Sex life in marriage has dried up

[bo****]

Any advice here? My sex life in my marriage has pretty much ended. Looking for ways to get things going again. I'm not the most attractive or well endowed guy out there but I know how to please my wife. I just don't get the chance to anymore 😕

[Deleted Member]

Add a 3rd!!!

[Je****]

Omg. Do not add a 3rd when you're already struggling as a couple. Worst thing to do is bring someone else in while things are unsteady.

I'd say, sit down with her. Speak about what you both want. From the relationship, each other and then sexually and all the rest. Focus on your marriage, hear each other out and see what helps both of you feel encouraged and try to sort things out.
All comes down to communication, time and effort. Good luck xx

[ki****]

As a woman I’d say talk to her, has she lost the sex drive. Does she want more spice if so what might get her going. Communication is what will bring you the answers you need. Might be you need a 3rd or open or poly relationship but you won’t know from asking us who don’t know you and your wife. Good luck

[ve****]

Have you tried talking to your wife? Explaining how it makes you feel? Communication is the best policy in any relationship or situation….

[ni****]

That or buy a bigger than you dildo, wand and make it a night about her

[wi****]

Take her out on a date, something you haven’t done in years. Look at her like you are trying to woo her, compliment and flirt with her.

[Deleted Member]

Get a toy and take her out in public if she down

[Sm****]

What’s going on outside of the bedroom? For many women, our sex drive is strongly linked to our emotions so if we’re unhappy in our relationship, we’re less interested in sexually

[Sm****]

*sex

[Deleted Member]

Talk to ur wife in a neutral location, start the conversation gently asking about how she is feeling

[Vi****]

Take her to dinner with good food and good music not to loud. Then discuss your concerns. If they are not favorably, get a side piece.

[ey****]

there isn't a one-size answer aside from 'talk to her' 

this is a basically, you want to have sex with her more often - is there anything you can do/try that would help her get in the mood more.   

There are lots of different reasons her sex drive may have dropped and while it might not be anything you've done - there still might be stuff you can do with her to help work with this.  

[ey****]

1 minute ago, ViktorParker said:

If they are not favorably, get a side piece.

I feel it's somewhat worrying when a default reaction to "not getting enough sex at home" is - cheat / seek out another - rather than work with her on this.  

[hi****]

If she doesn’t let you ! That’s big red flag like it don’t take much effort for her at all , ask her to see her phone is she freaks out run !

[Dm****]

Communication is key. The lack of sex cannot be the only thing going on in this relationship. If you can afford to go to couples counseling/therapy if possible.

[ea****]

Start from the beginning......Ask her out on a date. Doesn't have to be anything elaborate.....It's not sex that dries up its usually the communication first. At some point on the date look her in the eyes and tell her you miss her. You miss talking to her....Make her feel seen....And admit to her that you don't know what to do. If there is one person on this Earth you can be vulnerable with its her.

[De****]

42 minutes ago, easydescent said:

Talk to ur wife in a neutral location, start the conversation gently asking about how she is feeling

I would caution you not to immediately assume that the issue is that your sex life needs to be spiced up. Every time I have lost interest in someone sexually it is because of issues outside of the bedroom, never issues inside of it. Are your mental and emotional connections also “dried up?” Do you still love talking and spending time together? You made need to focus on those areas first. As others said, talk to her.

[Au****]

Just because you’ve been in a relationship, doesn’t mean that you know the current person. You have to constantly date, learn, etc. and not just push your expectations on the other person. That’s on both sides. Has her favorite color changed? What are her favorite flowers? What’s your favorite place to go and eat? What are her current passions and interests? Get to know the present version of her.

[Deleted Member]

Start working out regularly, don’t worry about results, start small and just work out regularly and you’ll see a massive improvement in your life, she’ll be a lot more attracted to you, it’s a cheat code and you’ll be surprised , you got this

[yo****]

I got divorced and I have BDE
Did not matter

[no****]

Occasionally, there are some medical reasons that can contribute to this, other than the more common emotional/psychological reasons. Communication is a key here. And be prepared for the possibility that it isn’t easily fixed. I think most couples could use some professional help with this. Time, self reflection, and open communication will eventually reveal your best course of action.

[ne****]

Honestly dude I can't speak for you and your relationship but when things like that started happening in mine and in my friends relationship what we all agreed all is she started killing us off in her head before just getting out of the marriage and to just be completely honest with you she is cheating on you wish you the of luck my guy come out of this a stronger man!!

[Deleted Member]

Her mind needs to be stimulated.. maybe couples therapy to figure out exactly why she’s no longer interested.. mind is the biggest erogenous zone.. if her mind isn’t stimulated her body won’t be.. least in couples therapy you have someone helping to get to the root of problems and then helping you understand what’s wrong.. on both sides.. be prepared to work and fix what’s wrong tho..

[Th****]

My guess would be the same as several others. This is likely a symptom of something in the relationship outside the bedroom or/and there could be lots of other reasons, or multiple reasons together, work stress, exhausted chasing after kids, only way time know is to talk to her and work on the relationship as a whole. Don't just focus on your sex life.