BDSM TOYS - what should I buy?

[vxxv44]

I am going to spend a weekend with this lady I met the other day, and we want something special for this trip. Destination: sex shop.  

Share what sex toys u like in here. Gimme ideas! 

[Robustlove]

Well a lot of it depends what the meeting is for. If it's a meeting to explore kinks or a first D/s meeting then you have free reign to choose form a vast array of toys. Is she experienced in BDSM or fetish play? What is your own experience level with this type of play?

 

In all honesty I would not really recommend buying any BDSM equipment from a local sex shop, as this stuff is usually cheap, tacky and breaks far too easily for my liking, but if you don't have time to order online then here are some toy tips.

 

My first recommendation would be to go with a good solid paddle for spanking, you can't go wrong with a good paddle and if you want to switch up the sensations, then buy one that is smooth and one that is studded. If they have any cuffs or restraint sets, then also look to buy some cuffs that look comfortable for her to wear for an extended period of time. Standard sex shop handcuffs can be very painful and break easily I have found. One of my favourite restraints is the ankle and wrist spreader bar and they are very, very effective and fun tools for all involved, so if they have one, add it to the cart. Depending on your skills a good length of rope for rigging will be handy for hog-ties or general binding use. Also a good powerful wand is a must have as I find standard vibrators are not as good at forced orgasm play as a good powerful wand and if she likes nipple play then a set of nipple clamps are also a must have item. If she is open to anal then a set of butt pugs of various sizes will help you train her to keep your cum inside her asshole once you have finished defiling that hole and the larger ones can also be used in the vagina to block the cum in there too. If you really want to push the boundaries then pick up a vibrating anal plug and a good dildo and watch with glee as you switch on the anal plug, use the dildo and the wand all at the same time. A good set of candles for wax play if she is open to it always comes in handy, but it also depends how much time you have to explore each other and play around as I could go on and have you spending a fortune. But these should be some good tips for starts.Avoid sex shop floggers as they break far, far to easily and will end up reflecting badly on the guy using them.  

[Ry****]

Come and I will show you the toys that you need..! 😜

[vxxv44]

I want her to twist ...😣

[Deleted Member]

If you're going to the shop together ask her to pick out some things that she either knows she wants or at least wants to try out. Similarly, you shoild also pick out a few things that you want or want to try, and agree together what you're going to get. BDSM is based on mutual consent respect, so you should never expect a sub to try things you want to try unless you know she or he is open to trying it, simply because you're the Dom.

[vxxv44]

I want her to scream

[Deleted Member]

She'll know what will make her scream 😉

[MadameZ]

Have you asked her what she likes, what she hates and what she's interested in trying? That's where you need to start, because different people like different things.

If you've got this idea that you're the top and she can just put up with whatever you decide to do then your trip is not going to go well at all.

[vxxv44]

She must say yes

[Robustlove]

Xvvx44. A little tip for you in general life. When a woman sets you boundaries and tells you no and to back off, no means no and back of means back off. When you contact a woman who is already in D/s relationship and you know she is, and she sets you boundaries for your contact with her as set out by her master. You don't push those boundaries, you don't request intimate sexual details about her and her sex life. You don't demand pictures or anything else of another Dom's sub and when you don't get what you want, you certainly don't start abusing and insulting the woman for simply not fulfilling your desires and wishes.

THIS IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A REAL MAN! THIS IS NOT HOW THE BDSM WORLD WORKS! YOU WOULD BE WISE TO READ MORE ABOUT COLLARED AND OWNED SUBMISSIVES AND BE MORE RESPECTFUL OF THE WOMEN WHOM YOU CONTACT. I ALLOWED YOUR CONTACT WITH MY SUB BUT THANKS TO YOUR BEHAVIOR I HAVE REMOVED THAT PRIVILEGED I ALLOWED YOU! FOR FUTURE REFERENCE YOU SHOULD CONTACT ANY DOM IN ADVANCE OF CONTACTING THEIR SUBMISSIVE AND REQUEST PERMISSION TO SPEAK TO THEM

[OYAMA]

Stay away from sex shops for bdsm stuff, it's mostly imported crap.  There's plenty of craftspeople out there who make great quality items that don't cost a fortune

[vxxv44]

She gotta sweat

[Deleted Member]

On 26/09/2017 at 7:58 AM, Robustlove said:

Xvvx44. A little tip for you in general life. When a woman sets you boundaries and tells you no and to back off, no means no and back of means back off. When you contact a woman who is already in D/s relationship and you know she is, and she sets you boundaries for your contact with her as set out by her master. You don't push those boundaries, you don't request intimate sexual details about her and her sex life. You don't demand pictures or anything else of another Dom's sub and when you don't get what you want, you certainly don't start abusing and insulting the woman for simply not fulfilling your desires and wishes.

