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So be honest, what am I doing wrong?

1G****

By 1G****
in Kink Academy

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1G****

1G****

Posted
Alright, so I am aware that I am probably not the most attractive person on the planet, but I wouldn't call myself a troll either, an ogre maybe but definitely not a troll, at least I think anyway.. That being said, I can't even seem to get a message back from someone that looks like they would be interesting to talk to.

Is it my looks? My profile? Should I just throw in thr towel and go live under a bridge? And try to eat goats as they cross?

Someone help me out here!

Deleted Member

Posted
Go to a munch! That is a very nice and easy way to get to know people and talk about this stuff!

Deleted Member

Posted
It’s all about that first message. Be cheeky, ask something that leaves it open for a cheeky response . Don’t jump straight into speaking about the kink and ask questions to get to know them as a person and their experiences on this site.

Deleted Member

Posted
10 hours ago, 1GiantDaddy said:

Alright, so I am aware that I am probably not the most attractive person on the planet, but I wouldn't call myself a troll either, an ogre maybe but definitely not a troll, at least I think anyway.. That being said, I can't even seem to get a message back from someone that looks like they would be interesting to talk to.

Is it my looks? My profile? Should I just throw in thr towel and go live under a bridge? And try to eat goats as they cross?

Someone help me out here!

I have the same problem. Although, if I am honest; the reasons I receive no interest are far more glaring than yours lol. 

Deleted Member

Posted
I feel you man.
Don’t lose hope

Long comment is long..

I think it’s due, in part, to the rather large amount of poor practice experienced by some people, mostly women, and the lack of respect, boundaries and consent sought by other people, mostly men. Fake Doms, incels and misogynistic types masquerading as practitioners of our art and beguiling / love bombing newcomers yet ultimately scarring them with their lack of altruism or focus on the other persons pleasure, safety and wishes.
In my experience it’s made most women I talk to cagey and dubious of my intent and I think I’m a pretty decent man :)

What can you do? However badly it affects you and I it affects those manipulated or ***d without consent more. Just makes me feel sad that our culture is so far out of the mainstream still that the ‘me too’ movement hasn’t had more of an impact.

Aha moving on 😅

Keep going brother - the right one is out here for you somewhere.
Maybe some new pics? Something you love man, some personality outside of the kink? Keep the faith !!
ge****

ge****

Posted
Skimming through your profile I don't think it's that, there's certainly plenty of detail - I didn't read it all admittedly but didn't spot any immediate red flags.
.
Looks are entirely subjective so whilst some may not be attracted to you, there will be those that are, so it's not that either.
.
The fact you're relatively new will be a factor, most single guys on sites like this will take time to find their feet and to make connections etc - a lot of people will shy away from relative newbies for *** of them being an unknown quantity or someone who may not be here after a while.
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Patience is certainly the key here.
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Also remember there are other ways to meet and interact with people, sending blind messages is not the only way to approach the site - use the forums or chat rooms, it may take time to get established but they're both great ways of making connections with others.
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Don't forget in person events/munches too - another way to meet people.
.
Finally you state you're an experienced dominant with 17 years experience - so draw on what you have done to meet people in the past.

Deleted Member

Posted
I don't think you are doing anything wrong (but I'm not very experienced so take my opinion with a grain of salt). You could do with more pictures. Pictures are what people see on the "timeline" and might get you more people looking at your profile in general. I also think you have a pretty specific vision for what you want based on your profile. It will take awhile for the right person to happen across you.
mo****

mo****

Posted
Bro hang in there, im new here, but im new back tp dating, its wild put there, last girl i was dating said i was the best dude she's dated in a long time. 2 days later ghosted lol. Dont give up!
Pl****

Pl****

Posted
I don't know who told you the internet was a good place to meet women. Women are often bombarded by more messages than they can answer, and have an abundance of options. I always suggest meeting women in person, because if you can't do that, you probably aren't going to have a good time on the internet either.
sp****

sp****

Posted
Question:. Do you have layers? Because ogres have layers.

Deleted Member

Posted
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. But your profile does ***t a pretty specific picture of what you want (that's a good thing, actually), which means the semi-random process that is "finding the one" is going to take longer simply because your criteria are narrow. I think you could also help yourself by posting pictures regularly, visuals are more intuitive and will pull more people towards your profile, increasing your chances of pulling someone who gets you. Also, you should post at different times, as different folks will be on.
pa****

pa****

Posted
Mannn dont be so hard on yourself! How are you with woman in real life? Do you work out? That can also help to create a better self image 💪🏽
Ac****

Ac****

Posted
keep in mind that this is the internet... lots of catfish and bots... not many real women... you can't let an app influence your self esteem. that'll take you to a very dark place.
I say this based off my own experience

Deleted Member

Posted
I get what you mean it happens to me also at times and leaves me scratching my head as to why.
na****

na****

Posted
It’s not you man. Unfortunately in the online dating game it’s all about numbers and first impressions. I had to message quite a few people before I got a response back and I’m just looking to start friendships first. Keep at it, eventually you will get a bite. My tip would be to find something on their profile that you connect with and make a smart or witty, possibly even sexy, comment about it. Just simply says hey comes across as you aren’t willing to give them the time to come up with something to get their attention how much would you be willing to do in a relationship.
Ch****

Ch****

Posted
Don’t take it personally. There are way more men than women on apps like this. A woman will sometimes get tens of messages a day, so unless you can really impress her, it is statistically unlikely you’ll find a match.

