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Doing things differently

MrNaughty4u

By MrNaughty4u
in New to BDSM, Kink & Fetish?

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MrNaughty4u

MrNaughty4u

Posted

Thinking back to when you first started on this journey and your experiences then. What would you do differently now, if you could go back to the start with your knowledge and experience that you have now please?

Ky****

Ky****

Posted

I'd have more confidence to say no to some people, and more confidence to do things that I should have done in terms of being more open in places.  I would defn have pushed things to ensure that I spent more time being me and not vanilla society's idea of who I should be.

ey****

ey****

Posted

I think kinda - everything I've done, good or bad, whether it worked or didn't, whether it was a positive or negative experience, got me to where I am now.

Things I could go back to change, would end up undoing other good things that happened.   I'd rather take what I learned into things going forward rather than looking backwards (I aint going that way)

 

SolomanStrange

SolomanStrange

Posted
(edited)

I wish I had the confidence to move forward generally.  

Also The Confidence to have a open, kind, caring and grateful heart.

 

 

Edited by SolomanStrange
PixieDust

PixieDust

Posted

Even if I had the same knowledge back when I first started out I don't think I would do anything differently to be honest, otherwise I would not be the same person I am today.  I think  we are exactly who we are meant to be in any given point in time.  Life  throws us lessons when they are needed the most regardless of the knowledge we  hold.

Deleted Member

Posted

Great answers. I wouldn't have listened to my wiser self anyway, as I never listen to anyone's advice. 

 

Deleted Member

Posted

Good morning, 

I asked this question recently to someone special and her answer was perfect "I am the sum of all of my experiences to date". Meaning everything that has happened has led me to where I am now which I'm eternally grateful for.  I also think if you could bottle hindsight or foresight,  you'd be a millionaire. 

My advice is relish the journey, enjoy the now,  love hard and be your most authentic self

🔥❤🔥

Ky****

Ky****

Posted
11 minutes ago, MsWhiteRose said:

Great answers. I wouldn't have listened to my wiser self anyway, as I never listen to anyone's advice. 

 

and of course that would rule out certain kinks developing, so we couldn't do age play, after all we wouldn't be much of a schoolgirl spankee if we didn't reply 'yeah, whatever' to anyone trying to give us advice lol

Deleted Member

Posted

Instead of hanging on to “his” every word I would’ve done some independent research as well. Although my then Dominant introduced me to the community, he moulded me into his idea of a Submissive therefore taunting me slightly for the future. I’m slowly reprogramming. 💗

li****

li****

Posted

I always think the paths you have chosen to take on your journey has happened for a reason. If I'd have chosen someone else to be my mentor I doubt I would have learnt the things I did or have made the same choices I did. Everything happens for a reason yes a lot of bad shit has happened to me on this road of kink a lot of bumps in the road but...... It's made me a stronger person for sure. Just be yourself never change on this road of discovery there is always something new to learn. Never think what if???!!! It's only gonna drag you down think positive think to the future the past is that for a reason!!! It's made us who we are now and what we do now will shape us for the future.

Deleted Member

Posted
50 minutes ago, lil-monster said:

I always think the paths you have chosen to take on your journey has happened for a reason. If I'd have chosen someone else to be my mentor I doubt I would have learnt the things I did or have made the same choices I did. Everything happens for a reason yes a lot of bad shit has happened to me on this road of kink a lot of bumps in the road but...... It's made me a stronger person for sure. Just be yourself never change on this road of discovery there is always something new to learn. Never think what if???!!! It's only gonna drag you down think positive think to the future the past is that for a reason!!! It's made us who we are now and what we do now will shape us for the future.

Always look to the future kitten, I’ve been so proud watching both your confidence and strength grow, even prouder when I saw the penny drop that you deserve the love, respect and commitment of any Dom, loved watching you learn, absorb and take every task so seriously and be totally respectful in sessions, but mostly I’ve loved seeing you realise it’s also a fun journey. It’s been an absolute privilege to be sharing this journey with you .

li****

li****

Posted
2 minutes ago, Liam52 said:

Always look to the future kitten, I’ve been so proud watching both your confidence and strength grow, even prouder when I saw the penny drop that you deserve the love, respect and commitment of any Dom, loved watching you learn, absorb and take every task so seriously and be totally respectful in sessions, but mostly I’ve loved seeing you realise it’s also a fun journey. It’s been an absolute privilege to be sharing this journey with you .

