Fet Is Going To Get You Laid

[AKA_Copper]

Fet is Going to Get You Laid

Yeah, you read that right. It’s going to happen, and here’s how it’s going to happen.
It's just not how you think.

You’ve created an account and you’re viewing a bunch of kinky memes and photos of sexy-looking, kinky people. Sometimes they’re doing sexy-looking, kinky things. Things you might want to do if you had the chance.

You click ‘love’ on some pictures. You post comments on some of the pictures. Things like “You look so hot!” or “Dammmm I wish that was me!”

Your comments appear below the photos, but, oddly, the photo owner doesn’t message you back to schedule a tryst.

After a bit of pondering, you change course. You seize the initiative and begin messaging the photo owners directly. Since this is much more labour-intensive, you make the messages pretty short. Like “Heyyy! You look HOT!! You DTF?” For an extra efficiency, you copy and paste the same message to multiple people. I mean, this is the Age of Technology! Obviously none of them chat to each other so they will be none the wiser.

Mysteriously, your efforts are met with silence. Most block you. A few have elicited curt responses or maybe some hostility. One even called you a creep, which is entirely fair, but it's not the response you imagined, so you retreat to your lair for some more solitary pondering.

At this point, many in a similar situation lose hope and become bitter. But not you! For reasons known only to them, the Kink Fairies smile upon your journey, and you have an epiphany! You have suddenly realised what so many happy, actively kinky people have in common.

Friendship.


You find a munch in your area and you RSVP. You experience some trepidation as the date approaches. You realise that by showing up, others there will realise you are kinky. But you also realise it doesn’t matter because they are also kinky.

Courageously you appear at the designated location. You feel a bit awkward, but you now understand that trepidation and awkwardness are the currencies with which self growth are paid. The other people there are all wearing clothes and they look like anyone you may see in Sainsburys.

You introduce yourself and make some generalised vanilla conversation. You are polite and reserved, and avoid making any comments that might land you in trouble with HR at work. You talk to everyone, not just the people that make your groin tingle. You listen to conversations about consent and safety, and you ask relevant questions.

You learn the Fet names of some other attendees. At this point you may have to apologise for some of those messages you sent earlier, so you admit you were rude and didn’t know any better. You now see that many people on Fet actually know each other. You return home and congratulate yourself for your courage.

The next day, you refrain from messaging other munch attendees with sexually explicit propositions, because you now know that would be inappropriate. Instead, you politely ask if you can send a friend request and then perhaps you become Fet friends.

Congratulations, you are no longer a creep. You are cultivating patience. You attend another munch. Some of the now-familiar people are there, and also some new ones. The experience is easier this time. You continue to repeat this process. You become familiar to your local kink community and, because you behave appropriately, people are comfortable with your presence. A couple of acquaintances are evolving into actual friendships.

At some point in your journey, on a schedule determined only by the Kink Fairies, you meet a fascinating, hot person. You may not know it immediately but this fascinating, hot person finds you fascinating and hot in return. They feel especially comfortable and safe with you because you put in the effort and are a trusted member of the community. This time, the message you send is received very positively. Flirting ensues.

Soon, the two of you are having so much wild, kinky sex that your head spins and you wonder if you are dreaming. You spend weekends in bed alternating between 🦆'ing, watching Netflix and ordering food deliveries. At the next munch, you hold hands under the table. Later, you both change your Fet relationship status.

Together, you take some hot, kinky photos and post them to Fet. Many of your friends click ‘love’ on your photos. Someone in your area browses your profile and sees your photos. They also ‘love’ your photos and leave a comment:

“Dammmm I wish that was me!”

[nsfwgoddess_xo]

i feel like i just strolled through someone’s life..

[Catsailor69]

So good, true and funny CK. The “Kink Faries”? ROFL!!!
Catchy headline and yet, it is so hard to believe that some really won’t understand what you are saying in a nice way. Yep, we are people behind our profiles, not kink dispensers or ATMs.
It’s always fun to see someone at a munch or party and later at the grocery store or somewhere public. Eyes bulge, face turns red and you just walk on like nothing has happened. We do enjoy our lifestyle and perhaps the most fun is knowing what others would never suspect.

[Deleted Member]

40 minutes ago, nsfwgoddess_xo said:

i feel like i just strolled through someone’s life..

My life, I m not a creep but how do you tell others that. Social media has improved communication but it has also made it harder

[Deleted Member]

I always enjoy your post’s. Thank you for your time, knowledge and humour in writing them🙏🏻

[Deviant_Ric]

Clever. And potentially life-affirming for someone. One of your best so far CopperKnob 😊

[Da****]

Great post...I hope people learn from it....

[AKA_Copper]

7 minutes ago, Nastycuntspanker said:

Clever. And potentially life-affirming for someone. One of your best so far CopperKnob 😊

Well, thanks ☺️

[AKA_Copper]

1 minute ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

Great post...I hope people learn from it....

