Do I have issues with objectification?

[Deleted Member]

I've recently discovered something about myself. Some of you might know I'm a passionate roleplayer, and the only sexual interaction I've ever had with anyone, was through imagined characters.

The thing is, I feel that I got too used to doing sexual activities through roleplays. It got so far that being physical with, or even just imagining a real person, feels weird and awkward to me. I'm able to feel sexually only towards fictional imaginary characters, or people without significant identity (anonymous videos and pictures). Once it's a real person that's part of the real life, I feel like it's wrong to think like that about them.

Please note that this isn't about attractiveness. Real people can be beautiful to me, it's just that I think sexually only about characters specially made for the sexual purpose.

[cautiousswitch]

I have heard of people indulging in kink, masturbation, and pornography to the point where they can't be satisfied or get aroused by "normal" stimuli.  It would make sense that fanticising or role play can have  a similar effect. 

In most cases it's a slow build up - trying something new, then something even newer, until older activities aren't as interesting.  Reframing their thoughts or going through a period of abstinence may help the person appreciate what they used to enjoy,  If your only interaction was through fantasy then this will probably be harder for you to do if you want to change.  You may have to do a very practical analysis - why do people have sex, what do you want out of sex, what is sex all about - to "convince" yourself that you don't need to role play to enjoy sex.

It does sound like you have the attitude that you have out of respect for the other people.  It may be a matter of talking to people about sex until you realize that some of them do want to occasionally be thought of as sexual objects.

[un****]

I have absolutely experienced this! For me its really this complicated psychosexual Gordian knot where leaning on fictional personas helps me cope with lots of things in my life, and its related to wanting to be seen as the man i am, and all this baggage i have about sex that can just be left at the door if im not me. I dont have any answers but youre not alone.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, cautiousswitch said:

I have heard of people indulging in kink, masturbation, and pornography to the point where they can't be satisfied or get aroused by "normal" stimuli.  It would make sense that fanticising or role play can have  a similar effect. 

In most cases it's a slow build up - trying something new, then something even newer, until older activities aren't as interesting.  Reframing their thoughts or going through a period of abstinence may help the person appreciate what they used to enjoy,  If your only interaction was through fantasy then this will probably be harder for you to do if you want to change.  You may have to do a very practical analysis - why do people have sex, what do you want out of sex, what is sex all about - to "convince" yourself that you don't need to role play to enjoy sex.

Well, I actually can be aroused by real people. So no, I haven't lost attraction to reality. It just feels wrong when it's a real person.

3 hours ago, cautiousswitch said:

It does sound like you have the attitude that you have out of respect for the other people.  It may be a matter of talking to people about sex until you realize that some of them do want to occasionally be thought of as sexual objects.

Yeah, it has something to do with respecting them. I know people can feel sexual. It's not them, it's my perception.

Edited May 21, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, undeath said:

I have absolutely experienced this! For me its really this complicated psychosexual Gordian knot where leaning on fictional personas helps me cope with lots of things in my life, and its related to wanting to be seen as the man i am, and all this baggage i have about sex that can just be left at the door if im not me. I dont have any answers but youre not alone.

Not really related to the post, but it's related to another one of my situations. I suffer from massive self-hate, and my real body is deformed and ruined. So, I prefer creating an imaginary character to embody myself.