Improving confidence in the bedroom as a woman

[Deleted Member]

How did you build confidence in the bedroom — especially when exploring kink?

I’m curious how others found their confidence, especially in more dominant or submissive roles. Was it through experience, communication, self-reflection, or something else entirely? I’d love to hear what helped you feel more empowered, connected, and in tune with your desires.

Any tips or personal insights are really appreciated!

[Deleted Member]

For me personally it was through a lot of self reflection, i really had to ask myself what was i afraid of?
It usually was being perceived by the other person some way or the other, we are who we are, there’s not much else we can do to change other people’s perspectives

[sh****]

I’ve heard from friends that simply practice makes perfect!

[Se****]

It’s ridiculously cliche (and very hard to find) but the right person/partner is the key to it all. Someone who you can talk to about anything and everything, someone who really, truly cares, someone who has experience and knows what they’re doing but also knows they’re still learning and someone who wants to know YOU. The person who won’t let the little things slide, they all questions because they WANT to know the answer and will continue asking until you answer but will also openly and honestly answer all of your questions and never make you feel like you’re too much or not enough. They’ll laugh with you not at you and there’ll be no room for embarrassment between you, you’ll each lift the other and make the other stronger.

I did say it was cliched, sorry 😬

[Kf****]

I can say what helped me was dressing more sexy. I started doing that at home by myself and slowly got more comfortable with my body and my sexuality. So o started venturing out in public with sexier clothes on. Then I started taking pictures/selfies in the sexy clothes. It’s seems super corny but it really really helped with my confidence.

[sh****]

Well it’s a matter of experience mostly as you will find that men abundantly are attracted to tons and even more abundantly down for whatever. Then there’s the breakdown of genetics between women where sure there are the 90% then the 7 and the 2 and the 1 where you find yourself at the 2 from quick calculations where the two is better than nearly every other girl but lacking explanation and experience so it never comes out the 1 is the very very attractive women whom mostly also dont know they are then you have the 7 where sure there better than most the 90 though they know it and there not among the 2s or the 1s so they drink and wallow in the fact they will never be but in the majority of hot genes then you have the lovely 90 who are crazy as fuck perhaps thinking there something they are not or thinking whatever lunatic bullshit they do and they put down the latter a lot as they own the majority and so their the majority of culprits to confidence as well porn is amazing to practice with and learn from for confidence boosts

[Deleted Member]

It is ridiculously hard to find someone to be able to be that *** and honest with😭
Although you might be onto something

[Ra****]

Confidence, for me, came the moment I stopped performing and started feeling - when I realized that the real power in any dynamic isn’t about control or submission, but about how boldly you can express what you want. The bedroom became a stage for self-discovery, and kink? That just gave it better lighting. Find a way to express yourself free - the confidence will come I guarantee it.

[mo****]

Conversation and no judgment laying it all out on the table. Just that alone build confidence. Even if it’s just talk to yourself in the mirror or whatever your routine is. If you have self explored and you know you like it physically(if it is something you can try alone) but nonetheless just speaking those desire with an open voice and recognizing the depth and meaning of them. Can make things so much easier when you do find yourself a life partner or someone that just understands you for you. when you can say those things out loud to yourself without feeling guilty or ashamed. Your brain will start to recognize that. And give you those good dopamine releases when talking about it with others. Get naked in the mirror and tell yourself what you want dear. Every women is an absolute goddess a magnificent creation! Even if your sub deep down you all have the power to dominate all not just sexually🤘🤘🤘

[we****]

Meeting someone who was very well suited to me helped massively. We were on the same page emotionally and what we both wanted at the time. We had an electric sexual chemistry. We trusted each other and were honest from the beginning which allowed us to explore each others desires without judgement. This was helped by the fact that it was purely a sexual relationship. There was something liberating about not needing to worry about the other aspects of a romantic relationship with someone that allowed me to let loose and explore.

[ma****]

Hi! I have a TON of good book recommendations, Come as you Are, Laid & Confused… DM if you want to chat more 💓💓

[Ka****]

Communication, understanding, and low pressure openness.

[Deleted Member]

Funny enough I was JUST talking about this with someone!!! I think the right partner will help with that A LOT. Not that you need a partner for validation but it certainly helps!! lol.

Here’s a spicy story that came from the discussion. Not everyone’s cup of tea but certainly did it for me! 😂

The Cure:

Andrew was 25. I was 40. He was a beautifully made man, tall, muscular, and the quite possibly the sexiest cock I’d ever seen. He was young so I questioned a lot of things both about myself and our relationship, but he was smart and clearly knew what he was about, adept at aftercare too.

One day Andrew asked to play. He said, “let’s order a pizza”, gave me a smirk. The game was he’d choose what I wore to open the door. Usually it was a garter with thigh highs and heels- nothing else. If I felt it- I could tip with cash and close the door, or do whatever else felt right at the time.

Tonight, the pizza delivery guy was an absolutely gorgeous gym rat (my Achilles heel). When he opened the door and instantly looked down at me exclaiming, “Fuuuuck yes!”, I felt a rush. I said “thanks for the pizza”, and blushed. I called, “Babe the pizza is here! Can you bring me the cash?”

Pizza guy kept staring and intermittently pursing and licking his lips while a noticeable bulge grew in his pants.

