First Time Spanking | Is Impact Play the Gateway Kink?

Impact play is exactly what it sounds like, and in kink, it’s a big category. Whips at the ready! Writer Stella Harris shows you how to get involved before your first time spanking someone.

Impact play includes everything from playful spanking to expertly wielded single tail whips, with many things in between. This means that there’s something for everyone.

Safety in impact play

Like all kink play, there are some safety considerations to take into account. For one thing, you should never attempt something beyond your skill level without getting training first. You might not do much damage with a spanking, but whips, wooden spanking paddles, and other sex toys can leave lasting injuries.

This isn’t an exhaustive list of safety considerations, so please do more research before you dive into your first time spanking your partner. Firstly, make sure to avoid the face when doing any impact other than light face slapping (and even then be sure you know how to do it safely.) A misplaced flogger fall or whip end can do serious damage to the eyes. Also, look out for any boney areas. Never do impact play on the spine and always avoid the tail-bone - it’s easy to chip or crack.

Additionally, avoid the internal organs. The kidneys are unprotected by the ribs so that entire area should be avoided. For beginners, the ass and backs of the thighs provide plenty of space to hit - as long as you protect the tail-bone!

First time spanking? Go bare-handed!

Spanking is something of a gateway kink. After all, the tools you need are always available. Not only that, but hands can seem less intimidating than many other toys used to make an impact, so it's a great start if it's your first time spanking. The next most common tool you’ll see are paddles - in fact, you probably have things in your house that will do. A hairbrush or wooden spoon can be a great place to start.

Paddles and crops

Paddles come in a wide range of materials and intensities. Some paddles are sweet and fuzzy, with a fur lining, and others even have metal spikes in them. Start with something simple to see if you like it before investing in something more elaborate or expensive.

Nothing quite says kink like a riding crop. Whether you get something from a farm supply store or something made for kink, riding crops are a versatile tool. With the small area of the crop that meets the skin, a riding crop can provide quite a sting. At the same time, the small area makes it easy to have precise aim, opening up smaller body parts as possible targets.

First time spanking naked butt
The first time spanking someone should be safe and sexy for both.

Ready for a good caning?

Canes are also widely used in impact play, and they come in a variety of materials from rattan to acrylic to stainless steel. Thanks to the British school system, and other countries’ corporal punishments, canes are widely fetishized. Despite their light-weight and simple form, canes can provide an intense sensation. They almost always sting, and they can leave significant welts and bruising. But they don’t always have to be mean. There are techniques for sensual caning that can even lead to orgasm for some people.

Upping the ante with floggers

Moving into more elaborate tools, there are floggers. Floggers require a bit more skill to yield, and they can get expensive. They also come in a variety of materials and styles, so there’s something to fit everyone’s interests. A flogger can range from thuddy to stingy depending on its construction. Indeed, a heavy flogging can even feel like a deep tissue massage. The longer the falls of the flogger, the harder it will be to throw. As a result of this, practice is absolutely necessary.

One popular style of flogging - florentine flogging - involves wielding a flogger in each hand, and hitting the target rhythmically with both in turn. This produces an interesting sensation, and it can be a spectacle to watch at kink parties.

Whips are not for the first time spanking session

Requiring even more skill, and possibly more expensive, are whips. Whips come in a variety of materials, styles, and lengths. But you need to know what you’re doing before you use them on a person. A common form of whip is the single tail, and they can be found in any length from 3-6 feet. Although the sound of cracking a whip may be exciting, it’s not necessary for an interesting whipping scene.

A whip can be thrown quite gently and still create an intense sting. With practice, whip enthusiasts can perfect their aim leading to a variety of intense and sensual experiences.

As with all sex toys, keep in mind the materials and whether or not they can be sanitized. Leather - a popular choice for many of these toys - cannot be truly sanitized. Consequently, leather toys shouldn’t be used on the genitals or used to draw *** unless they are dedicated to only one partner. Metal or plastic toys are better choices for messy play.

Play safe. Have fun. And let us know how it goes!

Stella Harris is an author, educator, and coach who focuses on sex, kink, and intimacy. Through her writing and teaching, she explores the complex world of love and lust and strives to help people explore their sexuality safely and free of shame.