sn**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Personally when with someone in dom/sun dynamic I tailed it the intersection of my needs and their unique individual qualities, so when a sub does something because it worked with their ex, or and I quote “they loved it” it gives the feeling that the effort isn’t mutual, and I’m not speaking about physical effort, but attentiveness to the others needs in that role, vs what you think that role demands
Da**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 6 hours ago, JulianDTF said: For getting the don't have a say in the situation and having to be reminded of their place What???
MisstressStorm Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 7 hours ago, GoddessBunny said: For me is them trying to orchestrate the scene giving me tips of what they want me to do to them. I lead. Is my kingdom. I will do what I want to do, respecting the limits and the pratices we both like. But I hate when they try to tell me what to do!
Th**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 9 hours ago, 1MissAnn said: People who consider themselves Dominants/Missreesses and have been involved in the BDSM scene for quite some time, what common negative behaviors or attitudes towards you/BDSM in general have you encountered in each or almost every submissive/slave you've interacted with? This, like your similar post aimed toward submissives isn't realistic as you've worded it. You should leave off the "in each or almost every submissive/slave you've interacted with?"
Th**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 8 hours ago, NineInchNailsYou said: Having no limits, feeling like the Dom owes them dominance for nothing, jumping headfirst in a dynamic or pushing for one Definitely this, "no limits" is a giant red flag. I'm always so tempted to respond with something completely ludicrous I want them to do. It also appears that many are confusing service tops and Dominants as well as feeling entitled to a dynamic and pushing way too fast.
Deleted Member Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 12 minutes ago, ThaliaVirago said: This, like your similar post aimed toward submissives isn't realistic as you've worded it. You should leave off the "in each or almost every submissive/slave you've interacted with?" Personally, I don't see anything wrong with any of the posts I wrote. Many dominants/submissives may have experienced recurring problems/trends throughout their time practicing bdsm, and I asked what they were. And please don't need to tell me what I should give up and what I shouldn't, you are a complete stranger to me on the internet, it even seems uncultured.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 8 hours ago, JulianDTF said: For getting the don't have a say in the situation and having to be reminded of their place What the what now? Submissives absolutely have a say, otherwise you're talking about ***.
Th**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 57 minutes ago, 1MissAnn said: Personally, I don't see anything wrong with any of the posts I wrote. Many dominants/submissives may have experienced recurring problems/trends throughout their time practicing bdsm, and I asked what they were. And please don't need to tell me what I should give up and what I shouldn't, you are a complete stranger to me on the internet, it even seems uncultured. There's an enormous difference between asking what's is a common occurrence and asking for something that occurs in "every"or "nearly every" person of x type. Humans are complex and varied, it's simply statistically unrealistic. Words have meaning and the words one chooses to use, matter.
Deleted Member Posted July 11, 2023 Author Posted July 11, 2023 1 hour ago, ThaliaVirago said: There's an enormous difference between asking what's is a common occurrence and asking for something that occurs in "every"or "nearly every" person of x type. Humans are complex and varied, it's simply statistically unrealistic. Words have meaning and the words one chooses to use, matter. No one was talking about ALL DOMINANTS/SLAVES ON THE PLANET, because the question was posed to slaves/dominants regarding those slaves/dominants with whom they ALREADY HAD EXPERIENCE. That is, not to indicate the disadvantages of behavior that every dominant in the universe has, but the disadvantages that are common patterns in almost every or every partner of the dominant role that a particular person had to deal with. If you do not understand the question - ask for it to be explained to you more accurately / clarify what you thought was wrong, do not rush with passive aggression at people you do not know.
di**** Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 Omg one thing I'm sick of is dudes - esp cis dudes-- defaulting to being the Dom and expecting that to be the norm and that I'll be impressed by them. Like seriously? Its 2023, what gendernormative planet are you on where this is OK.
Th**** Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 Not being passive aggressive at all, or any other sort of aggressive. I wasn't speaking of every human on the planet but my statement still stands. And it doesn't matter if I know you or not, I'm merely responding to exactly what you said.
Jo**** Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 overcompensating for their desire for submission with a tendency to be passive aggressive or outright rude to ppl for no reason
ea**** Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 A difficult subject I've dealt with over the years are subs with past trauma. Whether it was an abusive relationship or just having bad doms.
MisstressStorm Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 It’s a difficult issue. If a sub comes to the dynamic with past trauma then it’s incumbent that if the sub discloses then an open and trusting discussion is kindly received by th Dominant. Vice versa, any sub/ toyi play with knows of my PTSD. They can choose to engage or not . Bad Doms are unfortunately everywhere , he’ll bent on their own selfish needs and misogyny. My sub would be my world…. On my terms ⛈
Deleted Member Posted July 12, 2023 Author Posted July 12, 2023 7 hours ago, CR93 said: Negative trait… you Interesting 🧐
angelbrite77 Posted July 14, 2023 Posted July 14, 2023 Not respecting safe words and boundaries No always means no Mot providing aftercare and emotional support Communication and check-ins for ongoing consent By not establishing and maintaining trust as this is the cornerstone of BDSM x
ge**** Posted July 14, 2023 Posted July 14, 2023 4 hours ago, angelbrite77 said: Not respecting safe words and boundaries No always means no Mot providing aftercare and emotional support Communication and check-ins for ongoing consent By not establishing and maintaining trust as this is the cornerstone of BDSM x This was a question about negative traits in the majority of submissives - however either way if those are things you have experienced with the majority you've interacted with then you may want to vet a little more
angelbrite77 Posted July 14, 2023 Posted July 14, 2023 Yes I do need to implement a much more thorough comprehensive vetting process if I ever am open to a BDSM dynamic again. For now I am not but yes
Bu**** Posted July 17, 2023 Posted July 17, 2023 July 10, ThaliaVirago said: What the what now? Submissives absolutely have a say, otherwise you're talking about ***. Oh thank god somebody said it... I thought I was in crazy town for a minute there!!!
Go**** Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 I think many on here are fake subs. I get loads of messages which end up with them saying they want to bend me over and take me from behind (fake subs). Those get blocked immediately. I think there should be tighter vetting by FET to check BDSM knowledge. My intuition is good though and I’m able to recognize them immediately from their first message. I worry for younger females on this app though.
Do**** Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 I’ve just had a lovely little reminder via a message this evening of an opinion I have heard once or twice…. That as a dominant female, I have (to quote verbatim) ‘deep psychological anger’ and that I am not only angry at all men, but the world in its entirety! I don’t know if any other Dom’s have been told something similar? Not personally (yet) but I have heard Dom’s being referred to as sociopaths, narcissists, ***rs (whilst there are unfortunately some people out there with those qualities) by people, without any insight into the dynamic? I think that (some) females who are in a dominant role, be that in their personal or professional life (or both) that if we are assertive, a superior in a hierarchy, we are angry, manly, psycho, crazy, psychologically damaged, or using dominance to counteract our inadequacies due to being a mere ‘weak and feeble woman’ Oh and add a dash of bigotry, a pinch of homophobia, topped with archaic opinions on gender roles? Or is it just me? Do I actually have ‘deep psychological anger’ as I asked if they were a middle child? If you could Please DM your diagnosis of my mental health disorder/s asap I would eternally be in your debt 🙏
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