Daddy's, how do we best take care of depressed Littles? 🥺

[Si****]

Sometimes simple is best. I've learned that feeding her pizza and calling her pretty is a good start. From there, honestly just listen, ask her about her problems and what's bothering her. She may have trouble opening up, don't push her, but put yourself into her situation by telling her you're there for her and want to understand why she feels bad, so you can hopefully help her see the positive side of her situation, and remind her that she still has control over certain aspects of it, to drive a change that will make her happier. It's not a good idea to feed her your own happiness or false hopes; that just creates an unhealthy attachment style as she will become dependent on you for happiness. Instead, by listening to her and pointing out behaviours or reactions that can be done differently in her situation, she will hopefully begin to seek her own happiness, and recognize and appreciate your efforts for helping her get there. Best of luck!

[Deleted Member]

I make sure to get some outside time with my sub / little. I notice when she’s depressed or feeling down, she spends most of her time in her room or indoors so I’ve found just taking her and her dog out around for the block or to the park for an hour or so massively helps. Make sure she keeps on top of her hygiene, like brushing teeth and showering. Reassure her, let her know you are someone she can feel depressed, sad and *** around and that you will make her feel safe. Then slowly start getting back into your normal routine with them, if you have a certain day of the week you have a date night then start doing your dates again and slowly get back to where you were. I don’t know how long it’s going to take as each case is different but I have found that those step’s really help. My little has bpd and suicidal tendencies and doing this brought her into a much better state of mental and bodily health

[Mr****]

Hello fellow daddy! I have adhd and some autistic traits, just like you also I also talk a lot and over think. I’m also a care giver. But when it comes to actual mental health for me the dynamic goes out the window and the main thing is to look after the person in the way they need best. As much as you want to speak and say all the right things the main thing we need to do is listen to our dynamic partners. This dynamic is very trusting and a massive safe space so listening to what might help them is key.

From suffering from mental health suicidal tendencies myself all I want/need is someone to listen, not judge, cuddle and be present with me . Believe it or not I have a sub on here than has honestly been my rock in helping me with my mental health and without her I would be in a far worse place.

So when it comes to mental health put the dynamic to the side and be human and be kind caring, loving, understanding and empathetic to the the ones you care about.

I hope it helps and I hope they are ok!! If you get realy worried please reach out to the correct people, much love and care!

[Ju****]

Give her something excited to look forward to. Maybe purchase one of those pose books and ask if she will try something new or ask her to make herself orgasm once a day! You're her Dom you know what's best! So make her take care of herself, Plus a rush of endorphins each day can't hurt when transitioning a brain from a depressed state so scientific stance here too d'

[Si****]

Just knowing your own limitations is a big part of being s Dom. Sometimes you have to step back from being the Dom and just being there as a person. Being a Dom doesn't mean you are also required to be a qualified psychologist. One of the hard parts of being in a long-distance dynamic is that you can't just be there in person when they need you. Just be ready to listen to them when they need to talk.

[ey****]

ok - two simple but important things you can do

1) Basically of course chat with her one on one - adult to adult to ask if there's anything you can do to support her

2) Have her refer for mental health support

there is this big issue in kink that when anyone has any form of MH struggles that someone will try to kink-it-all-away or 'heal' it or so on so forth.  And kink can be beneficial, but it is not a substitution for qualified support.

 

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

ok - two simple but important things you can do

1) Basically of course chat with her one on one - adult to adult to ask if there's anything you can do to support her

2) Have her refer for mental health support

there is this big issue in kink that when anyone has any form of MH struggles that someone will try to kink-it-all-away or 'heal' it or so on so forth.  And kink can be beneficial, but it is not a substitution for qualified support.

 

I'm glad someone else sees this as the bigger issue. #2 is exactly what I was talking about. Sometimes professional, medically-certified help is required. Love your post.

[me****]

Thursday at 03:23 PM, YourLovingDaddy said:

What do you do when she simply wants the sadness to go away? How can I help her do that in long distance?

Can you send her a care package? I've dealt with depression, anxiety and ptsd for a majority of my life. I shut down when it hits hard and secluded myself. Asking someone what they need when in an unclear mental state can be a challenging question to answer. If I have a good friend or s/o I let them know that if they start to notice me decline to make sure I eat bc I won't, drink water bc I won't, put clean clothes on/change out of pajamas, and to just be near me let me snuggle into them, rub my back, stroke my hair, and play music. With long distance being your situation help her with a easily accomplished daily task list, like brush teeth, comb hair, go outside, eat a prepackaged snack/meal but cooking will probably be a hard task, same with cleaning. When others send me "just thinking of you" messages I may not respond but I appreciate it. Does she have past trauma/s? Mostly just be there as a safe person she can confide in when ready.

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, mekomelon said:

Can you send her a care package? I've dealt with depression, anxiety and ptsd for a majority of my life. I shut down when it hits hard and secluded myself. Asking someone what they need when in an unclear mental state can be a challenging question to answer. If I have a good friend or s/o I let them know that if they start to notice me decline to make sure I eat bc I won't, drink water bc I won't, put clean clothes on/change out of pajamas, and to just be near me let me snuggle into them, rub my back, stroke my hair, and play music. With long distance being your situation help her with a easily accomplished daily task list, like brush teeth, comb hair, go outside, eat a prepackaged snack/meal but cooking will probably be a hard task, same with cleaning. When others send me "just thinking of you" messages I may not respond but I appreciate it. Does she have past trauma/s? Mostly just be there as a safe person she can confide in when ready.

