Molly's BDSM Tips | How Do I Reveal My Headscissor Fetish? 


Revealing a kink or fetish to a partner can be tricky, especially if you’re unsure on how to approach that convo. This week, our BDSM guru Molly serves up some useful advice to one member with a headscissor fetish who is worried that he’ll lose his partner over sharing his kink. 
 

Dear Molly, 
I'm super into headscissoring. However, I have no idea how to approach the topic of my fetish with my current girlfriend. I'm worried that if she doesn't like it or thinks it's weird, she will leave me. Do you have any suggestions on how I could talk to her about it without risking her dumping me?
Mr Sciss Sor
 

Dear Mr Sciss Sor,
For those who don't know, headscissoring is the act of squeezing someone's head tightly between the thighs and can be performed and enjoyed by any gender. But most often it seems to be a fetish where men get off on women headscissoring them - usually as they're performing oral sex on the woman - but not always. 

For some men, there's an element of humiliation about headscissoring, and for others, a connection with facesitting or pantyhose fetish where they find pleasure in having the woman wearing pantyhose while headscissoring. 
 

Like most fetishes, this will vary significantly from person to person. So, identifying the aspects that are hot to you is very important, especially when it comes to sharing with a partner.
 

Take time to talk about your headscissor fetish

I can only assume from your question that your girlfriend has absolutely no idea about your headscissoring fetish. If that's the case, then my advice is that you'll want to take your time and introduce this to her slowly. Suddenly blurting out your fetishes would probably be jarring, even to the most open-minded person. They'd wonder where it came from and why this is the first they heard of it. In some ways, you want to discover (or in your case, rediscover) this kink together. 

Start a kinky convo

Don't start in the bedroom during sex, but think of ways you could slowly bring your headscissor fetish into the topic of conversation. If you don't already talk to one another about the things that turn you on, then I'd suggest this is the place to start.
 

Gradually introduce those conversations into your relationship. Ensure you create a non-judgemental space for your girlfriend to feel comfortable sharing the things that she likes - this will work in your favour as you'll gradually be able to share your desires too. 
 

How to start sharing your headscissoring desires

If you're wondering how to start that conversation, encourage your partner to share their fantasies. Maybe they'd be comfortable sharing their porn-viewing habits with you, or perhaps they might be interested in seeing yours. Watching porn together can be a great way to help couples have these kinds of conversation. 

The same goes for sharing erotic stories that turn you on. There are lots of erotic anthologies on Amazon you could buy for your partner that would help kick-start that conversation. Perhaps start with something non-threatening and female-focused such as Best Women's Erotica by Rachel Kramer Bussel. 

Hopefully, your girlfriend would enjoy the gift, and you can then ask if any stories stand out for her - and why. Discovering the things that work for her will help you to be a better partner and lover.  In an ideal situation, this would lead her to do the same for you and sharing in your kinks and fetishes. 
 

Why are you worried she will leave you?

My one final thought is - why you are worried your girlfriend will leave you over your fetish for headscissoring? If it's a new relationship, then perhaps it's possible that you feel she's not invested enough to try to work through something with you. If that's the case - and she's prepared to end a relationship for this reason - then maybe she isn't the right partner for you. 
 

I appreciate that this might not be the outcome you're hoping for; however, I do think that if this would be a deal-breaker for her, then perhaps that indicates that your sexual desires probably don't align.
Good luck! 
Molly x

If your partner approached you about their headscissoring fetish, what would your thoughts be? Share in the forum. 

For tips and advice, contact Molly via her Fetish.com profile or visit her thread in the BDSM Forum. 

 
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