BDSM Questions from a Newbie

[Sweet_Chocolate]

Hi everyone, not sure if anyone would be generous enough to offer some much appreciated guidance and/or expertise? However, I am new here so have several questions which if answered, should steer myself and fellow newbies in the right direction (what a mouthful) 🤣

Thanks in advance to anyone who offers to answer a/some/all question(s).... let the fun begin 😘

1) If you like someone’s profile what is the best approach to get noticed, should I send them a private message, or should I wait for someone to take an interest in me?

2) I’m open to pleasuring others and receiving pleasure, should I be bold/outspoken with my desires and fantasies or should I internalise?

3) How likely is it that I will actually get to meet someone from this website (%), would I be better off simply going to a bar/club and see what happens?

4) Does having a VIP/Premium membership significantly increase my chances of success (closing the deal F2F), or does nominal variance exist between membership levels?

5) If I really want someone to satisfy me because our profiles align strongly, should I up the ante or play it safe with generalised messages/picture sharing?

6) Where can I find the upcoming BDSM nights in London to meet like-minded people who want to explore and potentially realise their sexual fantasies?

Feel free to send me a friend request. I’m very open minded and am actively looking to make friends 👫 

Sweet_Chocolate

[on****]

I'd say send a message (one message) which is original, show you've taken time to actually read their profile, don't use a generic copy and paste message. Be respectful, don't tell them what you'd like to do to them, and don't send a dick pick because chances are they already know what one looks like ;)

[Deleted Member]

You're a bit spoilt for choice in London, it's a city of sin and debauchery lol. I'd say fulfilling your fantasies is a strong possibility. Lots have formed relationships through this site and guess its a case of getting out what you put in. Like anything though, there are no guarantees.

[ey****]

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1) If you like someone’s profile what is the best approach to get noticed, should I send them a private message, or should I wait for someone to take an interest in me?

Everyone is different but ultimately SOMEONE has to make the first move.  If you're waiting for someone to contact you - then - aside from an ad/profile what are you doing to get noticed?

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2) I’m open to pleasuring others and receiving pleasure, should I be bold/outspoken with my desires and fantasies or should I internalise?

I think it's important to not hide your desires - but sometimes being too in-your-face with them can make it more about the fantasy than the person.  Tread wisely.

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3) How likely is it that I will actually get to meet someone from this website (%), would I be better off simply going to a bar/club and see what happens?

I feel... it's always worth keeping options open.  Certainly it seems foolish to place all your eggs in one basket.  

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4) Does having a VIP/Premium membership significantly increase my chances of success (closing the deal F2F), or does nominal variance exist between membership levels?

check the features and see which ones give you what you want

3 hours ago, Sweet_Chocolate said:

5) If I really want someone to satisfy me because our profiles align strongly, should I up the ante or play it safe with generalised messages/picture sharing?

I have no idea what you even mean on that

 

3 hours ago, Sweet_Chocolate said:

6) Where can I find the upcoming BDSM nights in London to meet like-minded people who want to explore and potentially realise their sexual fantasies?

there are a load of fetish clubs, munches and events in London.  I was at THREE last weekend (a munch, a club and a kink film/awards festival) but a lot depends on entirely what you're into.   I've been recommending Club DVS as they do munches, events and workshops and list other events 

[MistressWhilplash]

Personally I haven't met anyone from this site yet as chat only occurs. I prefer to meet for coffee then Munch etc. I like to know the person before kink. So it depends what your focus is. Google the Fetish Calendar to see Events and Munches listed. LAM I'd good for socialiding and buying in new Toys and fetish clothes as it's a monthly Sunday Market. Fetish clubs cater to different aspects of Fetish. Some the clothes only or sex only. Some all aspects so it depends what you seek in terms of fetish and thrills

[Mo****]

On 3/24/2019 at 12:18 PM, Sweet_Chocolate said:

Hi everyone, not sure if anyone would be generous enough to offer some much appreciated guidance and/or expertise? However, I am new here so have several questions which if answered, should steer myself and fellow newbies in the right direction (what a mouthful) 🤣

Thanks in advance to anyone who offers to answer a/some/all question(s).... let the fun begin 😘

1) If you like someone’s profile what is the best approach to get noticed, should I send them a private message, or should I wait for someone to take an interest in me?

2) I’m open to pleasuring others and receiving pleasure, should I be bold/outspoken with my desires and fantasies or should I internalise?

3) How likely is it that I will actually get to meet someone from this website (%), would I be better off simply going to a bar/club and see what happens?

4) Does having a VIP/Premium membership significantly increase my chances of success (closing the deal F2F), or does nominal variance exist between membership levels?

5) If I really want someone to satisfy me because our profiles align strongly, should I up the ante or play it safe with generalised messages/picture sharing?

6) Where can I find the upcoming BDSM nights in London to meet like-minded people who want to explore and potentially realise their sexual fantasies?

Feel free to send me a friend request. I’m very open minded and am actively looking to make friends 👫 

Sweet_Chocolate

1. Like a few pics, leave some comments, and if you're feeling bold leave a "spank"

2. Lay it out there on YOUR OWN profile and don't bombard anyone privately with it.

3. Bars might not have kinky fetish folks, but unless someone is near to you or there's a local event the chances of meeting someone here are slim to none.

4. No.

5. Profiles are not the end all of chemistry.  Play it safe and get to know the person through messaging until you're given the go-ahead.

6. https://www.fetish.com/events