questions about before and after you tried the D/s dynamic

[SamJason]

well my last post was removed. i dont mind it was too long anyways XD. i will ask the same questions again in short. 

-has anybody had psychological problems or stress. and now they feel much better after they went threw this as a sub/slave or master/mistress.

-this is for subs/slaves. did you develop higher tolerance of *** in general. psychologicly and physicly?. in short. like you kinda became calmer outside in vanilla world?

-is it very common to have a long term relationship this way. its hard to know since there is so much stigma... for the wrong reasons. 

i am all new to this. this may help me who is personally interested  and who knows maybe others that might be. who like has mental issues/ problems like OCD or depression and what not. that i have been working on for 2 years with another doc to solve our head problems. so any answers will make me super greatful. when you are drowning in the bottom of the sea. an air bubble is worth the world now. i am NOT asking "medical advice". i almost lived in hospitals anyways as a student. i am just asking from your personal experiance. and i wish you all love and care.

[Deleted Member]

Bdsm should never be used as treatment for MH issues. As a person with adhd, I have a rather addictive personality. I am aware of this, anyone I play with is aware of this because I know I have a tendency to want more more more.
Have I developed a higher tolerance for ***? Yes. In a kink setting. Do I act like I’ve been gutted like a fish if I get a papercut in the vanilla world? Also yes. So I wouldn’t say the tolerance is always transferable.
The mental peace and clarity doesn’t come from my masochism, but from my submission. I trust Him to guide me through life in a such a way I don’t stress myself out or obsess to unhealthy points. If that means He distracts me with some kinky activity, that is His call, but it isn’t the only way he does it.
I fully intend to be with this man until my last breath. He is the centre of my world, my constant and my calm. So yes, long term relationships happen and are quite common.
I find pick-up play, while a good distraction short term, does nothing to really quite any intrusive thoughts for more than a few hours. It’s a patch. You also need to be mindful that drop can be worse without your person to sit beside you and ride it out. This can make everything feel worse.
Ultimately, you need to know yourself incredibly well. Your triggers, your coping mechanisms, your needs and desires and what you can offer (this is a 2 way street after all). The acts of impact, electrics, wax, shibari etc are but one element of a much bigger picture.

[ey****]

as above

Kink *can* have benefits for mental health but should never be relied on as a treatment.  Think in simple terms that this can often lead to using someone else as a crutch, and can lead to deeper issues should the relationship break down and/or they be unavailable to you

in terms of *** threshold as a sub, so kinda this can increase in time, but it's about the overall building and working together with someone where the aim is taking more - it does still hurt, you just process it differently.   

If your relationship is person first, kink second it has a higher chance of being long term than kink first, person second. 

[SamJason]

spot on. yes i always value the relationship first. the kink comes later.

 

the kink isnt worth it if you need to live in a nightmare.

 

honesty, loyalty and trust are the foundations of every relationship. between 2 or more individuals.

 

i think even normal girls/guys who have no idea about it can accept some of it to a degree with time. if they highly value each other. its a give and take.

hell they may like go "oh.... ok... i think that is... interesting..."

but you should not be ***d to do something you dont want.

also the persons involved that really wants to do it is better for both parties. than nagging all the time. and if you get it the end what you get its not the same at all. because the consent isnt honest

thanks for your informative reply.