Best place for first meeting?

[sm****]

Plenty of people have mentioned coffee shops, the main thing is "make it a PUBLIC space" for your own and also their safety. It doesn't matter how well or how long you communicate online, people can be very very different in the real world.   We are not all saints or uber respectful as a lot of the online scene would have us portrayed.  IF someone wants to move you out of this arena straight away its a RED Flag to me.  If you both have something in common, like art, use a Gallery etc and have something other than kink to converse over.   Safety must be priority no matter what.  The other alternative is, see if you both can meet up at a Munch, where you both will be safe and allowed to openly communicate about kink matters, and there will be others around.

[Se****]

15 hours ago, NotSoPureMichigan said:

I am confused. If you let the man pick the place for the first meeting, and they choose a hotel, how do you get to the hotel?

Also, if you and a man met on Food.com while sharing recipes and agreed to meet at a restaurant, would it be wrong for him to think the meeting was to share a meal? This is a sex and fetish site. If you meet someone on this site and, after some discussion, agree to meet him at a hotel…and you never added the disclaimer that the meeting was NOT for sex, can’t say I blame the guy for misreading the signs.

And if Denny’s is all you have, that’s perfect. Denny’s is hardly 5-Star, but it is 24 hours (in most places), they have plenty of shareable meals, and quick (often, free) coffee refills. Go there a few times until you feel comfortable with him and then maybe you can have him pick you up to go somewhere else? Or, after you get comfortable with him, meet him at Denny’s and have him drive somewhere else.

Why is the default setting here that sex is a given unless it’s taken OFF the table??? That is categorically the wrong way around. Sex, play, kink, kissing ANYTHING is OFF the table until it is fully and openly discussed and CONSENTED too. Gee whizz, this is exactly why there are problems - the assumption that things are a given or that one has a right to them. For clarity - nobody has a right to anything regarding another persons body nor ought they assume they have a right. Sorry, but I’m TOTALLY gobsmacked by this reply. Just NO. 

[Deleted Member]

Fucking level UP. You raise the bar. No one else.

[Deleted Member]

I would be pretty open and let you choose where you were most comfortable. Additionally did you know with Lyft they have a service where you can get a safe female would pick you up to drive you?  The service is called Women + Connect.   Idk if I can post the link but here goes lyft* women+

Edited January 28 by Deleted Member
*External Link Removed

[Si****]

A quiet coffee shop where you can just have a casual yap to see if you actually click IRL as well. Need to know that there is an actual physical attraction that is not based on pictures and videos.

[Ba****]

You don’t need a late opening place. You can meet for breakfast, lunch, dinner… the point of a first meet is to see if you connect. Honestly, that’s best done away from alcohol. And, from my experience, once you get past a certain age, most (not all 🙄) men expect sex if you’re out late with them so this could actually work in your favour

[Ch****]

Always in public hunny.,I'm not ashamed to say it either. You just have no idea what you could be walking into and it doesn't matter how strong or fast you are. Man, Women or child should NEVER meet someone for the first time anywhere but a social environment. Preferably a familiar one. No joke, I know a couple guys thought they were meeting some girls only to get jumped by 6 dudes for their beer ***.

[Ho****]

On 1/26/2025 at 6:55 PM, TheMacabreBrat said:

After first meeting some men, I realized that if I let the guy pick where we are first meeting it's always a hotel and he expects sex.

My main issue with finding a public place for the first meeting  is that I don't drive and public transportation where I live is extremely limited and useless. 

In the past I have had very traumatic experiences with getting  taxi rides; so Uber and the likes are out of the question.

Also, the area I live in has limited public places that I'm able to walk to easily and everything (even bars) closes before 10 pm, unless it's Denny's.

It looks like my best bet for the first meeting is Denny's, but it seems to be a little trashy to me.

 

Were does else everyone prefer to go for a first meeting?

Your safety far supersedes whether the location is trashy. And a scene / sex should happen only after building trust and a potentially long getting to know you period. Good luck navigating the challenges! 

[Si****]

Whenever someone suggests first meet at theirs, yours, or somewhere that's not public, run! That's a huge red flag and not worth the risk. Either they are an idiot or has malicious intent.

[Un****]

Yeah most guys are surface level sadly, for once having social anxiety seems pretty cool i guess 🤣😅 im demisexual so i have to have a genuine connection with someone first to be intimate. Id rather be comfortable first so it varies depending on the vibe

[da****]

I mean. This app is about meeting and fucking

[Si****]

13 minutes ago, danny124556 said:

I mean. This app is about meeting and fucking

Still can do that safely...

[Deleted Member]

56 minutes ago, danny124556 said:

I mean. This app is about meeting and fucking

I thought it was about fetishes and kink, which may or may not involve fucking.

[May-381]

Thought this app was a safe place for like minded people to meet and share, which may or may not involve fucking.

[Deleted Member]

On 1/29/2025 at 2:16 PM, danny124556 said:

I mean. This app is about meeting and fucking

Kink can involve sex but it doesn't have to. Thinking that all women want sex right is why there are so many issues 

[Nononolan]

My home or, in time in hers

[Deleted Member]

Why not just go for a coffee, It’s ok chatting online but you have no idea what you’re getting into when you meet up, At least just going for coffee gives you the option with out being pressured into anything. For me it’s just a case of to many what ifs and you can always move on to a room of that’s what you both want

[Wo****]

I don’t understand why men won’t meet outside of the home. I want to know if I’m comfortable with the person before I’m in their home or them in my home.

[Th****]

I always prefer to setup a meet n greet at a casual place before moving forward so the tension of the first intro is as chill as possible

[ch****]

Coffee and a chat is a good first date. It's public, casual, and not expensive. If the vibes are good, you can extend the date or plan your next date. If the vibes aren't there, you simply say it was nice meeting you and leave.

[Se****]

I prefer to meet somewhere in a casual place that has some privacy but is in the public realm. Someplace that is comfortable to them. Possibly a brunch or light dinner date. Nothing too expensive. I try to make it as comfortable as possible so as to where if there's no connection we can easily go out separate ways or if there is a connection we have the comfort of moving forward.

[Re****]

Lunch at a place we both want to try out. I don't have many preferences, but being able to eat spiced food is important one 😛

[Re****]

That said, car sex is good as well.