Cybersex & Women

[Deleted Member]

I'm curious to see what's "real" vs what you see on adult websites, and in popular culture, etc. Mainly; do many women really find it of interest, "exciting" or is it really something that guys think a woman would be into? I realize everyone is different and you can't generalize personal preferences to an entire sex. But, are there women who do look for an online only engagement, and do they actually enjoy it....or is it more done because they know that a guy can get off on it?

I know for most women the emotional connection is often most important when it comes to sex, but are there times where you may just be looking for a bit of fun? Inquiring minds would like to know.

 

Also, if you've ever had an online only relationship, how do you coordinate your time together online? What are some tips and advice you would give to someone on how to make it enjoyable and fun?

[ge****]

I've known several women who enjoy cybersex/on-line play and are as into it as I have been - but it all comes down, as with any relationship, to finding those on the same wavelength as you who you have a connection and chemistry with.
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The trouble is many men (and I speak from experience as a bisexual man) try and force it and when they do it's very much of the "I'm putting my big co*k in you now" variety and so becomes very false and no fun at all.
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Done right it happens naturally and is more nuanced, almost like a game of chess where you paint pictures with words and each person anticipates the other and when you find that and it works it can be very hot indeed.
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It's an artform and a skill to get it right though for both men and women.

[Pe****]

Maybe some women but I think the majority want something in real life.
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We are not kink dispensers and online only just feels that way, for me at least.

[Je****]

Honestly, from my own preference, online for me is not real. If I cannot see, feel, touch, smell and taste someone, it's not for me. Online is safer because you can "play" with someone and not actually be around them. No ties. In my opinion it's something I would do if I was bored and desperate for something. However, even if I did engage in an online play sure someone is feeding me words, but its MY own imagination creating those scenarios that arouse me and get me off. Not anyone else.
I know lots of men like online play, and anyone else who does, fair play to them, it's not for me. The last "man" I played online with, turned out to be married (even after we had RL meets too) and it was all being done in his f**king living room with his wife on the other side of the room. (He slipped up and I seen her and he panicked and ended the "silent" call we were supposed to have). Never again.

[Ka****]

I think the problem is that men don't take the time to develop a scenario & cultivate appropriate language. Personally, I endeavor to learn something about my partner and write a little scene which I carry out using evocative language.

[Du****]

2 hours ago, PervyPenelope said:

Maybe some women but I think the majority want something in real life.
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We are not kink dispensers and online only just feels that way, for me at least.

Not long ago some k***end on here sent me one single, albeit imperfectly spelt, message:
“Send me pics to **** too 👅💦”
- I maintain that if that approach has *ever* worked for him, then there are some women out there who are ruining it for the rest of us.

[Deleted Member]

Like any relationship, communication, honesty, and trust are crucial. Actual physical contact is always preferable, but cyber could be fun if two people are of like-minds. Remember that most men are visually stimulated, so cyber is acceptable to men, maybe more so. For anyone new to the life, there is a safety in it.

[MisstressStorm]

17 hours ago, gemini_man said:

I've known several women who enjoy cybersex/on-line play and are as into it as I have been - but it all comes down, as with any relationship, to finding those on the same wavelength as you who you have a connection and chemistry with.
.
The trouble is many men (and I speak from experience as a bisexual man) try and force it and when they do it's very much of the "I'm putting my big co*k in you now" variety and so becomes very false and no fun at all.
.
Done right it happens naturally and is more nuanced, almost like a game of chess where you paint pictures with words and each person anticipates the other and when you find that and it works it can be very hot indeed.
.
It's an artform and a skill to get it right though for both men and women.

Cyber sex is something I find really difficult. So much of my Domina practice relies on the , being in the moment, a holistic sweet torture if you will. I’ve seen some other Dominants do CS thing badly and verging on abuse. Tasks are good though where I’ll test the subs compliance/understanding/experience on line 😇

I’ve recently done some cyber e-stim on line. Mainly a teach in by the switch and Storm ( tries 😈) to take a back seat but having a remote to administer sensation and watching a gasping/ twitchy switch ….. is most satisfying so I maybe a convert 😈⛈

[ge****]

15 minutes ago, MisstressStorm said:

Cyber sex is something I find really difficult. So much of my Domina practice relies on the , being in the moment, a holistic sweet torture if you will. I’ve seen some other Dominants do CS thing badly and verging on abuse. Tasks are good though where I’ll test the subs compliance/understanding/experience on line 😇

I’ve recently done some cyber e-stim on line. Mainly a teach in by the switch and Storm ( tries 😈) to take a back seat but having a remote to administer sensation and watching a gasping/ twitchy switch ….. is most satisfying so I maybe a convert 😈⛈

It's not something everyone enjoys or even finds easy for sure, as I said it works best when it evolves naturally from a conversation and both people are on the same wavelength so it does become like that game of chess I mentioned.
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Cyber D/s is no different though can be a little more structured as you suggest and perhaps be more task driven - with the added benefit of video/audio enhancing it further.

