How to find someone ?

[fi****]

Most of the messages I get are either from people 100 + miles from me, or they just say wyd and call that a conversation. Worst is when they get sexual super quick. I was beginning to think this was just a hook up app for kinkster. Which, okay cool, but not what I'm looking for.

[Ac****]

Time consuming strokes of Luck!!! Knock on all the doors not just the 10s. Lower your expectations and start chatting. Liking pics. And find the friends of these hotties. Research is good.

[ro****]

Great question dude. Visitors crushes and a few smacks every how and then. That’s it. Also, why allow profiles with no photos?! That makes no sense to me. Personally I think you should have to be verified on an app like this, but that’s just me.

[Xx****]

You just have to engage, you never know until you try :)

[Ha****]

7 hours ago, robDTSP said:

Great question dude. Visitors crushes and a few smacks every how and then. That’s it. Also, why allow profiles with no photos?! That makes no sense to me. Personally I think you should have to be verified on an app like this, but that’s just me.

The UK has recently passed into law the requirement for all sites containing porn to conduct robust ID checks, involving photo ID or credit card checks. This comes into effect in July, and the site will either have to comply or ban NSFW photos. They could ban UK users, but I assume the EU will eventually adopt similar laws.

Hopefully this will reduce the amount of scammers/fake profiles.

[No****]

Actually connect as a human being because trust gets vulnerability. Women need to feel safe to be ***

[Si****]

14 hours ago, meaford559983 said:

It's all bots I think, a lot anyway, fake profiles

Nope, it’s real profiles. No bots here 

[Deleted Member]

18 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Interesting how some of us don't hold ourselves to the same high standards as they do others.

Just my opinion without malice.

[ey****]

3 hours ago, HatfieldMaster said:

The UK has recently passed into law the requirement for all sites containing porn to conduct robust ID checks, involving photo ID or credit card checks. This comes into effect in July, and the site will either have to comply or ban NSFW photos. They could ban UK users, but I assume the EU will eventually adopt similar laws.

there are several laws in several regions at different stages - and this site is already somewhat ahead of the curve.  You cannot access NSFW content on here if you have not age verified 

Now, if they could only find a solution to the word censor (which is also linked to it) 

[ki****]

21 hours ago, Vince57103 said:

Without knowing how your conversation starts it’s hard to tell? We’ve had luck with a couple of ladies. And could have had luck with a few couples (but weren’t a good fit). I just start out with regular talk asking questions, finding common out of the bedroom interests. And chat a bit on those but being flirty too. Then at the right time start talking about bedroom stuff. But keep asking questions and respond with things to keep them engaged. You need to stand out from the others on here. A lot of guys just jump in and be like the typical guy. Stand out and you’ll have more luck.

I agree js be your self and not what others say u should be if someone likes you then they will respect you for who you are.

[Deleted Member]

Yesterday at 01:45 PM, boarder667 said:

So what's a good way to start a conversation? I haven't met anyone from here yet

Don't just say "hey" or "how are you doing?". It feels low effort and if they're like me, they'll assume your spamming loads of profiles with the same.

Read the profile and use that information in your 1st message. It shows you're genuinely interested and have taken the time to pay attention to what they have to say. That will matter more than sending a compliment about their physical appearance. Although you could write that too but you want to show you are interested in someone as a whole, right?

[sm****]

Way too many hot rods start off all guns blazing and wanting instant action....it doesn't work that way, especially if you are looking for safe and long term genuine commitment.  You see so many crash and burn, or get humiliated or  people swamped by chad, dropping out because they aren't actually respected.

It takes time for each person to get to know each others feelings, needs and unique  nuances. Iv'e said this before, make friends first and the rest will come eventually, but it takes time and effort, lots! Remember some parties get swamped and just don't want the same old same old, dick pics or "your needs" only.

[bu****]

5 hours ago, smeagol said:

Way too many hot rods start off all guns blazing and wanting instant action....it doesn't work that way, especially if you are looking for safe and long term genuine commitment.  You see so many crash and burn, or get humiliated or  people swamped by chad, dropping out because they aren't actually respected.

It takes time for each person to get to know each others feelings, needs and unique  nuances. Iv'e said this before, make friends first and the rest will come eventually, but it takes time and effort, lots! Remember some parties get swamped and just don't want the same old same old, dick pics or "your needs" only.

Soooo true

[Deleted Member]

On 1/26/2025 at 11:33 AM, buffedguy said:

I have been on the app for probably a long time I would say, I get visitors crushes and matches but don’t know how to connect with them. How do you actually find someone on here?

Thanks in advance

Honestly the thing that captivates women's attention on here, and I can't speak for all women, is being spoken to like a human being and not a smut dispenser. Be nice, be genuine, and most importantly read our profiles, seek out the non-sexual stuff like hobbies and ask us about that. Oh and never send us unsolicited d**k pics. 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

True

[Mu****]

For me I hate when a guy messages "hi/hey" and puts the pressure on me to start and carry the conversation. I also dislike when a guy says something that tells me they didn't read my profile. Example: my profile says I don't like being called cute, there are better compliments out there. I still get guys saying "oh you're pretty cute". like??? Take the time to read their profile, understand what it is they're actually wanting, and start off polite and try to be interesting.

