Our Guide to Queening & the Power of Facesitting

Facesitting, or queening, is a kink that’s been in the news recently with numerous tabloids taking a startlingly positive attitude to it. While this is all good news, we focus on the power of facesitting, either as an intense part of dominance and total submission, or just as a bit of fluffy naughty fun.

In 2014, when the UK government added facesitting to a list of sexual acts too appalling to appear in porn produced in the UK, facesitting was chosen by protesters to symbolise their defiance of restrictions on consensual kink material.

At the time, many of the practices threatened with banning were those which emphasise female pleasure, and facesitting is definitely an activity associated with female domination. The authorities implied that it was a safety concern, but femdom - and anything which involves women’s sexual autonomy - has always had more power to outrage and scare ‘traditionalists’.

Facesitting pleasure

Facesitting is a game that gives a lot of pleasure to both participants. For a pussy-worshipper, having your beloved’s juicy wet quim rubbed all over your face so you are embraced by the warmth and the wetness, the scent and the taste of her, can be absolute ecstasy. Feeling you exist only to give her pleasure, feeling owned and subjugated, also turns up the heat for many submissives.


Facesitting. Image: nloik  Flickr Creative Commons

For the one on top, there are also hot connotations in having your sub literally beneath you, unable to get away unless and until you decide the job’s done. You can get into all those power fantasies about your cunt being the life force of the universe, and being adored as the goddess you are – if that’s the kind of thing that floats your boat. Or you can just relax and enjoy a really good licking with no obligation to do anything other than take your pleasure from that ministering tongue.
 

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Let us know if you like facesitting and how hard you like it, whether or not you prefer a queening chair or just getting naked and going for it!

Facesitting safely

To be fair, facesitting is one of the riskier things you can do in a BDSM scenario. It has elements of breath control and suffocation; therefore the one being sat upon needs to be able to signal discomfort in some way – tapping out is a sensible method, or perhaps pinching the sitter’s bum or thighs. There needs to be a strong element of trust, and plenty of pre-negotiation. However, that’s true of pretty much any play which involves restraint, or impact. It’s also best avoided if the one being sat on has a cold or any other breathing issues.
 

If you’re the one who’s going on top, take your time getting into position. It might be a hot fantasy to throw your victim down and then crash-land on that excited face, but it’s not advisable, particularly for beginners. If you’re both excited by the idea of the sat-on - one being restrained by more than just the power of your pussy - and you want to tie hands or feet, then you will need to agree another signal that can be used if a break is needed. You could leave one foot free:  three kicks against the bed/couch/floor as the equivalent of ‘Red/Amber’. Another method people opt for when the sub is gagged and immobile is to have them hold something like a bunch of keys and drop whatever it is if they need to stop.
 

The benefits of a Queening chair

Using a queening chair can reduce the risk further, and it can also be more comfortable for the one doing the facesitting. A queening chair, also known as a queening stool or sometimes a smother box, is a specially made piece of furniture that makes facesitting easier. They come in a variety of designs: you can get a queening chair that looks like something out of anyone’s most wonderful dark, gothic, dungeon fantasies, or you can have a bright plastic job which can be easily passed off to nosy visitors as a makeup stool.


Queening stool. Image: Mistress Anahita. Flickr Creative Commons 

In the process of researching this article, I had a chat with Squirt By Design, who make quite a range of queening chairs, and discovered that some come with wedge shapes or suspended headrests that you can adjust so that both sub and domme are in the best and most comfortable position. I also found – for those of you who are on a bit of a budget but well-equipped with practical skills – that you can go to Etsy and buy downloadable plans for building a queening chair of your own.

All in all, you can play this kink either as intense dominance and total submission, or just as a bit of fluffy naughty fun, depending on the dynamic you and your partner prefer.


Written by Madamez, veteran pervert, writer of erotica, top/dominant, fond of rope, impact play and experimentation.