Depression-the killer.

July 23

Depression led him down a road to ruin. He seperated from life. He went to work, and made his ***. But he lost all substance to life. His wife was there going through her own turmoil, which he couldn't respond to in his state. It affected thier sex life. It became more routine, and less enjoyable, eventually killing his confidence. So she strayed, not getting what she needed at home. When they seperated, his confidence tanked even more, and his depression weighed down on him.

For the next few years his life was work and sitting at home, in his small apartment, watching tv, or just laying in bed. His only companion during this time was his Black Lab Mason, his best friend, his only friend. He would keep enough food in the house to keep him and Mason fed. He would occasionally do a basic clean in the house, never a deep clean.

Then one day he decided enough is enough. This life he is living isn't really living at all. He is done with this depression. He started with the house, he cleaned and deep cleaned. He started taking Mason for daily walks, instead of just letting him out in the yard. Then he decided it was time to try and find a good woman again. The first couple of dates were fine. It wasn't until the first time he was intimate that he realized just how much his confidence was shot. He got off way to soon, and new she wasn't satisfied.

He did some research and found ways to improve his physical situation. Finally after a couple of months of working on himself, he started going on dates again, but this time he went with confidence(even if at first it was a fake till u make it situation) eventually his confidence came back full ***. He found himself being pulled to the BDSM lifestyle, he read all he could find on the subject. His sex life became great again. And after a year he found a woman he really wanted to be with, her fetish matched his perfectly. It was with her, just the way she looked at him, that really gave him his confidence back, he no longer had to fake it. Together they explored this fetish world.

Let this be a lesson to all. Depression can lead u down to ruin. I know it is easier said than done, but it really can be as simple as saying, im not doing this anymore, im done, no more depression. For a long time I would repeat that to myself every morning looking into the mirror. Eventually it just took hold.