We can hope

[TheBookCollector]

28 minutes ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

Great post...I hope people learn from it....

Unfortunately the people that could learn from it dont come onto the forum.

[ey****]

I did kinda skip a lot of the initial creepiness - but, yeah, that is how things worked for me.

Incidentally - I often say, that, particularly on Fetlife I got sick of all the guys who wrote "I wish that was me!" on people's photos and stuff and so I spent a little time researching and learning how to make it me.   Probably not the healthiest reason, but, hey ho. 

[Da****]

1 hour ago, TheBookCollector said:

Unfortunately the people that could learn from it dont come onto the forum.

So true...so true... unfortunately

[ey****]

See; I always feel the people who do need to read it - will

of course there's plenty of people who rush in, arseholes, entitled pricks, those who will never learn - they're pretty much a write-off whatever is said or done.  Perhaps, one day, a set of circumstances will slot in place for them, but until then they make it harder for themselves.

but then there are those who WANT to learn.   There are those that perhaps are at risk of slipping who DO see the positive posts and learn from them.   And I think those are the people this is the audience for.

Of course let's not gloss - there are miserable people who go to munches and sit in the corner complaining folk won't interact or play with them and that's like anything else and that of course, it's possible but unlikely things will fall in place quickly.  But, they do.

[Deleted Member]

Very much on point apart from I avoided the creep stage since I'm not a creep. Three munches in and starting to make connections. Loving the concept of the kink fairies haha. Great post.

[LustAndLogic]

Nothing against munches and mingling with the community, but not everyone sees kink as a lifestyle and wants to live it that way. Surely being an online creep is not the best strategy and some people will find it easier to trust someone they or people they know have already met in real life, but in the end, it's just a matter of patience, luck and not being an asshole, like on any other online dating platform. IMHO and YMMV of course.

[AKA_Copper]

9 hours ago, LustAndLogic said:

Nothing against munches and mingling with the community, but not everyone sees kink as a lifestyle and wants to live it that way. Surely being an online creep is not the best strategy and some people will find it easier to trust someone they or people they know have already met in real life, but in the end, it's just a matter of patience, luck and not being an asshole, like on any other online dating platform. IMHO and YMMV of course.

I literally only learnt what TDLR meant this past weekend and now you're confusing me with YMMV?!

[Da****]

9 hours ago, LustAndLogic said:

Nothing against munches and mingling with the community, but not everyone sees kink as a lifestyle and wants to live it that way. Surely being an online creep is not the best strategy and some people will find it easier to trust someone they or people they know have already met in real life, but in the end, it's just a matter of patience, luck and not being an asshole, like on any other online dating platform. IMHO and YMMV of course.

Just because you go to a munch doesn't mean that you are want to live kink as a lifestyle... its just a place to meet like minded people.

[Deleted Member]

There's a lot of assumptions in this posting which are not at all true. 

[ey****]

11 hours ago, LustAndLogic said:

Nothing against munches and mingling with the community, but not everyone sees kink as a lifestyle and wants to live it that way. Surely being an online creep is not the best strategy and some people will find it easier to trust someone they or people they know have already met in real life, but in the end, it's just a matter of patience, luck and not being an asshole, like on any other online dating platform. IMHO and YMMV of course.

I don't feel munches are the only option

but, quite - there is a lot of people there who have a whole different relationship and experience with kink and it can bring many people's stories together

But still

not being a creep online is certainly a good idea - the kinda problem is that a lot of people actually have assorted creepy behaviours they don't acknowledge or lack awareness of

that also placing too much in, or dismissing so much as luck - without actually making steps to improve their own luck - or leaving things to wild odds

I think actually you could replace munches to being any element of the community which includes online forums - and - that yep, participation and interacting gets you noticed (although, in some cases not always positively as some users have found out on one site or another)

And it might be again - like... ok, no... I don't want to go to munches, I don't want to go to events, I don't want to partake in discussions - I just want a partner who is an ordinary partner but every couple of weeks we have some form of kinky play time - and that's totally valid.  

Which then requires only messaging people who want the same.

[ProfessorCalm]

Thanks for sharing. Really great read. I'm new to Fet. Can I ask what Munches means. I assume it's a fet meet-up group?

[ey****]

2 hours ago, ProfessorCalm said:

Can I ask what Munches means. I assume it's a fet meet-up group?

yes. they are socials attended by folk who are kinky

most regions have many per month

[ProfessorCalm]

Thanks for the tip. Where can I find the socials in London?

[ey****]

3 minutes ago, ProfessorCalm said:

Thanks for the tip. Where can I find the socials in London?

I think there was a full fetish calendar for London

but otherwise just google "find a munch"
 

London has several most nights.

[ProfessorCalm]

Thanks

[ProfessorCalm]

I'll take a look