Though nothing will ever replace the real thing, it can be a way for two people to connect when distance prevails but does rely on both being equally invested and in tune

[MisstressStorm]

I’m not sure how other Women experience the cyber thang but I imagine they are inundated with men with their d**ks in one hand and phone in the other with no intention of any sort of dynamic other than exposing themselves to a real woman and getting off on it. I appreciate that some might  enjoy that control  but sifting through the myriad of accounts on their own agendas …is dispiriting to say the least but this Domina is strong 💪🏻⛈

[ge****]

26 minutes ago, MisstressStorm said:

I’m not sure how other Women experience the cyber thang but I imagine they are inundated with men with their d**ks in one hand and phone in the other with no intention of any sort of dynamic other than exposing themselves to a real woman and getting off on it. I appreciate that some might  enjoy that control  but sifting through the myriad of accounts on their own agendas …is dispiriting to say the least but this Domina is strong 💪🏻⛈

Oh they exist for sure and are of the "insert fig A in fig B" school of creative writing which frankly is no fun at all - for it to work both people have to be aligned regardless of whether it's a part of a dynamic or a one off coming together of minds - it still needs a connection and chemistry etc
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Sadly many men just see it as an extension of the kink dispenser thing

[Si****]

I generally enjoy it. It's how me and daddy started. Hed tease or deny me over call or text. We'd do videos things ext. But it can get boring if you do it too much to me.

[ju****]

Yeah I guess I’m a weird chick but I’m not really that interested in an emotional connection before I get to sleep with the guy.. I wanna know for sure that the physical connection is solid and gauge how attracted he is to me, as well as how comfortable I feel around them before I bother trying to build a relationship or get feelings for them. I’m not going to waste my time falling in love with someone who isn’t going to satisfy my needs in the bedroom. Getting people to understand that has been a challenge. sure, I’ve got more than a few unsolicited d**k pics in my DMs, but I generally don’t care — sometimes it’s a good thing because I’m able to weed out some that I can easily see won’t do the job, sometimes I find one so big I take it as a personal challenge and have to see it in person.. and sometimes I turn someone down based on how filthy the room in the background looks. Pictures do say much more than people realize.

[Lo****]

I quite like it, but i also have a vivid imagination, i can sorta sense things with my mind. Also im not always femme, so take my opinion with a grain of salt haha.

[Sh****]

It does nothing for me. I find it boring

[ma****]

I personally don’t like phone or video play calls. It’s not intimate for me. I have to have a emotional and physical connection with someone. I have in the past done it for LDR but don’t like it at all.

[Fo****]

So a lot of my first experiences were cyber. The older I got the more I initiated it. I personally love it, but I am a writer and I can imagine/ picture everything happening in my mind like it's a movie.

[je****]

Online connections are hot and exciting. Casual sex without risk of stds. Or great space to learn without putting it all out.

I find that there is appeal to both m/f in some way because online there is less accountability to maintain a relationship or hardwork involved, the physical and emotional unavailability offers a sense of control too or psychologocially maybe one believe not worthy of in person contact/may seem easier to come and go..
in a real life , presence and emotional availability feels like a responsibility or too suffocating or even too real.

It’s different if u met online and have intentions in making physical contact.

if its JUST online thing, there’s more to it. Its may be a desire for the intimacy but avoidance of emotional work or commitment of following thru

In reality, we all desire intimacy and a connection. But real relationship esp as kinky indoviduals requires communication, trust, a safe space to express ourselves and that comes with learning how to be vulnerable and willingness to put in the work.

[Ka****]

Trouble is, most of you guys don't do it right - it is its own kink and deserves the same kind of attention and preparation as any other kind of play. I pride myself on constructing evocative and stimulating scenarios geared to my partner's taste. And I use creative, non-repetitive, and erotic wording. The idea is to build a picture in her mind that brings her to the brink - and then nudge her over.

[MisstressStorm]

Glad to be corrected ⛈

[Pe****]

Monday at 09:08 PM, DuchessFeuille said:

Not long ago some k***end on here sent me one single, albeit imperfectly spelt, message:
“Send me pics to **** too 👅💦”
- I maintain that if that approach has *ever* worked for him, then there are some women out there who are ruining it for the rest of us.

Yes hahaha!!!

[gift_of_beli]

Creating a scene is one thing however things ebb flow and change all the time. if you have the right connection with someone ( though i speak only of my own experience ) it is possible to sense and feel them regardless of distance and change the course of play on the fly. Probably sound nuts saying this...but it's not only ladies that seek a connection.

[Th****]

On 7/18/2023 at 7:37 PM, justine88 said:

Yeah I guess I’m a weird chick but I’m not really that interested in an emotional connection before I get to sleep with the guy.. I wanna know for sure that the physical connection is solid and gauge how attracted he is to me, as well as how comfortable I feel around them before I bother trying to build a relationship or get feelings for them. I’m not going to waste my time falling in love with someone who isn’t going to satisfy my needs in the bedroom. Getting people to understand that has been a challenge. sure, I’ve got more than a few unsolicited d**k pics in my DMs, but I generally don’t care — sometimes it’s a good thing because I’m able to weed out some that I can easily see won’t do the job, sometimes I find one so big I take it as a personal challenge and have to see it in person.. and sometimes I turn someone down based on how filthy the room in the background looks. Pictures do say much more than people realize.

It's not weird and my personal opinion is your gender is irrelevant on these sorts of preferences, it's really individual personality. I don't need to have caught feelings or to be in love but I do require a certain level of connection. I've got to like and respect who they are as a person first. Are they or do they care about being a generally good human? Do they have an interesting personality and are they intelligent enough to keep me interested? If I wouldn't want meet for a cup of coffee or a drink and just have great conversation I'm very unlikely to want anything more either. 

 

To answer the OP, it's got it's place but I'm also not really interested if I wouldn't *want* to meet the person. It's more of an addition to rather than an instead of, be it due to distance or whatever other reason. 

[Deleted Member]

Both partners have to fully engage. Mmmmmm. only doesn't hack it.

[Goddess_Fifi]

It would take someone who is very skilled with his vocabulary to keep interested in this cyber world, in my experience I find it men seem to be very crass and basic with their word's and descriptions, my imagination is quite vast so I am lover of literacy and creative writing, my mind needs be seduced before my body even responds.