THIS IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A REAL MAN! THIS IS NOT HOW THE BDSM WORLD WORKS! YOU WOULD BE WISE TO READ MORE ABOUT COLLARED AND OWNED SUBMISSIVES AND BE MORE RESPECTFUL OF THE WOMEN WHOM YOU CONTACT. I ALLOWED YOUR CONTACT WITH MY SUB BUT THANKS TO YOUR BEHAVIOR I HAVE REMOVED THAT PRIVILEGED I ALLOWED YOU! FOR FUTURE REFERENCE YOU SHOULD CONTACT ANY DOM IN ADVANCE OF CONTACTING THEIR SUBMISSIVE AND REQUEST PERMISSION TO SPEAK TO THEM

The level of protection I have for my sub, who is also my wife and rock is feral and primitive. The safety of the keyboard gives vultures too much comfort to try and prey from. 

Respect to you Robustlove for your manner. 

Does this go down in clubs or at events ? 

If so I may need to ensure a level head before going.

G 

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, goosebumpgiver said:

The level of protection I have for my sub, who is also my wife and rock is feral and primitive. The safety of the keyboard gives vultures too much comfort to try and prey from. 

Respect to you Robustlove for your manner. 

Does this go down in clubs or at events ? 

If so I may need to ensure a level head before going.

G 

Hello,

we went to a fetish fair last weekend and I found that some Doms there were  hunting. I felt it and was a little unnerved. I asked Sir to not leave me and he didn’t, he was graceful and masterful knowing we are inseparable. He always has me in his sight if I’m not next to him.

We talked about it at length afterwards as we want to progress our presence on the scene and this will be something we will have to manage.  I wrote earlier today about drawing attention and enjoying being admired. I think this is an exhibitionist kink and we will be able to work with this to progress it, strictly on a no sharing basis.  This has been a fascinating exploration for me and certainly one that needs clarification to ensure no one is compromised. 

And yes, anyone in a 24/7 will have to prepare for this happening.

 

[Robustlove]

On 11/26/2017 at 7:40 AM, goosebumpgiver said:

The level of protection I have for my sub, who is also my wife and rock is feral and primitive. The safety of the keyboard gives vultures too much comfort to try and prey from. 

Respect to you Robustlove for your manner. 

Does this go down in clubs or at events ? 

If so I may need to ensure a level head before going.

G 

As Firewitch so rightly pointed out, at many events and dungeons you may find Dom's who are on the prowl for a new submissive or simply a submissive to have some fun with on the day. Most of these Dom's are still respectful but some aren't and as Firewitch said it can often be a little overwhelming or unnerving for submissives to attract the gaze or attentions of such Dominant men. I would juts make sure you are always present with your partner Goosebumpgiver and make sure that she is in your visual eye-line at all times as Firewitch's Master did for her. It's not much different to how I would act with my submissive in a bar or pub as the same predatory stalking can go on there, so as long as you have that kind of protective nature in you, you will not go far wrong. 

 

The comment I made above to the guy in question was because of his behavior toward not only my partner on the site here, but also toward every visible female friend who was showing on my friends list on my page. For some strange reason after my partner and I cut his contact, he decided to get very obsessive, aggressive and pushy with all the women I knew at the time on the site and I wanted to make a public statement so that others could see it and be wary of contact with him. He was the type of guy who thought it was OK to make demands of people he has barely put the effort in getting to know and got rude and pushy when he didn't get his way. I tried to help him realise the errors of his ways but to no avail. 

Edited November 27, 2017 by Robustlove
Spelling Doh!

[Deleted Member]

9 hours ago, Robustlove said:

As Firewitch so rightly pointed out, at many events and dungeons you may find Dom's who are on the prowl for a new submissive or simply a submissive to have some fun with on the day. Most of these Dom's are still respectful but some aren't and as Firewitch said it can often be a little overwhelming or unnerving for submissives to attract the gaze or attentions of such Dominant men. I would juts make sure you are always present with your partner Goosebumpgiver and make sure that she is in your visual eye-line at all times as Firewitch's Master did for her. It's not much different to how I would act with my submissive in a bar or pub as the same predatory stalking can go on there, so as long as you have that kind of protective nature in you, you will not go far wrong. 

 

The comment I made above to the guy in question was because of his behavior toward not only my partner on the site here, but also toward every visible female friend who was showing on my friends list on my page. For some strange reason after my partner and I cut his contact, he decided to get very obsessive, aggressive and pushy with all the women I knew at the time on the site and I wanted to make a public statement so that others could see it and be wary of contact with him. He was the type of guy who thought it was OK to make demands of people he has barely put the effort in getting to know and got rude and pushy when he didn't get his way. I tried to help him realise the errors of his ways but to no avail. 

Shame some people don’t really understand what should be going on on here.

my sub and I have both worked with predatory people so not too worried but appreciate the heads up 

 

G