I miss her

[Ad****]

25 months ago I lost my partner.
I'm an atheist still I believed she was a goddess. She fought against the illness and lost. I still can't believe that she lost the fight. Since then I have been feeling lonely and lost. Please can someone tell me what should I do?

[Deleted Member]

This probably ain't the place for religion but after all of that the only thing that can help you is God not gonna get into a heated discussion you will see when its time

[littlemiss37]

Sorry to hear this . Maybe grieving councilling etc . Big hugs and sorry about ur loss x

[DeviantInside]

Grief is an entirely personal process. We have all heard of the “7 stages of grief” but the reality is you may experience all, none, some or some more than once. And there is no right or wrong time period for grief. Things that may help are focusing on yourself and things that will give your brain the happy hormones of dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, and serotonin. By seeing sunshine, finding something you can do for pleasure, doing some form of exercise, finding a hobby or project you can focus on, spending time with friends, family or pets, doing self care etc. This won’t take the *** away but it will allow your brain time and space to process. And one of my favourite metaphors for grief is this. The *** you feel at the loss is like an enormous heavy chunk of carbon or coal. The point isn’t to forget about them or get rid of it. The pint is to cope and process it but by bit over time until it becomes a sparkling diamond that you will still carry with you forever, a reminder of all the reasons you had that bond in the first place, but that is something purely positive and manageable that allows you to be the person that they loved and would want you to be too.

[Deleted Member]

Grief counseling helped me a lot when I lost my parents. Therapy can help you get through this and help you figure out who you are without them.

[DeviantInside]

Just now, DeviantInside said:

Grief is an entirely personal process. We have all heard of the “7 stages of grief” but the reality is you may experience all, none, some or some more than once. And there is no right or wrong time period for grief. Things that may help are focusing on yourself and things that will give your brain the happy hormones of dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, and serotonin. By seeing sunshine, finding something you can do for pleasure, doing some form of exercise, finding a hobby or project you can focus on, spending time with friends, family or pets, doing self care etc. This won’t take the *** away but it will allow your brain time and space to process. And one of my favourite metaphors for grief is this. The *** you feel at the loss is like an enormous heavy chunk of carbon or coal. The point isn’t to forget about them or get rid of it. The pint is to cope and process it but by bit over time until it becomes a sparkling diamond that you will still carry with you forever, a reminder of all the reasons you had that bond in the first place, but that is something purely positive and manageable that allows you to be the person that they loved and would want you to be too.

Apologies for typos and auto corrects

[Di****]

I’m so sorry

[Deleted Member]

Well, I don't know what you have already tried to cope with your loss, but you know you can't fill the void she left, so I would suggest shifting your focus to long forgotten personal goals and aspirations to reconnect with yourself and rediscover joy and exhilaration in ways that are fulfilling, but unrelated to your loss. She cannot and should not be replaced, but if you can find happiness in new achievements, it might be less ***ful to accept reality and move forward by connecting with others in a different way. 

[Deleted Member]

There’s nothing you can do, dude. I still think about a person I lost a lot. Sometimes, even though I have a new partner, I wake up and expect it to be them. Sometimes… I will be in the grocery store or walking in a park and I will see something or see someone that looks like them or smell something… and it will be like no time has passed and I will get a bit teary-eyed. Cancer sucks.
Whatever you are going through, it will get better. You will never stop loving her. You will never stop missing her. You will be okay. It is okay to move on. You just have to process the grief and be honest with your feelings. And when you find a new partner… be honest with them. If they really love you, they will understand. I am honest w the person I am with. Whenever I think about my old partner in a random place like the grocery store… I talk about it to the person I am with now and they help ground me and help me through the emotion.
You will be alright, dude. Really. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you, man. Honestly.