Aww thank you so much Sir 😘 💙 your love and support this past year has been amazing and I know our future together will be even more amazing. I think everyone has to realise that the paths we choose are chosen for a reason, we should never think but what if I'd done this different? what if I'd have chosen this instead of that? We are who we are because of those choices in life like I said we can't change the past but we can sure as hell live in the now and plan for the future

cautiousswitch

cautiousswitch

Posted

I like to have major events planned out well in advance so that they are more likely to run smoothly when they take place.  When I first started I wasn't aware that some pro dommes, especially if they spend time between two or three cities, don't always have the ability to schedule too far in advance.  Looking back, I probably came across as excessively needy the first few times I tried to schedule something.  I would try to be more patient.

helenOfToy

helenOfToy

Posted

The nature of any new journey is that you don't always know where a choice is going to take you. If you did know, then it wouldn't be a new journey. So far my journey has been nothing like I expected. I've discovered things about myself that I never even suspected. I've met some amazing, incredible people who have helped me find my confidence, I've also met some bad people who have caused me a great deal of ***. Whatever happens from now on, I hope that I will continue to be myself, and have the courage to ask questions when I don't understand, and to ask for help when I am in need, and to ask for comfort when I'm in ***. Even the bad experiences have been something I have learned from, and while I can hope it will all be good from now on, something older and wiser tells me that it won't all be. I am optimistic for the future though.

ca****

ca****

Posted

Really liked the answers to this....  would be interesting to get the views of some people 'younger' and maybe earlier in their journey maybe...

Personally..i would say regardless of the past , or your beliefs ... whether it is fate or chance... you are where you are....  your next action is what you do next

I do believe that all things happen for a reason...  (can there be any other way? .)  and all those reasons ahve gotten you to this point now....  and now you can do it like you always have or you can do it differently.
 

 

 

Ky****

Ky****

Posted

@callipygian ah but there may be a difference between younger and earlier in their journey, I've been into kink since the 80s but really regard myself as being right at the start of a new journey, there's a difference between the old me kinky male sub really into femdomme with what I became, kinky submissive woman.  If I'd come onto this group 5 years ago I'd describe myself as an old hand, but now everything is confusing, I've still got experience but there are many things that are new to me, and doubtless if I transition fully it'll be like starting a third time.

helenOfToy

helenOfToy

Posted
12 minutes ago, Kymi said:

@callipygian ah but there may be a difference between younger and earlier in their journey, I've been into kink since the 80s but really regard myself as being right at the start of a new journey, there's a difference between the old me kinky male sub really into femdomme with what I became, kinky submissive woman.  If I'd come onto this group 5 years ago I'd describe myself as an old hand, but now everything is confusing, I've still got experience but there are many things that are new to me, and doubtless if I transition fully it'll be like starting a third time.

I've heard people say similar things about starting again. For myself, I've arrived at this kinky place in my life quite late. Discussed light kink with previous partners and even did a little bondage play with my ex wife, but it had never even occurred to me to seek out the community until now. Now I'm just thinking 'where has kink been all my life?' I genuinely don't think I could be happy in a vanilla relationship now.

As for transitioning, that's another interesting area (probably deserving of its own thread actually). I don't know whether I will simply continue as I am (authentic CD/sissy), or half, or fully transition. I'm sure it will be fun finding out though.

Deleted Member

Posted
1 hour ago, callipygian said:

Really liked the answers to this....  would be interesting to get the views of some people 'younger' and maybe earlier in their journey maybe...

 

 

 

I am a whipper snappers you cheeky monkey 🐵😘💗

ca****

ca****

Posted
2 minutes ago, little_dark_princess said:

I am a whipper snappers you cheeky monkey 🐵😘💗

You make a point... i shall re phrase that to suggest anyone younger than the ripe old age of 30 ish then  ;)

Deleted Member

Posted

Good question! 

So looking back i have got myself in some bad or uncomfortable situations because i used to be to trusting. Now i look after myself and have learnt alot from the mistakes i have made. 

But if i hadn't had them experiences then i wouldn't be who i am today. The experience we have good or bad shape who we are today.

Plus if i could go back and talk to myself.. I'd still make the same mistake cause i wouldn't listen and i knew best 🤦‍♀️😂 

Deleted Member

Posted

Built my own dungeon. The rest was good and became almost perfect

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