FFM Relations

[Mr****]

Maybe you should ask her

[Rh****]

ask her

[ge****]

First up, talk to her and not an Internet forum - take to her openly and honestly and ask her to do the same.
.
It could be she's not entirely comfortable with the idea of a threesome at all - but goes along with it to keep you happy, or worse still because she feels coerced into it.
.
It could be she simply doesn't find those you choose attractive, or doesn't find a connection and chemistry with them. Maybe if she is genuinely into the idea of threesomes, let her choose, rather than presenting her with another woman as it seems you are doing.
.
It could be, from what you've said about "glancing over", that she doesn't feel included and that you're paying all the attention to another woman and not her - threesomes are supposed to be all inclusive where all three people involved are into it and included in it.
.
Whatever it is the *only* way you are going to get any answers is from her, so talk to her, not us.

[Th****]

She doesnt want to share you and is only doing this to please you. If you truly care about her and want her to be comfortable, maybe thats enough threesomes for a while?

[Fichtenelch]

How can you make this better?

Let your wife choose the other Girl!

[FETMOD-TF]

15 minutes ago, Teddy_Dom said:

What happened to my comment?

The Kink Academy is a moderated forum, so your post was just in a queue waiting to be reviewed by a moderator. 

[it****]

I’m glad everyone had the same thought lol.

[jw****]

Right

[pa****]

Here is the female perspective: perhaps she doesn't really want a third, at least not now. She may just want the two of you at this time, and a stronger bond. Ask her.

Is the relationship with her more important than the kink, then the scene? If yes, prioritize it. And when (and if) she is ready for a third, have her chose, or chose together.

There is an ebb and flow in everything.

Best wishes.

[Br****]

"caught her seething with jealousy"
If that's the case then clearly she isn't happy & we aren't the people you should be asking the question to "how can I make it better" as only your sub can answer that, you could get 20 different responses here of advice but ultimately, it is only your sub who can answer that question satisfactory & you need to be prepared to accept & respect a response of she doesn't want to do it again.

Edited July 30, 2025 by DominantSadist

[Ro****]

As a submissive myself, here's my suggestion. Talk to her about how she is feeling when she sees you giving the other attention. Listen, also point out it would not be as fun if she was not involved. Usually, there's some sort of *** that someone appeals to you more or can do something better in some way. Explain to her that there is no comparison, only different, you don't want her to be different than who she is, as she is treasured as is.which is why you want these experiences with HER.

COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY.

[to****]

Maybe she wants to be the one making the decision? Maybe she wants some power dynamics in the situation? Maybe she's jealous because she's possibly wanting to evolve? Things to put in the processing tank.

[je****]

Let’s be honest. The women choose us. It’s not like we can go shopping for a third. Why isn’t your partner participating and just watching?

[Fu****]

Maybe you should let her pick, clearly her taste varies from yours. Learn her and reward her or you might end up losing her.

[pu****]

Possibly, the rules get a little blurred on the reason for the threesome, it ether a play for him have dominion over her or a he is too continue to be a tool for your and her pleasure, I am not judging but we had a similar issue in our polyqual a few years back....but that is my opinion I could be wrong

[Deleted Member]

Maybe she doesn't actually want other women involved.
Is she only saying yes because you want it?
Have you considered trying having another man involved instead?

[Ma****]

4 hours ago, NixDemonwolf said:

Maybe let her pick or if you're willing try a MMF threesome, or sit down and have a long conversation about if she actually enjoys it.

Definitely no MMF

[Ma****]

4 hours ago, Heartbreak22 said:

Yep.. She probably feels your natural thrill at a new person and takes it as a snub... Why not try arranging the situation with the new girl positioned to the side while you engage with your partner, and provide lots of praise?🤷‍♂️

TBH that’s what it’s supposed to be right? I like the praise idea. She loves that.

[Ma****]

3 hours ago, Fichtenelch said:

How can you make this better?

Let your wife choose the other Girl!

Idk.. that’s kinda my kink. Just thinking about that gives me the creepy crawlies

[Ma****]

2 hours ago, tony9in said:

Maybe she wants to be the one making the decision? Maybe she wants some power dynamics in the situation? Maybe she's jealous because she's possibly wanting to evolve? Things to put in the processing tank.

I’ll talk to her about this. There’s some good stuff in want you said brother

[Ma****]

3 hours ago, gemini_man said:

First up, talk to her and not an Internet forum - take to her openly and honestly and ask her to do the same.
.
It could be she's not entirely comfortable with the idea of a threesome at all - but goes along with it to keep you happy, or worse still because she feels coerced into it.
.
It could be she simply doesn't find those you choose attractive, or doesn't find a connection and chemistry with them. Maybe if she is genuinely into the idea of threesomes, let her choose, rather than presenting her with another woman as it seems you are doing.
.
It could be, from what you've said about "glancing over", that she doesn't feel included and that you're paying all the attention to another woman and not her - threesomes are supposed to be all inclusive where all three people involved are into it and included in it.
.
Whatever it is the *only* way you are going to get any answers is from her, so talk to her, not us.

I’m not much of a talker, and she knows that. It’s genuinely hard for me. Brother I would’ve swept this under the rug like I didn’t see anything, but I like her a lot. Thanks for the advice though. I’m going to bite the bullet and just see what she says.

[DarkArts1066]

I feel that you may have answered your own question here.
If this is a problem which keeps cropping up during FFM sessions, perhaps it’s time to sit down with your sub, and have an open and honest discussion about what is bothering her ?

I’ve encountered this before -not for myself, but with a Dom/sub couple I know.

She was unhappy with their activities - something which came to the forefront on evening when we had all had a bit to drink socially.

He liked to video their sessions, so it was relativelbeasy to watch a couple of them back, and indeed he was restraining his sub, and tending to make her watch his activities with the other woman - almost ignoring her completely, until he had finished with the other woman.


Maybe the route forward is to have that discussion, and consider her input when sourcing your other mutual partners ….. ?

Good luck.

[Jo****]

Sounds like you both lack communication skills.

[Jo****]

The clarify, yall need to have a deep discussion about what’s expected during your play time with other people. Or even if she wants other ppl involved. Something’s might be great in theory until they happen. She may have lost int and doesn’t know how to express it but either way you need to figure out as a “dom” what your sub NEEDS not what you think they need.

[Ri****]

I comment above about talking with her is probably going to be the most productive. Things to consider in that conversation are if your sub wants to be in more involved in playing with the new partner, or perhaps wants you watching while she’s playing. In a similar vein, she may want to be the alpha of your two subs, after all it’s her relationship that the new female is being invited into, perhaps she’d like to have some control.