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Our Guide to Facesitting & the Power of Queening

Facesitting, or queening, is a kink that’s been in the news recently, with numerous tabloids taking a startlingly positive attitude to it. While this is all good news, we focus on the power of facesitting, either as an intense part of dominance and total submission, or just as a bit of fluffy naughty fun.

In 2014, when the UK government added facesitting to a list of sexual acts too appalling to appear in porn produced in the UK, facesitting was chosen by protesters to symbolise their defiance of restrictions on consensual kink material.

 

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At the time, many of the practices threatened with banning were those which emphasise female pleasure, and facesitting and queening are definitely activities associated with female domination. The authorities implied that it was a safety concern, but femdom - and anything which involves women’s sexual autonomy - has always had more power to outrage and scare ‘traditionalists’

 

Fetish.com Team Insight

 

Curious to dive deeper? Queening – also known as facesitting – is a BDSM practice where the dominant partner straddles the submissive’s face, often in a sexual context. Whether you explore queening in bondage or enjoy it as a playful facesitting kink, remember: clear communication and agreed-upon safety signals are key.

 

Join the conversation – Share your queening & facesitting experiences with like-minded kinksters in our Fetish.com Forum. Connect, ask questions, and explore new ideas together. 

 

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Facesitting pleasure & queening

Facesitting is a game that gives a lot of pleasure to both participants. For a pussy-worshipper, having your beloved’s juicy wet quim rubbed all over your face so you are embraced by the warmth and the wetness, the scent and the taste of her, can be absolute ecstasy. Feeling you exist only to give her pleasure, feeling owned and subjugated, also turns up the heat for many submissives. 

 

image of facesitting. woman sitting on a man's face
Facesitting. Image: nloik  Flickr Creative Commons
 

For the one on top, there are also hot connotations in having your sub literally beneath you, unable to get away unless and until you decide the job’s done. You can get into all those power fantasies about your cunt being the life *** of the universe, and being adored as the goddess you are – if that’s the kind of thing that floats your boat. Or you can just relax and enjoy a really good licking with no obligation to do anything other than take your pleasure from that ministering tongue.

How to enjoy facesitting safely in BDSM and queening play

To be fair, facesitting is one of the riskier things you can do in a BDSM scenario. It has elements of breath control and suffocation; therefore the one being sat upon needs to be able to signal discomfort in some way – tapping out is a sensible method, or perhaps pinching the sitter’s bum or thighs. There needs to be a strong element of trust, and plenty of pre-negotiation. However, that’s true of pretty much any play which involves restraint, or impact. It’s also best avoided if the one being sat on has a cold or any other breathing issues.
 

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If you’re the one who’s going on top, take your time getting into position. It might be a hot fantasy to throw your victim down and then crash-land on that excited face, but it’s not advisable, particularly for beginners. If you’re both excited by the idea of the sat-on - one being restrained by more than just the power of your pussy - and you want to tie hands or feet, then you will need to agree another signal that can be used if a break is needed. You could leave one foot free:  three kicks against the bed/couch/floor as the equivalent of ‘Red/Amber’. Another method people opt for when the sub is gagged and immobile is to have them hold something like a bunch of keys and drop whatever it is if they need to stop.
 

Ready to find your perfect play partner? Whether you’re curious about queening in bondage or exploring the facesitting kink for the first time, meet open-minded people who share your desires.

 

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The benefits of a Queening chair

Using a queening chair can reduce the risk further, and it can also be more comfortable for the one doing the facesitting. A queening chair, also known as a queening stool or sometimes a smother box, is a specially made piece of furniture that makes facesitting easier. They come in a variety of designs: you can get a queening chair that looks like something out of anyone’s most wonderful dark, gothic, dungeon fantasies, or you can have a bright plastic job which can be easily passed off to nosy visitors as a makeup stool.


image of a queening chair
Queening stool. Image: Mistress Anahita. Flickr Creative Commons 

In the process of researching this article, I had a chat with Squirt By Design, who make quite a range of queening chairs, and discovered that some come with wedge shapes or suspended headrests that you can adjust so that both sub and domme are in the best and most comfortable position. I also found – for those of you who are on a bit of a budget but well-equipped with practical skills – that you can go to Etsy and buy downloadable plans for building a queening chair of your own.

Keep the heat in your pocket.

Chat, match, and explore queening, facesitting, and more – wherever you are.


