very few as low as £100ph and some I can think of who are, that's for their time only and the person booking would be expected to cover anything like premises on top of that, and also travel.  So a lady I used to see was £100ph and I would usually book a premises on a day or overnight rate and use it for other things, then see her - she would also take £20 for travel : so a 3 hour session with her was £300 + dungeon (£200 for an overnight) + £20 travel was £520 so equivalent to around £170ph

A lot is regional but North-West you're looking circa £150ph.  Midlands circa £175ph. London £200ph+ 

But this is usually inclusive of travel and dungeon hire.  
Ironically, dungeons are more expensive to hire in Manchester (£50ph) than London (typically £40ph but block discounts sometimes available.  Say, 8 hours for £300).  

Never having used a professional I wouldn't know the finer detail, so bow to your better knowledge. Was working off prices I've seen quoted on websites and by various ProDommes I follow on Twitter - either way the point remains the same, taking that option would be a lot cheaper than the OP was being asked for and you would actually get something for your ***.

[ReniMasks]

This is one of those scams that seems like it been going around bsdm spaces for a while now. I got hit by one on my first day here even! Fake Dom profiles pop up and then they spin this narrative and ask for your financial infos! This site is pretty good in catching them. These scammers run these scams on all bdsm sites.
As for pro Dom expecting escorty price range is reasonable, because that is what that basically is!

[ey****]

yeah, it's one of the older scams that feels like it has legitimacy to it because at the worst you have this "kit"

the other two that often come up that feel legit are

- the dungeon rental

they point you to a site to book a dungeon and they will meet you for unlimited play there.   except, of course, the dungeon doesn't exist - although often uses stolen pictures from a dungeon that does exist

- the membership

either "to the BDSM council" or some sort of membership that gives you access to multiple dungeons or parties - except, again, this doesn't exist

it feels more legit because of course some venues/etc *do* have memberships. Just, not the one the scammer is selling

And there is no BDSM council 

[Deleted Member]

I would like to thank everybody personally that replied. It has been so informative and you have all helped me so much. I also want to say the mistress is from a different site. I do not want people to think it was form here and tarnish this site. This site seems so much better than the other one. I did talk to her and told her I cannot buy them right now. She said that is fine but it will affect our sessions. She made it sound like I am not getting the full experience. I am not going to bother with her and my search continues. Once again thank you everyone

[ReniMasks]

one that tried to get me i just started to roleplay her into the ground lol, and yet she was very persistent! 
but yeah be careful out there! there are many scams that are going around and many have been very well rehersed over time!

[ey****]

a lot of scam scripts get bought and sold also - so you start to recognise scams by the same intro or start up

but certainly anyone who is quickly trying to get you off site or promises a dynamic quickly is likely to be pulling a scam

most that target men are usually "low" value but trying for a quick result ($1000 is a little higher than I've seen before - usually it's closer to the 100-150 mark)

[EmpressKK]

It's NOT normal. DON'T do it!

[Deleted Member]

I never heard of a training kit and am sub. No, doms I ever spoke to mention it