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What's your funniest kink-related story?

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 I'm nosey af, share your stories and let's all have a laugh


i was talking to this 40 year old white man. as a punishment he called me a n****boy


I was once entertaining two girls and they were kneeling before me, wrists bound behind them and blindfolded. Both were ordered to pleasure me and they did so splendidly until overenthusiasm kicked in. Their alternating sucking ended when i heard a muffled 'Dat's by dose'!


Sadly I don't have one yet


My first CBT Scene was with a client who didn't mention thats what he wanted when I answered his "call"..
"I can't fun unless you kick me really hard in the balls" ( Me: HIGHLY trained in self defense and martial Arts) " I'm not sure that's a good idea...." John: " please, I need to cum!!" (Oooooookaaaaay).....
My John hit the floor...obviously not ready for what my level of "really hard meant...
"Sorry John... If you're still out there" (hope that frozen bag of corn helped.....)


Was feeling a bit primal with a ex. Lots of biting. Biting up the back of her legs. Bit her butt. She panicked, tried to crawl away. I kept attempting to bite the butt. She farted. 5 minutes later, we're still laying there giggling!


Couple of years ago I was doing some Splosh filming slightly North of London.   My train home was 7.30pm so I had to kinda be on the tube by about 6.30pm

In some ways things weren't quite as bad as they could have been - but the last scene is a bit of a 'big finish' and it ends with me stark naked and completely covered in, I can't remember if it was 20 litres or 40 litres of gunge.

There's no part of me visible.

Clip ends.  The lady I'm filming with helps take some excess slime off me before I go to the shower.  The camera lady has put the shower on to make sure I can get straight into a nice warm shower.  I'm not quite sure what time it is above "after 5"

While the shower is running - the power trips.   This also stops the flow of water.   OK... not to worry - torch, fusebox..... 

It's not the internal fusebox.  This means it's the mains outside.   The main controls are locked away and this is on an industrial estate, in London, on a Sunday, after 5pm.  Any and everyone who might have been about is long gone.   So we've no means to get the power back on.  No way to get the shower back running.   I am completely naked and encased in slime... and have about an hour to get onto the tube........

Posted (edited)

 Dateline: Last Sunday evening. Front room all ready for a session, I was in the bedroom almost ready - fishnets, Yankee catchers, silver chain and black leather bra that leaves sod-all to the imagination, black corset, full skirt - putting the finishing touches to my make up.  Then I heard the Vandal talking to someone and wonder, 'Who the HELL is that? If that ***y ***age kid from next door has come over, I will happily hex the little bastard.' I stayed out of sight, emerging when I heard the front door close. The Vandal had answered the door, in half-mast jeans, leather waistcoat and cracking hard-on, to a local pizza delivery dude (and this is a small village...) - he'd got the wrong house.  In plain view from the front door, a coffee table laden with flail, riding crop, bondage tape, handcuffs, silk rope - what people usually have on their coffee table. The pizza dude wanted the house next door - where aforementioned ***age horror lives.  And I wouldn't put it past the little smart-arse to give the wrong address on purpose, given that he and his mates have definitely heard some unusual sounds from our home on more than one occasion...and I'm wondering if we'll be able to get pizza delivery any time soon...

Edited by Vandalslut

LOL when I just now read MissLessli and Laurah's hillarious stories.

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