I agree very much with this, and I personally relate. I have serious trauma, and depression/anxiety. Your comfort messages would be appreciated, even if she doesn't respond. Sometimes responding when you're shut down is just one spoon to many. Have a talk with her and ask her what she needs, if she knows, do that. If not, gestures like care packages, messages, spending time when able to, check ins, and simple tasks like have 5 drinks today (*any so long as they arent alcohol and 2 have to be no caffiene), brush your teeth, change your clothes, wash your face, snuggle into a favourite blanket with a softies, watch a favourite show or read, or draw/colour etc are helpful. I would say 3 check ins a day is probably enough, you don't want to over crowd either. I know sometimes my little self just needs some downtime and whilst I need and love the check ins to many can be overwhelming. If she has a Mantra get her to meditate and recite that too if she's feeling a little lost. It sometimes helps me to recentre so maybe it will help her. And yes, professional help too. Make sure she is taking her meds (*if she has them - you could make it a task*), and speaking to her counsellor. They are crucial in recovery. You're on the right track. Hard as it is, try not to take it personally, too. It's not personal. It's just to noisy in our heads.

[Aj****]

As one who is severely depressed, I wonder the same thing. But I'd think of simply just checking in, making sure they're feeling okay and listening to them. I feel like it's a little harder since it's long distance. But I'm sure if they feel cared for, they'll start feeling a little better.

[Ne****]

Learn not to speak. Offer to listen if they want to talk. DO NOT try to fix anything. Just sit and listen with your mouth closed. You can say that’s tough babe. One time maybe 2 you can say it’s going to be okay babe because is always is. Asked if you can bring food and or drink. Bring favorite candy

[in****]

Get them doing activities, as a little just any comfor activity maybe a creative one. As a person when they are big encurge them to try things that can give them a sense of accomplishment, I struggle with depression, one thing that helps me claw up from the deeps of it is memorizing a new fact or learning to tie a new knot. It's simple and isn't technically helpful but reminds me I can do something

[Du****]

Make sure you not getting scammed for one.

[Deleted Member]

When they reach out just listen don't solve, encourage them to try and work it out by asking them questions. Then tell them it will be okay and that you *insert admiration... are proud of them, admire their patience, etc

[do****]

It’s the absolute worse time to back off and will likely make your little feel worse

[Xu****]

Personally for me: when I'm in a depressed situation, little space increases my feelings of staying in bed and causes the depression to be worse. For me, reminders to eat, personal hygiene, and daily self care (mental or physical) are good and positive motivation to do those things help (ie: "you'll feel better after" or "it might help you feel good" or "I think you can do it")
I don't know how your little operates on a day to day basis, but maybe making it a task or rule to do those daily needs might help to keep them semi operational while not ok. I know long distance is difficult for some, I would however also listen to them and just be a good support and offer whatever heartfelt things that they need to hear rn. I wouldn't back off at a time like this, if possible check in with them regularly. And ask how they are doing/feeling, and see if they want to open up and talk.
I would also make a point to remind them to reward themselves for doing what they can. If they got out of bed and brushed their teeth, go reward yourself if that was hard! Simple things can feel impossible while depressed, and making sure that they're not falling behind on day to day tasks is important.
Idk how many times I haven't been able to take out my trash while depressed, and it seems impossible to do it when there's so many bags when I start feeling better. So upkeep is important, so when they do feel better, it's not a major issue to get back on track.
I hope all gets better soon! ❤️

[Ex****]

Once I was advised to recognise the reason for my anxiety/depression and try to remove it, once I did it after a while I got better. Not sure is it applicable here but worth giving a try I guess.

[Re****]

You have to let her know that you are there for her. That she can tell you anything. That you won't judge her, and she can trust you to have her best interests at heart.
If your bringing it up constantly she will not want to talk about it, try to make her happy by doing the small things for her. Once she does tell you , that's where you have to take care of it even if that means meds counseling. What ever it is you have to be there for her. And chill out on the calls and texts bc that could be pushing her away. It's not a easy thing to be a daddy not everyone can do it.
But good luck I hope it all works out

[Bi****]

I suggest that you keep it simple as possible for her. Just sit, hold her hand, stay silent. Be there, be strong, and let her come to you. Other 2 above me, lol offer sound advice to.

[ne****]

Just curious as what you mean when you say LITTLE, OR ADORABLE LITTLE?

[la****]

O my so many unique perspectives

[Sl****]

Our first responsibility to other people, subs or anyone, is what we bring to our relationships. That includes being able to regulate our own emotions and behaviors. Practicing mindfulness can help us tune in to our own challenges, become more grounded and be present for the people we care about. Practicing compassion also means understanding that while we want the best for people, we can't ensure that they won't experience suffering. But we can be with them on their journey.

[Bi****]

Saturday at 11:24 AM, newtothelife420 said:

Just curious as what you mean when you say LITTLE, OR ADORABLE LITTLE?

Where we are mom dad and take care of someone else, gen younger

[Laura19a]

Tell them what to do…

[Ju****]

il y a 3 heures, Laura19a said:

Tell them what to do…

Meaning no compassion at all for them