Reversing years of repressed need...

[Ro****]

It sounds like you have already communicated your needs with your husband. The key point is making sure that he is comfortable and doesn’t feel threatened. It can be incredibly exciting for you both and for him to share your journey together by communicating your desires and experiences together. If he feels safe and emotionally “part” of your experiences it will amazing for you all. The very best to you.

[DarkArts1066]

11 hours ago, DawnStarQueen said:

Wow, thanks all the productive replies. I was a little scared of being ridiculed to be honest

Very few of us would ridicule you for being honest about your ***s.
Most of us would have had the same ones over the years -to some degree or other.

And anyone on here who makes light of your concerns, or attempts to ridicule you for them is not worth yours -or our consideration frankly.

[Pr****]

Update* We've had some really honest conversations recently and today went through a list of things we would be into or willing to try. I was really surprised about how open to trying things he is. I was also really honest about how submissive I can be ....or want to be. 20 years together and I never knew he was a switch. I knew he was scared of hurting me ( he broke a previous girls ribs!), we have talked about levels of controls, cnc and safe words. Fingers crossed we both enjoy exploring more and doing better at meeting each others needs. Thank you so much everyone, you gave me the confidence to finally speak about what I need.

[AC****]

This makes me so happy 😊

[lo****]

Therapy

[ec****]

With words. Try it out.

[Pr****]

5 minutes ago, Antman603 said:

With words. Try it out.

Read the thread...

[ec****]

34 minutes ago, DawnStarQueen said:

Read the thread...

Why would you reward a violent person who can’t communicate with companionship?

[Pr****]

16 minutes ago, Antman603 said:

Why would you reward a violent person who can’t communicate with companionship?

Violent? I assume you are referring to the broken ribs? It was an accident during sex. I sadly have experience of what an abusive relationship is like and will never allow myself to go through that again. Also, it's me that struggles to communicate.

[ec****]

I struggle to understand how that could even accidentally happen, but ok I’ll give it to him. Then we revert to my original response, use words. It sounds like you are communicating just fine here. Stop worrying what people will think and just say what you mean. If they don’t accept you for your honest self, are they really worth lying to to keep around?

[Pr****]

2 hours ago, Antman603 said:

I struggle to understand how that could even accidentally happen, but ok I’ll give it to him. Then we revert to my original response, use words. It sounds like you are communicating just fine here. Stop worrying what people will think and just say what you mean. If they don’t accept you for your honest self, are they really worth lying to to keep around?

I have spoken to him finally, took me a while to figure out what to say but we got there in the end.