Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 People who consider themselves Dominants/Missreesses and have been involved in the BDSM scene for quite some time, what common negative behaviors or attitudes towards you/BDSM in general have you encountered in each or almost every submissive/slave you've interacted with?
TheDeathRictus Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Having no limits, feeling like the Dom owes them dominance for nothing, jumping headfirst in a dynamic or pushing for one
av**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 It’s Journey to discover that they are a sub and to what degree !? Among them now there are few who label themselves as a “brat” to which I a god save us all.
bu**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 I've been in the lifestyle for 26 years and 22 plus years of being a dominant I've had several negative comments over the years
Ju**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 For getting the don't have a say in the situation and having to be reminded of their place
Sp**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 I think the biggie for Me would be lack of trust causing the questioning of My directions. A close second would be submissives who assume, rather than requesting clarification.
Ju**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 And of course it's followed by a good punishment as well it should be
Mi**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Lack of commitment to the dynamic. I am a firm believer that if you start the journey, you should be fully invested in it, and be willing to allot time to interacting with your Dom/Misterss
Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 For me is them trying to orchestrate the scene giving me tips of what they want me to do to them. I lead. Is my kingdom. I will do what I want to do, respecting the limits and the pratices we both like. But I hate when they try to tell me what to do!
ge**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 8 minutes ago, JulianDTF said: For getting the don't have a say in the situation and having to be reminded of their place But with respect, a submissive very much has a "say in the situation" at some point or another - either to set limits or agree boundaries, or help shape what the dynamic will look like, or to use a safe word to make things stop. . Yes once a dynamic is agreed then control may be handed over and any "say" a submissive has beyond that may be diminished or limited to use of their safe word, but it's still a "say"
Do**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 I totally agree with Goddessbunny, I always tell a new sub on how I operate as a Dominatrix and sometimes they get into my tits as I get the feeling that they operate our dynamics instead.
Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 There are so many subs that think they're subs because of porn, a great majority of them haven't done research or learnt what the role actually means or what it is, so they contact you when they want to be dominated or when they're horny, and as soon as they're satisfied, they leave and don't respond till the next time they feel that way. A dom/sub relationship isn't entirely a horny and sexual one, there's much more to it
fatmanDom Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 My pet pieve is a sub who has a 5 page lists of does and donts. so there is so many ways that you as a dominant can break there limits by just being dominant. I stay away because there is no way to please then before you start.
si**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 I think this goes both ways. I love to be submissive, but that doesn't mean I would allow someone to be cruel to me. Every kink has a spectrum of how it's expressed by individuals. As a type A personality in my everyday life, I crave the feeling of submission sexually only. That's my thing, it may not be yours, and that's ok.
Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 Passive aggressive behavior while exhibiting serious trust issues during a vetting process is a huge red flag for me.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 As a newly owned sub, this is a perfect thread for me. My Domme/best friend probably won’t keep me around forever, so it’s good to know what types of behavior to work on for my next Domme in the meantime
Th**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Love this thread. Definitely needed this as sub dealing with his first ever Domme/sub situation
Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 A lot of sociopathy, and mostly it goes unrecognized. A good sub will have the tendencies, it’s to be expected, but can be a problem if it goes unchecked. Just as a good Dom will have narcissistic tendencies, the problem can be just as bad, or worse maybe. The point of my addition to this, is know yourself, and only do that which benefits your arrangement.
Ra**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Simple. Topping from the Bottom. If you’re not in a learning dynamic when the sub is exploring their dominance then Sir is in charge. Not to be confused with Bratting
jo**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 I think no matter what part you play. Listening to learn is beneficial for everyone. No matter the kink understand why they enjoy it and apply those principles in levels. Opening them up like a flower that you can enjoy over an over again.
Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 4 hours ago, GoddessBunny said: For me is them trying to orchestrate the scene giving me tips of what they want me to do to them. I lead. Is my kingdom. I will do what I want to do, respecting the limits and the pratices we both like. But I hate when they try to tell me what to do! I think you spoke for all of us. Well said. 👏🏻
Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 3 hours ago, playboyy said: There are so many subs that think they're subs because of porn, a great majority of them haven't done research or learnt what the role actually means or what it is, so they contact you when they want to be dominated or when they're horny, and as soon as they're satisfied, they leave and don't respond till the next time they feel that way. A dom/sub relationship isn't entirely a horny and sexual one, there's much more to it Perfect! 10/10
At**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 The expectation that I'm a kink dispenser. Those who treat me as a role and not an individual. Those who insist because their ex dominant did it, everyone does. That because I'm a fem dom, which means I want my male sub partners to be feminized and/or caged and/or pegged, like that's all a male sub is good for. That it's all about the orgasm (including denial of it) and that because I enjoy what I do it makes me horny. (Can I? Sure , but it's not a given and not the point)
Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 4 minutes ago, Athene_Sionnach said: The expectation that I'm a kink dispenser. Those who treat me as a role and not an individual. Those who insist because their ex dominant did it, everyone does. That because I'm a fem dom, which means I want my male sub partners to be feminized and/or caged and/or pegged, like that's all a male sub is good for. That it's all about the orgasm (including denial of it) and that because I enjoy what I do it makes me horny. (Can I? Sure , but it's not a given and not the point) Well said, when they treat you as a vending machine for quick pleasure…..extremely disheartening and draining.
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