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Advice for a submissive newbie

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I'm new to all this it love the excitement of even the thought of a woman dominating me any advice for newbies anyone? 


Get to know what you want and don't want. Just because you're a submissive doesn't mean you don't have limits. Keep an open mind, things may surprise you!

Here are a couple good articles in the magazine you should read:





Check out books by Elizabeth Cramer, good place to start.

  • 4 years later...

Research is always a good step 1. What do you want out of the relationship? 2. What do you want from her? 3. What are you willing to do for her? 

Once you've gotten a rough draft, look it up. You want her to punish you? Find out how and get the supplies. You want a 24/7 dynamic? Look up what that entails. You want to give up all control? What do you want that to look like? You got it, look it up. 

Rule #1 for any form of play: CONSENT.

Only things that have been discussed and consented to prior to any scene are ok.

No asking during a scene when she's already in character.

No asking without waiting for an answer.

No coercing a no to a yes.

Consent is either enthusiastically given or not. And it can be taken away at ANYTIME.

If you're one pump from finishing and she says, "stop". That's it. Stop. Better to have blue balls now than physically or psychologically harm someone.


I'm just a lesbian sub passing through. Hope you don't mind.  

June 11, 2017, QOE said:

Check out books by Elizabeth Cramer, good place to start.

Sorry the Elizabeth Kramer books are dross, they are at best cookie cutter books that are one persons interpretation and give a misleading interpretation of the lifestyle as they do no regognise the diversity or ability for a submissive to say NO or have limits, and at 60-70 pages they dont go into any detail.

My personal view on books that give a good all round idea of the scene are BDSM are SM101 by Jay Weisman, and Learning to Kneel by Master M Hatter. The former is a but dated it was written pre-internet but the principles all still hold in how to stay safe.

NOTE : if a Domme asks for a tribute, usually paypal transfer or an item from an amazon wishlist (or other) in order to consider you, and before you meet in person or agree to anything tell them to get lost.

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