Sub/Dom spaces

[Deleted Member]

I've heard sub spaces (when a sub gets into a certain head space like they flip a switch) but I get into that headspace a lot but in a dominant aspect, especially when it comes to getting extremley rough and aggressive, but the aftercare nature always comes back. I want to hurt my partner but also spoil them with love and affection as well, anyone else feel this way?

[G0****]

Doms also need aftercare too when they get in the Dom headspace as well. They need to kno that they didn’t hurt their partner, that everything is ok and just be there for them

[Briza]

Have a Dom side that I would like to explore

[ma****]

I think a lot of dom go through this

[Ki****]

That good to know this thanks for sharing

[ma****]

It's a little tough since I am a dom for me to figure what I want to do more. Cause I love ❤️ and care for my sub who is an introvert, a little a brat all wrapped up into 1

[Deleted Member]

I am the same way. There definitely is a Dom Space

[Deleted Member]

I go through that. I've had a sub in the past who loved and wanted to get used and ***d. I understood and had NOO problem at all doing such things and (which would appear "f**ked up" if anyone vanilla saw) and internally I'd feel this ***istic feeling...like, "I'll do first, think later. 😡"

But if I ever heard that agreed upon Safe Word, instantly I went into nurturing and comforting mode. Holding her tight to let her know "everything is ok, im here and you're in good hands".

[lo****]

My old Dom was as you describe, he’d get into sub space while he did what he did but then he was very nurturing and caring. He was big on aftercare.

[ma****]

1 hour ago, SCdom2023 said:

I am the same way. There definitely is a Dom Space

Hmm?

[Deleted Member]

I think it's very healthy to have that mental split, where it's almost like the flip back to reality, and wanting to care for someone after what you've consensually put them through.

To me, the main difference in feel between Dom and Sub headspaces is power. I feel like when in a Sub headspace, I don't break out of it until whoever is domming me at the time wishes it, or a limit has been well past broken. Genuinely, a Dom could probably keep me there indefinitely if they wanted, and didn't take me well past my limits.

But when in the Dom role, for me at least it's a more fragile thing, because I am trying to read the Sub and where they are at, so I can keep them there or get them out at the right time, and have that responsibility over them as well as myself. I think it's rare that that's not the case, I don't think I've come across a Dom in the real world who is sadistic to the point where they don't have some sort of need for post-care and that split between a Dom headspace and a more caring one

[Cabinboy]

Yup 

[Rena-5651]

There is a Dom head space and also be aware there is a Dom drop, 🫂

[br****]

There's also a dom space as well so don't be afraid to embrace it 😊

[ey****]

"Dom space" is a real thing (as is 'Dom Drop') but it's generally different to sub drop 

A lot of the reason for sub space (and the associated drop) is the endorphins released during play, especially *** play, to help the body fight the ***.  They create a high (when there's enough associated endorphins) and a low (the withdrawal symptoms when these come down)

 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for helping me learn a lil about myself!

[st****]

Space and time is independent of role or gender. Lifestyle comes with its own surprises which we all must process and accommodate.

Personally, the nurturing side is always anxious to ensure proper care for the sub. It’s only natural to take time and need space.

[DrWood]

I want to make my pet the very best she can be. And... With a little ***, punishment, direction, and a lot of down home  c**k learning. I will show her how incredibly amazingly white f**kin hot she can be when she gives me all she has to give and takes all I have to give. 

[Deleted Member]

Yes I feel this exact way. Glad you shined some light on the subject.

[Ma****]

I do. I relish in thier ***, but after i wish to make her comfortble and feeling safe

[AZ****]

I personally love this thread, because I worry that a Dom is only going to do aftercare for me because it’s what I want and therefore it’s not giving him any sort of joy. But seeing that the Dom actually enjoys the aftercare as well because it’s aftercare for themselves is very reassuring 🥰🥰 happy happy 😊

[Deleted Member]

Sometimes we need it, I know a lot of my kinks derive from trauma and certain play is just a coping mechanism/ healing.

[Deleted Member]

This blog is opening a doorway for my dominate side mostly subdued in public but in my Dom fantasies I want to try out all the kinks I've missed out on with loving authority and passionate aftercare

[Nocturne-8767]

For me Dominance is indeed a dichotomy, like you describe. I want to take them to be mine and have my sadistic way with them, but also make them feel seen, known, and loved. Those things come through at the same time for me, though I do reserve time for lots of aftercare too. So you're very much not the only one.