Non-monogomous doms

[Deleted Member]

Is a sub morally required to allow their dom to be with other people? I know that this almost sounds like an oxymoron. A sub, by definition, cannot allow or disallow anything, but this is only true to different degrees for different people and couples. I believe that at some point during a long term relationship, the sub must relinquish enough control to allow the dom to make these decisions.

[le****]

I agree. Except I believe from the begining the Dom is the only one that desides if she or he can be with anyone else and it's the subs place ton find a way to be happy because while the mistress is getting fucked she's happy and that's all that should matter

[Du****]

Are you suggesting that the sub MUST allow their Dom to see other people simply because one is a sub and the other is a Dom? If that is something that is discussed and decided beforehand, sure. However if it's not something that is part of the dynamic, I feel that would be manipulative and abusive. If a sub is ***d to consent to anything, it's not consent.

[Ob****]

A sub is still a human, they are not mortally required to do anything out of their limits and comfortability. How is this even a question?

[Sh****]

Is the sub allowed to have other Dom’s because fair is fair?

[al****]

Your title kind of defines your answer. Non-monogomous. Every relationship is unique and a negotiation of agreed terms. For instance, the tpe sub, 24/7 slave or toy would have no say, while a service sub would be allowed input if the interaction was in the service sub's area of responsibilities.

While ultimately, the dom does have the final say it's always best to be transparent, and communicating with all parties is key to harmony. Respect is the power a dom earns. Control is what the sub gives. Honesty and trust are your currency of trade.

[Deleted Member]

A submissive is always allowed to have a say in what happens. If you don't want to share then that's fine. Just make sure to state up front that you sre strictly monogamous. 

Anyone who ***s you to do something that you aren't comfortable with, isn't a good dominant.

[fiend_13]

A sub is not morally required to allow their Dom to be with someone else. A sub by definition can allow or disallow anything that does not match their preferences or desires or would infringe on their limits. How much control a sub relinquishes to their Dom is entirely their own choice. If the Dom takes away their choices it's a *** of consent.

[AJ****]

In my opinion, no one should be ***d to do something they don't enthusiastically consent to. I would say if the sub has an issue with not have exclusivity and the dom wants to *** that dynamic on them without discussion then they probably aren't a great fit and i would maybe not consider that person a true dom.

[fiend_13]

*vi_o_lation of consent

[Be****]

Consent is and always will be paramount. What is allowed between two people in the dynamic will always require explicit consent. Submission is a choice.

[Mr****]

Should be an item discussed and placed in your contract.

[Sh****]

Being in a poly relationship, as well as a D/s dynamic as the submissive in said dynamic I can tell you that in both lifestyles communication and trust are key. It has nothing to do with "relinquishing enough control" to "allow" a Dom to make the decision. Unless it is expressly agreed upon and communicated beforehand it shouldn't happen. My Dom (and nesting partner) and I communicate before he takes on another submissive or partner responsibility because ultimately it WILL affect our relationship and the sharing of time that we have. Without communication everything will fall apart, including the trust that we have worked to build throughout our history together. Without trust, there would be no dynamic.

[Am****]

I don’t think the sub is required to do either I think that kind of thing is a talk and see if you can become on the same page. Me as a dom want my own sub that happy with me and maybe has1 or 2 nas play friends and I’d do the same.

[Deleted Member]

Well a sub can always choose who they're submissive to. Subs still have free will. A Dom that would *** you to be in a poly relationship if you didn't want to be, isn't a real Dom, that's an insecure, narcissistic, manipulative jealous womanizer POS.

[foxfun2015]

Why poly works in Dom Sub is because not everyone’s kinks a-line perfectly say someone hates rope being a hard limit but their Dorm decides he needs to do it should he break up and find a sub for rope or keep the existing relationship and have another with the rope bottom I’ve seen monogamous Dom’s and subs get through multiple people in the same time I’ve had 2 subs for multiple years

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely not. Only if these ground rules were established and agreed upon at the origin of the relationship.
No means No and it’s akin to ***.

[Deleted Member]

R*A*P*E is the asterisked word.

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, foxfun2015 said:

Why poly works in Dom Sub is because not everyone’s kinks a-line perfectly say someone hates rope being a hard limit but their Dorm decides he needs to do it should he break up and find a sub for rope or keep the existing relationship and have another with the rope bottom I’ve seen monogamous Dom’s and subs get through multiple people in the same time I’ve had 2 subs for multiple years

Everything requires consent. Getting a different sub just to get your rocks off, without asking your first sub (and any other sub you already have) breaks all trust and consent 

[Deleted Member]

15 minutes ago, foxfun2015 said:

Why poly works in Dom Sub is because not everyone’s kinks a-line perfectly say someone hates rope being a hard limit but their Dorm decides he needs to do it should he break up and find a sub for rope or keep the existing relationship and have another with the rope bottom I’ve seen monogamous Dom’s and subs get through multiple people in the same time I’ve had 2 subs for multiple years

Yes most kinks don't align perfectly. But to me, that just means that the kinks that aren't shared mutually with each other should be discussed and organized so both parties know what the deal breakers are for each other. Organize both persons kink and fetish categories into a 1.Definitely, 2. A maybe, and 3. A deal breaker/Hard No

[Deleted Member]

Im.not even sure morals come into it, it think its just the relationship dynamic people have setup before theyve usually even started seeing a sub. "Im poly" and either the sub is okay with that or theyre not and therefore they dont see eachother

[Deleted Member]

@foxfun2015 to answer your bad example that doesn't really translate properly to what she's asking...

If the sub wants to be exclusively monogamous, and they usually do, and the dom has an extreme fetish with using rope, so much so that hed be willing to try to convince her to go against what she wants by either lies, cheating, manipulation, gaslighting, guilt triping or any other tactic, technique or any use of manipulation and/or *** to make a sub commit to a type of relationship she never wanted to be a part of in the first place.

If she feels betrayed from the thought of you, a Dom, being with another sub, and you try convincing her otherwise in any way then you're not a Dom. You're a piece of actual 💩. You need to be castrated and put ina jail cell until you rot.

You're not a good person for that comment. Like I feel bad for any female that's had or will have to deal with your OLD mind and misogynistic views.

[ey****]

14 hours ago, JRCoup said:

Is a sub morally required to allow their dom to be with other people?

you can have preferences for monogamy

and, also, what you negotiate between yourselves is important - monogamy can be a condition of the relationship

14 hours ago, JRCoup said:

A sub, by definition, cannot allow or disallow anything,

well; they can and should

there is a difference between  being submissive and  being a doormat. 

[x2****]

That all depends on the Humans in the dynamic, if these humans are both mono then they are exclusive to one another . If they are ENM, or Poly they are not. If sub is mono and believes the Dom is and then the Dom ***s that trust then they are not a Dom they just. Dick.

[Oldbutgood]

A dominant being a dominant is an illusion subs give the power to a dominant and can take it back at any time they want especially if they are doing things that you don't like. Any subs out there who are reading this if you have a dominant and they are not treating you right if they are not sticking to pre-negotiated things and they're not listening to you talk to them and if they do not change, take the power that you've given them back and go find a real dominant.