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Talking about ''it''


Moonlight66

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I used to have the same problem I can help I understand it 100% and I found away to get over it it was vary difficult to do
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I began to understand that anxiety is a form of ***. When I recognized that, I asked my self, what am I afraid of?
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Then I looked back at my *** when the event passed to see how right or wrong my *** was. After several times doing this, usually my ***s were wrong.
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I look at the *** what really happened and could see my ***s weren't that true. I
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I was able to yell my self to stop wasting my time with the ***s and the anxiety slowly l
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I think that you need to talk to someone trust worthy that values discretion as much as you do , but from what i can see maybe people here are open and discreet about this stuff as well not sure i joined recently
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Shouldnt view your kink as a stigma or something to be ashamed of. I live in a fairly small town where everyone waves and knows eachother. If they are going to judge you, I hope they dont have any skelletons they are hiding either. Best way is to not view kinks as something bad to be ashamed of. Imo
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Personally I would say take your time easing into the situation that way you have a clear mind and end up avoiding the over thought of what if and start having your mind fed into the anxiety aspect of it. Eventually you'll come to learn you shouldn't really care what others think of you if it's to benefit yourself and your wants in life
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Thats hard, i feel you specially if your a woman , i like my privacy too, my advise is to play with someone a lil further from your town who you can meet halfway. Just to prevent judgement coz it can be stressful to deal with bunch of negative people. I know this advise can be a bit different but for people who have anxiety its the best. You cant control how people will react and what they will say, 2 things you can do, ignore (this is gonna be hard coz they wont stop talking shit and you will be triggered) or remove yourself from the environment and do your kink somewhere else in peace.
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Start talking with someone on line and build a friendship and trust then see where it goes from there
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Remember that your small town isn’t your only community. This is a community as well, and one where everyone already embraces that kink can be (and for most of us IS) completely normal. Build connections in the forums, so you can ease in. If you like someone’s perspective, message them and build supportive friendships. Look for munches far enough from your town to protect your privacy and see if there’s a regional community of people who will support and not judge you. Good luck! 

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Hi. I feel the same way. I unfortunately suffer from anxiety attacks, as well. I’m easy to talk to tho, and feel free to reach out if you ever want to. Hope you feel better.
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You can do your activities in a city nearby or find an hotel in your city and meet him there
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Breath communicate effectively and don't be embarrassed of who you are
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You are so young, i get it!
It takes time, alot of time to learn to trust people and you will make mistakes sometimes but its all part of building your personality/character and you will get stronger and wiser along the way.
Im 46 and spent 20 years with a woman who didnt even want any part of my kinky fun and ***d me instead but now iv been single 4 years and as much as i really want someone now, i am not settling for second best.
Take your time and be honest and open and if you feel someone isnt right walk away and start again.
Most of your anxiety is thinking or worrying to much about things that may not even happen or lack of experience.
My ex suffered from generalised anxiety disorder and borderline and an alcoholic so i have some knowledge with mental health issues.
Good luck and i hope i helped in someway and feel free to add me if you ever want to chat.
Take care 😘
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Small towns are hard. Finding a Dom that understand your anxiety and has a willingness to move slowly will be hard. Make sure moving slowly is a soft limit for you so you can build trust with each other. Don’t feel the need to rush in because it is something you want. You have to truly know the person.
YorkshireBiker
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I have anxiety issues too and can’t discuss my wants and needs, I’m not really in a position to offer much advice but I will say this; I’ve been in a monogamous marriage/relations since I was 18 and I’m now in my 40’s. I’ve never had the confidence to have these conversations but I joined this site to work it and I hope to discuss things with my wife soon. Don’t just keep waiting silently like I did. 

  • 1 month later...
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I have anxiety too. it's not so much the anxiety it's your confidence. I shake my leg a lot and that don't kill nothing with anyone I had next to me. It's your confidence
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Exposure is a therapy. Take the discussion aspect Online, and practice, ideally voice conversations in a suitable environment. Try to define your Anxiety causes and find ways to explore them. A psychologist or other professional is suited to helping you explore this initially, just be honest with what you want and why.
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