Try real life kinky meets in your area. It’s more 50/50 irl
at****

at****

Posted
What are you seeking? Men/women? What age? Appearances, do they seem to be in relation to yours? Demographics… just saying anyone I would think singles things out. But this app is funny. I get many likes/spanks and some messages. But I think most enjoy the word play rather then connection of in person. I could be wrong here tho.

Deleted Member

Posted
I don’t think your look has anything to do with the lack of response, and I don’t know your approach. The only thing I can think of is, I cannot think of any dominant or master “crying” for this kind of help. I’m not going to tell you a method in order to get replies, because there is no method. Instead, I’ll tell you how I proceed when I’m unhappy with the result I obtain, and you can do what you want with my words.
First of all, I’d ask myself: what is my priority? Obtaining a reply? A contact? A date? Action? In my case the answer is: be myself. I have my style, take it or leave it. Contact, date, they are not at the first place of the rank. What use would it be if, in order to get a reply, I have to be different than I truly am? Sooner or later, my truly self will pop up anyways, so: better don’t hide it and live with it.

I don’t like to show when I’m hurt or in difficulty. I might speak of it with someone really close to me. But making a public issue of my trouble… doesn’t sound like a dominant trait to me. Get yourself together, man. 😉

Just my 5 cents.

Deleted Member

Posted
Don't let it bother you. Let the attitude of "their loss, my gain" prevail. You never know, the universe has a funny way of putting the right people in our lives, and filtering out those that aren't in the long run.

I chased after this women one time like a schoolboy, heart aflutter. Back in the 80s when I was still into the Hardcore Punk thing..finding a cute girl in that scene back then was a RARE event, so obviously it was a challenge. Well, I ended up with her despite alot of roadblocks and obstacles and she turned out to be an absolute mental case and a horrible lay.
Needless to say, sometimes the chase isn't worth the catch.
Bi****

Bi****

Posted
Depends on what kind of women you are messaging. We (guys) know what kind of women will connect with us. You have to think about that too. If you are messaging a woman who is rated at a 10. She has the pick of the pool. But with that being said, I have been surprised with some of the hot women that have responded to me. So keep attempting that angle. Other than that, you may want to lower your standards.

We (guys) are a dime a dozen! You are a guppy, mixed in a pool of thousands of other guppies and barracuda. I cannot tell you how many messages I have sent out without a response. Best thing I can recommend is to continue sending out messages. Sure, it would be nice to get a response of no thanks. But I can see why women do not. I have spoken to women who have done that. Then they get the dude demanding to know why, dudes can't handle the rejection and then they go into name calling. So there is that possibility for a reason of women not responding.

Then think about when you write these women. What are you saying? Maybe you need to sell yourself and write something that is going to get their attention and have a desire to respond to you. Try a different approach in what you write. But you have to make that count, because that is your only chance! One shot. If you don't sell yourself on why she would want to respond. Then you have lost out.

Just my opinions. Take it for what it's worth and good luck.
co****

co****

Posted
I’ll tell you what you’re doing wrong! And honestly we are probably all doing it wrong as well. We are using a site that WE THINK has real females who might actually exist here and WE EXPECT some type of response.
Br****

Br****

Posted
I don't see any women commenting on this so I figured I'd throw my two cents in. I am a real woman with a real profile and I am a biological female.

Absolutely correct meeting people at munches is probably the best way to go. To get bigger bang for your buck you can meet a dozen people in a short period of time. Much more effective than trying to meet one-on-one.

Most of the time when I talk to men they want to get right into their fantasy they don't care what your name is, just will you do this or will you do that. I have all my likes out there. It never fails no matter how long my list is, I will always be asked if I would do something not on the menu. If it's not a hard limit and you do something in the heat of the moment and it isn't enjoyable to her, she'll let you know.

Talk to women as if you were talking to her in person. Show your personality and be honest.

I don't care what a man looks like there are certain things that bug me. Lots of things that men think are deal breakers are not deal breakers. I like a man to have hair or don't have hair. If you're sort of in-between fix it one way or the other. Or be bald and own it, confidence is key.

A definite deal-breaker though is nasty grill. If your teeth are in bad repair or just ready to fall out. I can't I don't want to kiss that. When you take your pictures smile just a bit, and don't show us what the inside of your nostrils look like because you're holding the camera so far on the floor as if everyone needs to look up to you. Above all else when you take a photo take a look around your room that you're in.

I also totally understand that big men tall men struggle. Many people find them to be intimidating. I'm 5 foot 4 and I'm not intimidated by somebody because they're taller than or are bigger than me. I prefer it.

Deleted Member

Posted
I will be honest, your personal ad is extremely off putting to me personally... Comments about dressing for what God gave you and hygiene? Condescending. Your profile looks fine tho, and there's nothing wrong with your picture
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