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All in all, you can play this kink either as intense dominance and total submission, or just as a bit of fluffy naughty fun, depending on the dynamic you and your partner prefer.


Written by Madamez, veteran pervert, writer of erotica, top/dominant, fond of rope, impact play and experimentation. 

 

Let us know if you like facesitting and how hard you like it, whether or not you prefer a queening chair or just getting naked and going for it!

Ask Fetish.com: your kinky questions on queening & facesitting answered


What is queening in BDSM?

Queening – also known as facesitting – is a BDSM practice where the dominant partner straddles the submissive’s face, usually for oral-genital or oral-anal pleasure. In a queening fetish dynamic, it’s not just about the physical act – it’s about complete control, erotic power exchange, and worship of the dominant’s body.


Is facesitting the same as queening?

Almost.Queening usually refers to cunnilingus-focused facesitting in a femdom context, while facesitting can be any variation – including anal play. In BDSM scenes, queening is often more ritualised, with a clear goddess-and-worshipper vibe.


Why do people enjoy the facesitting kink?

Because it’s raw, intimate, and dripping with power play. For subs, being pinned under their Domme’s body – surrounded by her scent, taste, and weight – can be pure bliss. For Dommes, it’s the thrill of having their sub completely under control, taking pleasure without giving anything back unless they choose to.


What is queening in bondage play?

Queening in bondage combines facesitting with restraint – ropes, cuffs, or specialized furniture that keep the sub locked in position. It heightens the intensity, removes their ability to move, and shifts the focus entirely to the Domme’s pleasure. Always agree on non-verbal safety signals before you start.


How can I practice facesitting safely in BDSM?

  • Talk first: Set boundaries and safe words.
     
  • Agree on signals: For breath play, have a physical “stop” signal like tapping three times or dropping an object.
     
  • Go slow: Especially for beginners – ease into the position rather than full weight straight away.
     
  • Take breaks: For longer sessions, a queening chair can increase comfort and safety.

 

What is a queening chair or smotherbox?

A queening chair (or facesitting throne) is a low seat with an opening that gives the sub access to the Domme’s genitals while she sits comfortably above them. A smotherbox is a more intense piece of bondage furniture that holds the sub’s head in place – sometimes with padding, restraints, or even locks – for total immobility during play.


Can facesitting include oral-anal play?

Yes – many kinksters enjoy combining the facesitting kink with rimming or anal worship. Hygiene and consent are crucial here. Some fetish scenes go further with breath control, flatulence play, or even *** – but these are advanced kinks and require high trust and negotiation.


Is facesitting safe for everyone?

No. Anyone with breathing issues, colds, or circulatory problems should be cautious. In BDSM scenes involving restraint or breathplay, trust between partners is absolutely essential.


Is queening a common fetish?

Definitely. The queening fetish is popular worldwide in femdom and BDSM communities – from playful bedroom kink to intense professional sessions. Its mix of intimacy, dominance, and taboo keeps it high on many wishlists.


Where can I find partners into facesitting and queening?

Right here on Fetish.com. Join our forum to share your queening fantasies, explore profiles in the app, and connect with kinksters who crave the same kind of play – whether you want to be on the throne or under it.


facesitting discussion in the forum

Could Also Be Your Kink…

Still buzzing from that queening fantasy? Let’s keep the energy flowing with more Domme-powered kinks that tie perfectly into the facesitting world:

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    Face sitting from a Dom perspective.

    I'm a traditional pleasure Dom. I'm curious if anyone else feels this way. I love to have my partner sit on my face. It gives them a little control to guide my tongue where they want. But at the same time it feels like I'm giving up control and being a little subservient. I know I'm giving the command for her to do it. But still... Could be me overthinking but wanted opinions. 29 Likes 15 Replies· 6 months ago

    My experience with facesitting

    I've had a couple of facesitting experiences recently from dommes or wrestlers and it's been pretty fun each time. Usually with the wrestlers it's a smothering facesit, I like the pressure but after a while I have to push her off as it gets pretty tough to breath. When it was a domme she sat on me with panties and made sure my mouth was against her pussy. As she sat there she commanded me to kiss, gently kissing her panties as she sat there swaying mystifyingly. Reverse facesitting is more fun for me but there's something grand about looking upwards and into the eyes as she's in control. Sometimes if the ass is too muscular, it can be a little uncomfortable being sat on but then again. My comfort isn't the priority. 5 Replies· 10 months ago

