I have a problem with the Michael Makai books, given his history.with law enforcement.and trafficking charges, which granted didnt stick due to a technicallity, but thats still a red flag.

Munches and other events will be able to point you to local classes or have people willing to mentor you.

I would suggest fetlife (Aka FL) and then find your local munch and meet people in a social setting.
For rope bondage Clovers Rope Bottoming guide is a good start, its a free pdf download, just google it a d you will find it.
Researxh the hell out of red flags.amd how.to spot them. Ask.questions Read more… (and youve made a great start asking here) in forums here and on fetlife, especially in the newbies & novices on FL as well as this forum

Pointing potential betties at this thread.

Or maybe youre approaching people wrong. I get replies from people and have good chats.

Honestly the overall package, do we get on as people, shared interests both vanilla and kink and many other things.
.
So many here are fantasists on both sides of the slash. With unrealistic expectations, and lack of understanding of what is involved.
.
D/s relationships are about more than Sex, Read more… in fact sex is just a small part of the dynamic, just like it is in a vanilla relationship.

Very true, i phrased my response incorrectly however, statistically speaking the majority of dominants are men.

Not evil just a little more twisted when it comes to adding that little extra edge.....

If you wanted to mess with the sub, leave out the ear plugs, and slip the maid some money to knock on the door, open it and shout house keeping without coming in then you pretend to be the maid cleaning the bathroom including cleaning around her.

I agree there should be more males posting and not just about kinks amd fetishes but about how people can check someone is safe, how to spot red flags, basic first meeting etiquette etc.

This is also true of Dominants too often people fail to be theirselves instead becoming some pastiche of what they think a dominant is in order to capture a submissive.

Total scam dont do it as you'll never see the money again and hqve your card or bank account drained.

As the dom/top youre the one supposed to be in control so you make decision to cease. If you are incapable of controlling yourself rising to provocation when you know that its beyond negotiated pre-agreed consent are you really fit to be in the lifestyle?

I apporach informed consent by asking if my partner knows what X is, and the dangers that go with it.
Eg Rope suspension, if my partners new to rope bondage i have her read up on the subject including what can go wrong with various online guides and then go through things like identifying nerve Read more… damage, bloodflow restrictions, how she has to communicate.

How is it dangerous? I was replying to a point that raised the issue of being trained to be dominant and stated that there is an also an implied dominance due to postio held, but that does not make them dominant in regards to the lifestyle.
.
In short you can teach people to be dominant but that Read more… does not make them dominant.