Don’t let me… fall for you

[Fa****]

I can’t help it. I’m a hopeless romantic. I’d like to fall head over heels for someone and have that feeling reciprocated. 

Maybe it’s because of that I find that I fall for people easily. That doesn’t make my feelings any less valid, but it does mean I end up hurt a lot. 

So, in defence, I tell new people I begin talking with to not let me fall for them. They can’t control my feelings in fairness but it often means I learn something about them and when I inevitably begin to like them too much it gives them an out. 

I think it likely that what I want is not for someone to agree to my demand. Simply for them to say, let’s see what happens or no I can’t do that, if we end up having feelings for each other then so be it. 

I understand it’s different for everyone but for me D/s, BDSM, play, whatever inherently involves my feelings. I need an emotional and mental connection with someone in order to let my guard down a little. And as soon as your words have an affect on my body I know I’m doomed to “like” you. So perhaps what I’m looking for someone to say to my demand is “…this involves feelings for me too. If we move to playing or anything more formal it means I feel something for you. We’ll work it out together and as we go along but don’t immediately put an ”end” on something that could be amazing.”

Maybe I’m stupid, maybe I’m desperate, maybe I’m emotionally ***, maybe I’m needy and crazy. But at the end of the day I’m me. I’m worth something and I don’t really want to invest my time in someone who will NEVER want me as more than a play/fuck buddy or a FWB. 

Believe it or not after reading this, I don’t want someone to declare undying love for me or make promises to me. I do want someone to be open to a relationship developing. 

So, if we start talking in any depth, if I open up to you or feel a connection I hope it’s mutual. If I agree to a request for some element of control or give you my number or miss you when you’re busy it’s because I’ve already started to like you as more than a chat friend. 

If you are just looking for someone to “use”/fuck/play with/train/make you feel better about yourself please just be upfront with me. I can still chat to you and encourage you in meeting someone right for you. But it’s unlikely to be me. I’m aware that closes me off to a LOT of people, I’m also aware that this will scare many people off but I wanted to be as honest and transparent as I could. 

Love, X

[CopperKnob]

Get out of my head! 🤣

[Ar****]

Speechless... all I'm going to say is thank you for sharing some of the disarming and *** honesty that we could all do to have a little more of in our lives, giving and receiving. 

Edited November 11, 2022 by Aranhis

[SpikeySpart]

I'm only fairly new to this but from my personal view I can't wrap my head around how not to build a connection as part of creating the dynamic. Very commendable that you are open and upfront about it, have the courage put it out there, knowing full well you may get hurt along the way.
Makes perfect sense to me, love the post
.

[Deleted Member]

Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds and marks
Any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of ***, take a lot of ***
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts
Ooh, ooh, love hurts 💔
(Love Hurts)😢

[Fa****]

1 hour ago, kiseu said:

Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds and marks
Any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of ***, take a lot of ***
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts
Ooh, ooh, love hurts 💔
(Love Hurts)😢

The thing is, I don’t believe it should x

[Fa****]

23 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Get out of my head! 🤣

You get out of my head 😝😘

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Freetobare said:

The thing is, I don’t believe it should x

Happy Birthday.🎂🎉 I agree with you, but the song "Love Hurts" popped in my head.🙈

[Fa****]

27 minutes ago, kiseu said:

Happy Birthday.🎂🎉 I agree with you, but the song "Love Hurts" popped in my head.🙈

The birthday isn’t for a good few weeks yet but thank you. 
 

🤣

[lo****]

I can relate. VERY much. It wasn't until recent years I learned what Demisexual was.. and it was a light bulb moment for me.

[MrJim]

It’s perfectly natural to feel the way you do. Don’t worry just enjoy it.