Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 People who consider themselves slaves/submissives and have been involved in the femdom scene for a while, what common negative behavior or aspect have you encountered in each, or almost every Domme you have interacted with regarding your BDSM experience?
Ki**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 Tbh the ability to read the situation. Yes I do allow a lot of control, that at times could test my limits of what i do/dont want to do, but theres been times ive been told to do something (with dire consequences) but it was way over my line. And instead of understanding that they crossed a line, they demand more and more.
Learningmyrole Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 Not sure I can speak to "every" or almost every even, although recently it seems that there is an abundance of people interested in "financial " dominance, but are not actually interested in domination
su**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 I've only had negative experiences with Findoms, some have no interest in the dynamic just ££s
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 23 minutes ago, theswitch08 said: They don't the what BDSM actually mean. What does BDSM actually mean and why didn't these Dominas fit your standards?
Th**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 Lmao they want a “Tribute” or payment related. Such a scam and sh**y way of making the bdsm domme community look bad.
Li**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 I find that both sides don’t really know, then again every female dominant I’ve talked to always wants funding for there services. Are there not any here that actually seek for a relationship with this dynamic lifestyle.
Kl**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 Lots of dominant ladies are switches or were subs for some time ,and that submissiveness kinda pops up in their behavior alot which is obviously a turn off , it feels fake or they are forcing it , some cant understand the essence of control and power dynamics ..its not just about performing a kink or a fetish
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 The two Dommes i have had experience with were both great, so i cant say i have had much practical negative experience. There was good communication and understanding in both inatances. The only negative - as others have pointed out is the influx of findoms. The vast majority of them are literally just trying to scam you oit of *** and thats it.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 22 minutes ago, Kleinpuppy said: Lots of dominant ladies are switches or were subs for some time ,and that submissiveness kinda pops up in their behavior alot which is obviously a turn off , it feels fake or they are forcing it , some cant understand the essence of control and power dynamics ..its not just about performing a kink or a fetish I would be glad if you tell more about their "behavior". What was it?
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 12 minutes ago, mw1997 said: Demanding ***. Anything else?
Tr**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 I was fortunate enough to not come across this with all the Dommes, but one aspect that I noticed is quite common: they try too hard to fit stereotypes to the point where the scene doesn't feel natural. And by this I mean wearing clothes and shoes that make them feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. Or using name calling and humiliating language without actually asserting their dominance during the scene. Etc. Of course, many bottoms have their fault in driving this behaviour, as they just want to get their kicks and treat Dommes as 'fetish dispensers', not as human beings with own preferences and needs.
ey**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 I wouldn't say there are any common negatives I've encountered. I've been very fortunate to have spent time with a number of Dommes in different settings over the years. Perhaps one that has been a bit of a shame is that there is often an expectancy on me to make a first move or approach even when they're interested - and, well, the way communication is - when two people are both interested in doing something and neither comes forward first, it doesn't happen
Ma**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 22 minutes ago, 1MissAnn said: Anything else? Well I don't like narcist f doms especially the one's that ditch you because they're not honest
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 1 hour ago, TrampledRadu said: I was fortunate enough to not come across this with all the Dommes, but one aspect that I noticed is quite common: they try too hard to fit stereotypes to the point where the scene doesn't feel natural. And by this I mean wearing clothes and shoes that make them feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. Or using name calling and humiliating language without actually asserting their dominance during the scene. Etc. Of course, many bottoms have their fault in driving this behaviour, as they just want to get their kicks and treat Dommes as 'fetish dispensers', not as human beings with own preferences and needs. Oh yes, I understand what you mean. I think it's a complex issue. Unfortunately, many come to the femdom (both sub and dom) through pornography, where there is no special aesthetics in principle. Submissives learn that a “real female dominatrix” is a cowgirl creature fully dressed in latex and vinyl whose main goal is to serve him in a way that looks like domination and there can be no exceptions. Women learn exactly the same thing, and as a result, both are faced with an inexorably cruel reality. I am very glad that there is such an open and free Internet, where novice dominoes begin to watch dominatrixes of different skin colors and weight categories, in flower dresses and sneakers or (as is already customary) in latex and with a whip, and what is important - they do not rely on the approval of people with a porn-look, but on the inner core. I hope (I think you too?) that there will be many more women and men who are free from stereotypes.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 8 minutes ago, 1MissAnn said: Oh yes, I understand what you mean. I think it's a complex issue. Unfortunately, many come to the femdom (both sub and dom) through pornography, where there is no special aesthetics in principle. Submissives learn that a “real female dominatrix” is a cowgirl creature fully dressed in latex and vinyl whose main goal is to serve him in a way that looks like domination and there can be no exceptions. Women learn exactly the same thing, and as a result, both are faced with an inexorably cruel reality. I am very glad that there is such an open and free Internet, where novice dominoes begin to watch dominatrixes of different skin colors and weight categories, in flower dresses and sneakers or (as is already customary) in latex and with a whip, and what is important - they do not rely on the approval of people with a porn-look, but on the inner core. I hope (I think you too?) that there will be many more women and men who are free from stereotypes. I think outside of the video/fantasy a lot of people would quickly find that the porn depiction of what a D/s dynamic, what a Domme or sub is meant to look like and behave like etc would rapidly become very stale with no real room to grow both together and seperately as well. It is a double edged sword in that it can awaken what is latent in someone (a D or s side to them) but it then needs to leave make believe and enter more into reality and realise as you say there is so much mkre complexity and variation involved.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 1 hour ago, HouseofLeavesIX said: I think outside of the video/fantasy a lot of people would quickly find that the porn depiction of what a D/s dynamic, what a Domme or sub is meant to look like and behave like etc would rapidly become very stale with no real room to grow both together and seperately as well. It is a double edged sword in that it can awaken what is latent in someone (a D or s side to them) but it then needs to leave make believe and enter more into reality and realise as you say there is so much mkre complexity and variation involved. Exactly! Well said)
DaFetts Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Financial domination. Exploitive and on every "Dommes" profile 35 and younger. Just users looking for a quick buck
Sl**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 There isn’t a female domme person that exists that is actually like.. real and great in real life. Only online do these great keyboard warriors exist. Trust me I’ve been looking for more than 12 years and it’s all the same 12,000 miles away or only online or highly paid for 😂 the rest of female dominants just like slavery + *** which I’m definitely not so I tend to get jealous of the other guys that can put themselves through that. It’s all good tho
Sl**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Just now, Slifer said: There isn’t a female domme person that exists that is actually like.. real and great in real life. Only online do these great keyboard warriors exist. Trust me I’ve been looking for more than 12 years and it’s all the same 12,000 miles away or only online or highly paid for 😂 the rest of female dominants just like slavery + *** which I’m definitely not so I tend to get jealous of the other guys that can put themselves through that. It’s all good tho If you want to challenge it. My other friend is 33 nearly and she’s been looking for over 20 years so actually there is a big weight to my statement
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