Andrew came out, naked, and the pizza guy had a look like he was caught red handed and about to be beaten up hahaha.

“She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?” Andrew said. “This is for the pizza.” And handed him some ***. In the other hand was more ***. Andrew said, “Do you want to take your tip and go? Or stay and watch a bit?”

Andrew told him to sit in a chair beside the bed and starred fucking me slowly from behind. Only half of his 8 inch cock to tease me. Then I start to moan and beg for it. Three deep, hard thrusts and I cry out. The pizza guy pulls out his less than adequate dick and starts beating it like a horney 13 year old who doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Andrew suddenly stops pumping and pulls my head back by the hair, twists me around to kiss him, dick still inside.

Then he releases me. Pulls out, turns me over and starts fucking me missionary style the way he knows I like it. Grinding and rubbing my clit like a fucking Magic Mike reenactment.

In between kisses he says, “God you’re so beautiful.”

“Look at that guy baby.” He holds my head in that direction. “Look at him. He’s jerking off to YOU.”

He holds my cheeks with one hand. Still fucking me just right. “DO NOT— EVER— tell me you’re not ‘that pretty’ ever again. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, Sir”

“Does my pussy want to come?”….

[Deleted Member]

Having a partner be willing to give words of affirmation as well as act like you are the only person they desire in the moment. If in public having eyes only for you and not any other person walking by.Worshiping your body and putting your needs first.

[Deleted Member]

I think as a woman the most important thing you can do for your partner if they are male is make sounds or reaffirm what they are doing feels good. It feeds into the male ego and really produces a positive feedback loop. Because the better they feel the more inclined they will be to keep doing whatever it is they are doing.

So I like a vocal partner and one who says they are enjoying what is happening as well as one that communicates their wants because I aim to please. It’s not just one thing but a whole bunch of things that can help.

[ne****]

Communication, honesty, and loyalty

[go****]

Definitely I think the best way like it's been said here is the positive affirmations. In and out of the bedroom. And that does mean also loyalty to all boundaries and respect

[kh****]

Doing what you want, being submissive or dominant, is just to boost your self-confidence.

[Sm****]

I had a one night stand that lasted 4 mo. Complete freak, way above my skill set but she'd drop hints and then was so GD enthusiastic that I couldn't help but build confidence. The poor woman that was up to bat next didn't know what hit her.

[Ma****]

Honestly, the whisper app is what made the specific words normal to say out loud, role playing and stepping. Then mixed with liquid courage, then add someone you've never met with no mutual friends. With mutual respect and understanding it's only a matter of time before reaching the kinkster from within. ✌️💜

[go****]

I can imagine it can be hard maybe for men to be voisterous during fun play time. I know some are cuz I am but I have not always been able to do that so easily. I can imagine for some because I've had the same experience, especially when you first getting into stuff like this say like with a partner or a husband or wife takes a lot of putting down your ego and a lot of putting down your insecurities as a man and then to step up and tell how beautiful she is or him, how much you love to see each other pleased. Get wild with it, the encouragement cuz if that's what we want then why wouldn't we? I think during playtime all the lifting up of her sexual spirit builds her or his confidence, could communication between the two like many of you mentioned but also afterwards where it was like what were the feelings or did we like what didn't we like because good communication builds confidence and both partners or all three or six 😉 🤣 can't do it for each other just in the bedroom or just out in the world ,it's going to be both. Nothing worse to think than somebody doesn't like us except for when we're in that heat at the moment playing around. We also don't want to feel like our other half really only likes this when we're not playing around. So I say "voice it up" that's going to be my new saying. The number one shock red blocked on this planet is the throat chakra say it up lovers 😸

[go****]

I think guys can have a harder time using their words and their feelings than women for sure. Be Voiceterous about it!! Whether it's a couple or, a hit and run, one night stand, a bump from grocery store, or a gang bang. USE THE WORDS! It is a bummer all the pornography that way watch when do you ever see or hear any of them praising and saying how much they enjoy what's happening or building each other up. You don't see it, imagine if it was like that they'd be even hotter, over the top! So fill each other up with that voice and say all them great things to one another anywhere you're at! all the time! A good one that's easy to do is look at your person, your lover, your play toy tell them to look at you and make them tell you they're beautiful. They don't want to do it at first nobody does usually but you make them and when they're saying it it changes something. That's a great one for building confidence for each other. Personal self-confidence that's another story I just try to rewiring my brain. I think s*** about myself I start to think something positive because I acknowledge it and do so and then after a while the thought comes more natural. it's called rewiring cool ass book or show! It's true though, so rewire for confidence, f*** it, rewire for happiness too 😁
❤️❤️❤️

[Mi****]

Open communication, having a safe space to speak and express. Also, when I’m in my dominant outfit - I am instantly in a different role.

[Ma****]

Bro.. I feel like you have been listening to my Ted talks in fact you might be the only one who's ever listened to my Ted talks... Just kidding but it's super cool to know that I'm not the only one that has this outlook on this topi It will just f*ck everything up by Not bringing any of I guess they're true self into the dynamic And since everyone gears it towards one thing it fucks everything up Making it seem less thoughtful or...... It's really genuine

[Deleted Member]

Open communication is the key