Pe**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 When someone messages you for the first time and only gives you their first name, then asks where you’d like to meet. My house or their house?? What do you think? Who’s gaff should we meet at??
mr**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 Absolutely neither. A first meet should always be somewhere public and casual for safety.
ic**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 Call me a wise old owl bit I suspect this is tongue in cheek. 😉
Deleted Member Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 The world is a dangerous place. If someone isn’t willing to chat, video call or meet in public first until you are comfortable then they probably have bad intentions or something to hide. It would be a hard pass for me.
Deleted Member Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 Weird question , I think most people need a min dataset.before they're are prepared to initiate contact
Pe**** Posted July 25, 2023 Author Posted July 25, 2023 9 minutes ago, icallshotgun said: Call me a wise old owl bit I suspect this is tongue in cheek. 😉 You’d be totally correct haha
Pe**** Posted July 25, 2023 Author Posted July 25, 2023 5 minutes ago, Pulsesubzero said: Weird question , I think most people need a min dataset.before they're are prepared to initiate contact You’re totally correct. It’s just about the messages I receive 😂
Ba**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 Why you meet them in the white van in the secluded woodland of course! Bonus points if they offer sweeties or puppies
do**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 That's a red flag for me. I have to get to know you first before we meet. My time is precious. I rather waste time through chat than IRL. It is so awkward eating with a person or engaging in an activity and you are just finding out you do not like the person. This is just me, I rather get to know you for free and spend *** enjoying you nonsexually than spend *** getting to know you nonsexually and not enjoying you.
Do**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 You need to chat first and get to know what each other wants, see if the connection feels right. Then I go into WhatsApp so I have a phone no and a real person, then arrange to meet. I would struggle as a female sub. But because I’m a Domme, the male subs come to me. I’m safer in my own home and they’re trusting in a woman. The dynamic is completely different with us to with a female sub and male Dom.
ge**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 Gaff? No gaff needed...now just help me get this sofa into my van, I'm struggling with this arm in a cast 🤣😂
Th**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 30 minutes ago, TallBastard said: Do they ask you to dig your own burial hole too? 😂 "Oh hey, since you're coming over anyway do you have a shovel I could borrow?" 🙃
Ta**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 3 minutes ago, ThaliaVirago said: "Oh hey, since you're coming over anyway do you have a shovel I could borrow?" 🙃 By “coming over”, I’m assuming you mean his mom’s basement? 😜
As**** Posted July 25, 2023 Posted July 25, 2023 I might start a convo with a short hot scenario to get your attention but yeah outside of that… I gotta get to know you before we meet or start a session. I’m a cautious person as we all should be. And I’m not going to disrespect a woman and assume that just because she’s on here, means it’s a green light 10 words in. 🤷♂️
Sp**** Posted July 26, 2023 Posted July 26, 2023 3 hours ago, indyindyindy said: Why you meet them in the white van in the secluded woodland of course! Bonus points if they offer sweeties or puppies And you're meeting them at night, with a new moon, and you forgot your flashlight but that's ok bc you'll be able to see when you're helping them load a couch into the back of said van, cause you're a nice person and they seem totally friendly because they gave you their first name, right?
Ba**** Posted July 26, 2023 Posted July 26, 2023 6 hours ago, SpicyChiliPeppa said: And you're meeting them at night, with a new moon, and you forgot your flashlight but that's ok bc you'll be able to see when you're helping them load a couch into the back of said van, cause you're a nice person and they seem totally friendly because they gave you their first name, right? Exactly! I didn’t bother to charge my phone or tell anyone where I was going either
Goddess_Fifi Posted July 26, 2023 Posted July 26, 2023 With such minimal interaction I wouldn't be meeting anywhere, that person gets ignored. I don't know this person, they could be a complete lunatic. Stranger danger.
ca**** Posted July 26, 2023 Posted July 26, 2023 I'd say 'fuck it' why bother asking , let's just meet....... 3.30pm ... dont be late!!!!!!!!!!!!
ey**** Posted July 26, 2023 Posted July 26, 2023 my favourite is the kinda guys who can't host, can't put in for a hotel but want to meet up asap for kinky fun
An**** Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 I always suggest coffee or lunch first. A public place for sure. Feel them out for red flags. If nothing comes up on your radar, take them home. Make sure someone you trust knows what you’re doing and will check in with you!
ge**** Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 Wednesday at 03:12 PM, eyemblacksheep said: my favourite is the kinda guys who can't host, can't put in for a hotel but want to meet up asap for kinky fun Don't forget "can't travel" either 🤣😂
ey**** Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 1 hour ago, gemini_man said: Don't forget "can't travel" either 🤣😂 I can't remember if I've told the story on here before, or not But when I first joined fetlife 10 years ago I joined a few groups, particularly around splosh - and I had a whole bunch of guys message about play, doing something together whatever and, like. I don't really play with guys at all. But, I was lay in bed and I thought, you know.... I know how hard it is and if someone just wants help, and to try, then maybe I could - providing I wasn't largely inconvenienced. I think there was 3 different guys I was actually talking with and every one had the exact same things in common 1) they couldn't host (1 lived with their parents. 1 lived with their girlfriend, who I dunno if they'd raised splosh with but it was going to be behind her back - I dunno about the other one) 2) they were unable/unwilling to put costs in towards a hotel (yep, even a £30 travelodge was a no/no) 3) they were unable/unwilling to put costs in towards the stuff to get messy with 4) I think there was a mixed bag on availability but I'm sure one for example could only do during the day during the week cos they were going to pretend they were going to work and it's all like.... hold the fuck up you want me to take the day off work to either (a) book a hotel at my expense (b) host in my place, meaning they'll likely fuck off without doing the cleaning up and buy stuff in at my expense - in order to help you, a stranger, with your fetish... umm, what do I get out of this?! and to be honest. they wouldn't have met anyway. one was very much pushing the "what will we do" angle suggesting he was wanking off to the thought of it, without having to even do it. and while this is anecdotal. the whole thing ties in with so much else i've seen over the past decade.
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