I like when a guy offers a bit of information about himself and then gives me a compliment or tells me what attracted him about my profile. Then a question, not a generic how's your day, to get the ball rolling. And then don't chat too long. You want to organise a chill meeting relatively soon before that initial excitement and interest dies. I'm so bad for having every intention of meeting a guy, but for some reason once it drags on for too long I just lose interest and my brain rebels against meeting. Couldn't tell you why. Once we've met once then my brain acknowledges you as a real person, and I won't lose interest (unless I just didn't like you). So something easy and nearby for her is great. Offer to buy her dinner or coffee, or as an interim thing a phone call/back and forth voice notes are a great way to become more "real" in a girl's mind.

[ey****]

to give a few general tips

Patience is important.  

Coming out all guns blazing expecting a relationship, let alone a kinky relationship, within a short period of time is rarely going to end well.  

Fishing in One Lake limits you

Now this can be exhausting, but if you join just one site, or are solely looking online then you massively limit both the folk you can connect with and your own growth.    I see guys do this, they'll join a site - try to message everyone in their area, get nowhere cos every person is like "he just messaged everyone in the area", and then either wait for new sign ups to pounce on (creepy!), return a few months later to see if new sign ups (lacks consistency) or widen the net (which produces less realistic meets/matches) 

But other than just joining other websites, also consider going to munches or events - you know the person is 'real' and 'active' because they are there.

Never underestimate passive connections 

the other kinda issue sometimes is folk spend a lot of time just going up to other people "Hi, wanna chat" (or messages of better or worse quality) and some of this could be going in fairly blinded at times.  It is easier if it's someone who *genuinely* interests you and that can be not just from their profile but their posts, how they interact with others and so on.   The same is true for you, if you are posting on boards, joining chats, interacting at munches etc. then people get a picture of you.  And a lot of kinda.... it's amazing how often that it's easier when you start a conversation and it's two people who have had interactions with each other. 

[Deleted Member]

Agreed

[mo****]

Following along on this, because I just feel really awkward messaging people. Social interaction can be hard for me when I have the full context of someone in person, or even over the phone, but online? Over text? I'm very tone deaf at times. I think I will try to find munches in my area, but I'm not sure how to find them. Anyone have any recommendations for stuff near Knoxville TN?

[Do****]

Do you use fetlife? They always have several munchs all over. I hate the "hey" when they first text. Find something that you have in common in their bio. But don't start off dirty texting. That just makes me block them

[bdsmBarbie20]

Show your face. You’ve got ladies spreadeagle on this site, showing you all the goodies but there’s not a reciprocation.
Pick local women and then engage with them. I’m sure some ladies love the filth, but most like a more gentle approach (as in say “hello” before you say “I can’t wait to cum on your disrespectful sl*t mouth”). But also don’t do the “how was your day” thing. Be original, funny, direct & authentic.

For me personally, there has to be a chemistry that includes looks, conversation and a sense of safety. 100% he has to initiate a meeting. Looks doesn’t mean handsome only. It could be the age that turns me on, a random feature like facial hair or an accessory like glasses.

To be honest, women are fickle. She can totally be into you today but change her mind 10 mins later. So ask her to meet and then follow through.

[be****]

Iv been chatting to a few ladies on here and some of the stories they tell me about thd messages they get are unreal 😳! Seriously how hard is it to be a gent ? Just because it's on the Web don't make it OK to be a creep 😬 iv been chatting to 1 girl who's given up on the app because of all the messages asking for nudes and d**k pics ! And she was only here to chat about the scene and wanted to know more about it and clearly stated that in her profile 🙄
So now we chat off the page 🙂 and guess what I haven't asked for any nude and sent a picture of my very beautiful c**k 😂 jokes .. its not beautiful it's God like !!
Anyway so if your a dude on here please be a gent 🫡 and sorry ladys on behalf of myself and other dude who know how to behave we sorry.

[Mu****]

1 hour ago, beardydan said:

Iv been chatting to a few ladies on here and some of the stories they tell me about thd messages they get are unreal 😳! Seriously how hard is it to be a gent ? Just because it's on the Web don't make it OK to be a creep 😬 iv been chatting to 1 girl who's given up on the app because of all the messages asking for nudes and d**k pics ! And she was only here to chat about the scene and wanted to know more about it and clearly stated that in her profile 🙄
So now we chat off the page 🙂 and guess what I haven't asked for any nude and sent a picture of my very beautiful c**k 😂 jokes .. its not beautiful it's God like !!
Anyway so if your a dude on here please be a gent 🫡 and sorry ladys on behalf of myself and other dude who know how to behave we sorry.

My kink is listening to this guy talk about respecting women

[mo****]

10 hours ago, Domina_Lisa1 said:

Do you use fetlife? They always have several munchs all over. I hate the "hey" when they first text. Find something that you have in common in their bio. But don't start off dirty texting. That just makes me block them

Appreciate the recommendation for fetlife. I just joined and will be working on my profile, finding groups, and joining the discussions. Thank you.

[be****]

Believe it or not I had a dude keep messaging me asking for stuff and saying I can do anything to him ... I was like dude am straight but no and thank you !! But he kept on messaging 😅 I felt like a piece of meat😂