    Writing/facesitting/smothering

    Here's a facesitting story I've written, I feel like I've cut it short at the end due to time constraints, I'm not going to be able to finish it before I go on holiday. Conforming cushion I’m standing by her front door, her arms behind her back, coy, she leans in and pulls me down to whisper in my ear “if you come in, I’ll tie you up and we can do something kinky” as she pulls back she kisses me on the cheek then winks at me. She looks me in the eye and by her slightly growing smile, I know she can tell how fast my heart was racing. “Take off your shoes once you come in” she opens the door and leaves it slightly ajar, a floral scent wafts from the home alluring you further into her home. As I push against the door the faint soft glow of lights form a trail into a barely lit room, despite the darkness the call to that room was inviting. I removed my shoes and immediately felt at home with the soft carpet against my feet. All the weight and stress from the day felt immediately relieved, the warm comfortable glow dragged me forward by my heart, I walked past exotic ***tings of vast and beautiful trees, mountains and other landscape scenery. The well dressed victorians partying seemed like they were egging me on, pushing me forward into the bedroom, through the soft welcoming lights. Like the corridor the luscious room was decorated and adorned with all sorts of exotic trinkets, victorian candle sticks, crystal chandeliers just barely giving off light, I’d have felt like I was travelling to the past if it wasn’t for the dimmer switch on the wall. She sits in a well adorned chair, the light barely shines onto her corner so that I can only see her lower mouth and the red velvet of the chair she is sitting on, her legs crossed and her hand on her chin with a sultry smile. Was this really the girl I just took on a date? “Lay down and close your eyes, put your trust in me” The bet was already set up, two long leather straps were attached to the top corners of the bed. As I lay down, I sunk slightly into the soft embrace of the mattress, it was like the bed was already consuming me, the fabric seemed to fuse with my body. I feel the bed plunge, I can hear her start crawling towards me as I continue to feel the pressure of the bed dip, very slowly and with slight touch she pushes against my leg and I feel the bed plunge on the other side, she’s crawling upwards, I feel the warmth of her body but can barely feel the fabric of her clothes slide across my body. As she gets face to face I feel her lips just barely inches away from mine, the warmth and wetness as she leans in a little closer, you feel her teeth gently grip your bottom lip, she tilts her head and then tenderly covers your entire bottom lip in her mouth, tenderly lavishing your bottom lip with her tongue, I go to open my eyes but I feel her breath against my ear lobe and a soft whisper “Trust me and don’t open your beautiful big puppy eyes, don’t you trust me?” she lets out a small giggle and pulls back and then plonks herself on my chest her hand slides up my leg and just past my crotch, my pants tighten as her hand glides past, she circles her hand around my dick before firmly pushing her hand onto it and her other hand on my heart so she can feel both pulsating. I feel a very slight wetness emanating from where she is sat. “The thought of what I’m going to do to you… I need you to feel it” she presses down on my chest and starts moving her pushing her body upwards, my shirt is getting pushed up. She is pushing down one hand on my cock as leverage for her movement, her work pants are dripping wet, like a snail I can feel her crotch leaving a wet trail across my chest as she slowly pushes forward, just before she reaches my face she grabs my erect cock. “Now do you promise not to open your eyes” I quietly mumble out something and she becomes more demanding and squeezes hard “DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO OPEN YOUR EYES” “YES” I shout. She laughs quietly “Good boy, don’t break that promise, otherwise you’ll have to beg for forgiveness” She lets go of my junk and chest and uses the headboard of the bed to pull herself forward a slightly wet trail leaves a cold feeling running up my chest, the scent of her wet crotch causes my heart to thump against her ass, which was now firmly rested on my chest. Her clothed lower lips were getting closer to my lips, the scent of her pussy was driving me insane, I had to calm down and stop breathing through my nose, I opened my mouth and started breathing heavily. She leaned forward and her soft stomach slightly rubbed along my face, I heard the jangle of something, she slightly lifted my arm and placed my hands in something cold and metallic.The metallic clank as it locked around my wrist, immediately I tried to pull my arm away but could not move it from the outstretched position. She noticed my heavy breathing and used my head as leverage, grabbing my hair. “If you want a taste, I’ll give it to you.” Lifting herself and pulling my hair she drags herself over my chin and places her slightly wet clothed crotch over my open mouth small droplets pierce the back of my throat and I’m ***d to swallow, her hand clinging onto my hair tightly she starts gyrating her hips around my face, rubbing