A newbies crisis of confidence

[Deleted Member]

Something happened earlier today. I got too far into my head, overthinking things. I felt *** and lost confidence in myself. I felt really crappy and started questioning, asking myself "what am i doing?" and am "i cut out for this?"

Not usual thought processes for someone whose normally got things together!

What is normal (for me at least) is to go in search of answers and good old google helped me to make sense of things and develop some strategies for dealing with similar situations if they arise in the future.

Hopefully the following links are ok to post here and hopefully they help anyone else who may be having a wobble.

bdsmtrainingacademy*   -  deal-conflicting-emotions-submissive


thriveglobal*    - stories - how-to-deal-with-a-crisis-of-confidence-and-come-back-stronger-than-ever

 

Edited February 24, 2021 by Deleted Member
*External links removed

[Deleted Member]

Hi, you are far from alone. A lass I knew firstly couldn't handle the "shame" she felt, being kinky and eventually left the scene completely. Also I struggled for a good 18 months, working out if I even belonged here before I settled and found my way. The amount of vanilla I carry clashed badly with those kinky urges and it took some time to reconcile the two. I wrote loads of threads to seek advice about how I was feeling and that helped much, even had a couple of folk tell me I didn't belong but I think that was more spite than anything else. Now throw into the mix my religious upbringing and i think you will get the picture. You are not alone and in time if you belong, you will settle, and eventually feel comfortable with the skin you wear. A wiser man than I said to me "if you don't fit in vanilla then this is the place for you" and that hit home, really helped.

Edited February 24, 2021 by Deleted Member
Better choice of words

[UK****]

It's common for all types (dom or sub) to have moments of doubt. That's ok. I think it's like Neo in The Matrix when he first emerges. Everything he has known was different and it takes a lot of reassurance to know there's a better way for him. Sometimes we all need a Morpheus, which could be a physical guide or just a good website that can address our concerns.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Primal*** said:

Hi, you are far from alone. A lass I knew firstly couldn't handle the "shame" she felt, being kinky and eventually left the scene completely. Also I struggled for a good 18 months, working out if I even belonged here before I settled and found my way. The amount of vanilla I carry clashed badly with those kinky urges and it took some time to reconcile the two. I wrote loads of threads to seek advice about how I was feeling and that helped much, even had a couple of folk tell me I didn't belong but I think that was more spite than anything else. Now throw into the mix my religious upbringing and i think you will get the picture. You are not alone and in time if you belong, you will settle, and eventually feel comfortable with the skin you wear. A wiser man than I said to me "if you don't fit in vanilla then this is the place for you" and that hit home, really helped.

Thank you @primal ***. I just need to reconcile the facade i wear in day to day life with this. Its new and im not going to dwell too long.
Im sorry others felt the need to be spiteful towards you. It says more about them than anything else and im glad you had the support of that wise man

[Deleted Member]

54 minutes ago, UK_Knight said:

It's common for all types (dom or sub) to have moments of doubt. That's ok. I think it's like Neo in The Matrix when he first emerges. Everything he has known was different and it takes a lot of reassurance to know there's a better way for him. Sometimes we all need a Morpheus, which could be a physical guide or just a good website that can address our concerns.

@UK_Knight thank you, that makes sense. Thankfully, i think i have a couple of Morpheus' i can check in with for support now

[Deleted Member]

57 minutes ago, Inquisitivesub said:

Im sorry others felt the need to be spiteful towards you. 

Thank you, but nothing to worry about. If anything it encouraged the manchild in me to stay 😂

[Sm****]

Thank you for sharing as I am having this at the moment. .

[Leisa]

A majority struggle with the questions you are asking yourself when they first enter the lifestyle. Some of continue to question years down the road. It’s reconciling who you are with what you enjoy. They should commingle together. It’s even normal to find yourself caught somewhere in the middle between vanilla and kink. You can be mostly vanilla with a bit of kink thrown in or mostly kink with splashes of vanilla. Both are perfectly acceptable choices. I think each of us live in a vanilla world to some extent or another and it’s up to you to take your journey. Only you can determine if it’s the right journey for you. Best of luck.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Leisa said:

A majority struggle with the questions you are asking yourself when they first enter the lifestyle. Some of continue to question years down the road. It’s reconciling who you are with what you enjoy. They should commingle together. It’s even normal to find yourself caught somewhere in the middle between vanilla and kink. You can be mostly vanilla with a bit of kink thrown in or mostly kink with splashes of vanilla. Both are perfectly acceptable choices. I think each of us live in a vanilla world to some extent or another and it’s up to you to take your journey. Only you can determine if it’s the right journey for you. Best of luck.

Thank you Leisa

[CocoLikz2Lik]

If you need someone to listen, I'm here

[Deleted Member]

15 minutes ago, CocoLikz2Lik said:

If you need someone to listen, I'm here

Thank you Coco