her wet clothed pussy all over my face, she tries to pull my head forward and also push her body into my face, smothering my mouth and nose deeply into her clothed pussy, rubbing vigorously my senses are overloaded and I can only smell and breathe in the scent of her musky pussy. She’s having way too much fun using my face as her personal toy, I’m struggling for air, I reactively try to pull with my right hand but it’s locked tightly to the bed post, I open my eyes and can see her eyes clothed with an otherworldly expression across her face, she’s in her own world, if I didn’t act now I might drown in her pleasure. I use my free hand and push against her leg in an attempt to breathe, she snaps out of her otherworldly daze and looks at me sternly. “Ohh you broke your promise, you stupid boy” She watches me writhe and struggle, I can’t push her off of my face with only one arm, her head is tilted and she looks a little disappointed, she starts to tilt backwards and then pushes her hand onto my forehead to use as leverage, then slides her body so that her ass is covering my mouth and nose. “Breathe deeply my dear” she lifts herself just barely off of my face and I gasp for air, long hard breaths, the smell of long lingering ass sweat from her day at the office is the only thing that enters my lungs, her ass is far enough so that I can get air but just close enough so that I am only breathing in her slightly musky ass, she occasionally drops it during my long breaths so that part of her ass cheek enters my mouth,after about a minute of me catching my breath and sucking in the scent from her ass she slides off of my face and returns seated on my neck, she reaches over and scrunches my mouth together. Suddenly she spits towards me. “You smell of my ass, men like you, who break promises don’t deserve to breathe in my pussy, you only deserve to be beneath my ass” She looks to my untied hand and then back to me. “You are going to have to make it up to me, do you understand” I can see her start to build up a lot of saliva in her mouth, she pulls my mouth open and I just sit there mouth agape. A long slow string of saliva leaves her mouth and she starts directing it to my mouth, she makes sure to direct it around my lips before her saliva enters my mouth, she finishes off by spitting out the rest and then using her thumb to push more of the saliva into my mouth. “Good boy, you understand where you stand and I’ll take that as permission to use you how I want. “This might be the last bit of my pussy you get to sniff tonight” she pushes forward to once again sit on my face, she reaches towards my unchained arm and outstretches it before locking it into place. She reaches over to grab a book on her bedside table and then stands up, her physical form looks powerful as she stands directly above me, she slowly turns around making sure to stand on my chest with her full weight as she does this. “Men like you, who can only fall to their desires, who break promises and lie are only good as one thing” she starts to descend, her work pants clinging firmly to her figure she squats right in front of my face. “You don’t have to take it all in now, this might be the only thing you see all night, my little ass slave” She tucks her legs underneath my arms then plonks her butt so that my nose is perfectly against her asshole. I start to hear pages turn, she wiggles her butt a little bit to secure my face more tightly into her ass and then she just remains reading silently She’s using my arms and her legs to alleviate some of the weight but there is still quite a bit of pressure and I can’t escape the scent of her ass and the taste of ass sweat. I’m struggling to breathe underneath her but I don’t have any way to push her off, I try to yell underneath her but can only let out muffled cries against her asshole, I start to try and push her off by shaking my body, she drops her book and grabs my hair before taking her ass off of my face. “CHAIR’S DON’T MOVE” I get all the air in before she sits down again. “I’ll train you, until you are my perfect chair” another minute passes slowly and I need to breathe but I don’t want to face her wrath, I can’t help it, I start to shake on the chains to alert her but it just ends up breaking her concentration, she leans forward and punches my cock “I have to start this page again because you can’t keep quiet” “tell me what are you” I almost instinctively yell out “I AM YOUR CHAIR” she giggles and then sits back down, “well then keep quiet and accept your place” After this she periodically lifts her butt, but they aren’t always at the same interval, it could be a minute, 10 seconds or even a couple of minutes before she lifts her warm and comfortable ass off of my face. She seems satisfied with my performance an hour or two passes and not a single word has been uttered by her, she remains seated, quietly reading her book and strangely I was happy to be here… 1 Reply· about 1 year ago

    Facesitting

    One of the best emotions is when you can inhale some air through your mistress ass . And you have to try too hard just to take a little air inside . Wow . Thats fantastic 25 Likes 23 Replies· 9 months ago

    Facesitting

    Is the women really enjoy facesitting and ass worship or it is just a job ? 3 Likes 18 Replies· 9 months ago